You Are NOT Alone

I have been lurking and reading all the threads from top to bottom. I have finally gotten up the courage to post one.

I too have severe arthritis from being rear-ended in two different car accidents. The first one destroyed my neck and the second one has ruined by lower back. I can truely sympathize and empathize with a lot of you! I know first hand what it means to be in constant unrelenting pain, seven days a week, 24hrs a day. I have already had one spinal fusion on my neck (five years ago) and have waited for the past three years for disc replacement surgery, that is now in the hands of the F.D.A. I pray that they will approve this surgery sometime this year!

Are there others of you who have major disc problems? Have you had surgery? Have you tried physical therapy, accupuncture, therapeutic massage, heat treatments, over-the-counter/prescription medications & herbs? I would love to hear from you.

I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone!

Hi Shirley Shirley here in PA up the road about 180 miles from you. I dont have disc or back problems but as a medic have seen some folks come out of wrecks with really messed up spines. My knees are just degenerated . I am sorry you have these problems-how do you eget your gardening done>>> I have to rely on sitting and weeding and the help of some neighborhood kids. It is nice to see you posting here Shirley

Thanks! It is really nice to meet another Shirley! There seems to be quite a few of us with this uncommon name. Where about in PA do you live (what large city)? I'm near Baltimore.

These two rear-ended collisions have done quite a job on me. The first one happen to my neck about 22yrs. ago, while my oldest son was securely fastened into his car seat. The second happened to my lower back about 16 yrs. ago. Both happened in broad daylight, with clear weather & road conditions. Both happened within 10 miles of my house. I definitely have become a statistic, twice! Unfortunately with time, my injuries continued to degenerate to the point that I needed surgery on my neck 5 years ago, and I'm waiting for several more surgeries, to repair higher levels of discs in my neck and also my lower back, which has never been repaired.

Modern medicine has come a long way, but it still has a ways to go!!! Waiting for the past three years for this new procedure, "disc replacements", seems like an eternity when you are in constant pain. I can't even remember what it is like to be "pain free". If you aren't familiar with disc replacement surgery, it will be the newest procedure to replace spinal fusions. It will allow more mobility, decreased symptoms, much less or no pain, so that people can lead a "normal" life.

I garden in "spurts". I try to always sit down and/or scoot around the garden on my little seat with wheels. I'll get the name of the product, if anyone is interested. I have learned through painful experiences that I can't garden for hours. I garden for short periods of time. Then I go inside and rest in between. I try to do as much as I possibly can, but that has been decreasing in the past few years. I did hire a person to weed & edge the beds, as well as, dig/plant holes for larger shrubs and trees. It was a difficult decision, but one that I am very happy with now!

I found a excellent website called "Lee Valley Tools". They also have a printed catalog. They have ergonomic tools for people with disabilities. That is one of the places that has helped me continue gardening, through the use of their specialized equipment. Gardening is the one thing that I have loved and continue to enjoy the most. I'm glad I am still able to "work" in my garden, even if it is in a limited capacity.

I would be interested in the name of your scooter. I have to sit to weed also. Do hire two boys to dig and plant trees shrubs or the like though. With my knees I cant spade the ground up if its hard. I am out where MD(Garrete County)and WVA meet on the PA border. We are about 70miles SE of Pittsburgh. Interstate 68 is eight miles to the south. I am familiar with Ellicot City. Go that way often to meetings in Balt/DC area. Stayed in Laurel for months following 9/11(doing disaster response) I have learned that getting little things done every day as I am able is better for me than diving in and overdoing it and not being able to walk for days afterwards. Got to go I hope to talk to you again Shirley

Hi, Shirley...And Shirley. :)

My hubby Howie fell from a lumber loft at his old job at a lumber yard and broke his vertebrae and eight ribs. He healed up somewhat and was back to work, but reinjured his back while unloading a truckload of shingles. He had bone fusion surgery on L3-4 in 1996. We just heard about the disc replacement surgery, too; it's amazing what improvements have been made even in that short amount of time.

God used those circumstances to really turn things around for us. Because of his injury, he qualified for help from the Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation, which sent him back to school for retraining. He got an associate degree in computer programming at our local technical college, all expenses paid, and now has a completely different job. Our marriage was strengthened during that long haul, too.

I'll let him tell his own story first-person, but if you want to write to him, I'm sure he'd like to write you back. He's Howie here at DG. :)

Shirley,
Arthritis is definately painful. I've had mine on and off sine I was about 5 years old.

I'm told that anyone can get a note from their doctor and if you send it off to the Arthritis Association you can get a loaner scooter. I don't know if you have that service in the U.S.

Another disabled person here, :-) Seems that gardening is one of the few things I can do. I have HVC, MS and have had two back surgeries, one in my neck (Disc removal and fusion) and one in my lower back to repair a pinched nerve, both from car accidents.

My balance went south (way south) for the winter and never came back, LOL. That's part of the MS problem. Mike, my hubby, works from home to take care of me. My vertigo is such that even simple personal care chores prove hard but I love to garden.

We are just starting out so we have a very long way to go. We want to put in some gourds, some veggies, and LOTS of butterfly/hummingbird flowers and plants. I have learned so much from this site and can't begin to thank Dave enough for having this site.

As for weeding, I have one of those mats like you carry to a ball stadium to sit on and use it to sit on the ground and scoot along. It's alot easier for me to do this than try to get up and down or even bend over much, my back won't take that anymore.

Mike does most of the heavy work but only a bit at a time as he has two blown knees from years of Marshal Arts. Both of his wrist are shot from years of computer work. LOL ain't we a pair. But we get it done, a bit at a time, but done. I love the chance to be outdoors and work with the soil.

No, none of us are alone especially with such friendly folks as you find here at Daves.

Annie-FLSuncoast

I'm back.....we were vacationing in California and visiting our oldest son who is now working & residing in Sunnyvale.

We came home to find that we were inundated with veggies! We are being overrun with tomatoes, squash, cucumbers & beans! Isn't that a wonderful dilemma??? I will share some with neighbors, friends, and co-workers. There is plenty to go around :~)

Gardenwife, if Howie would like to join us in our discussions, we would welcome his input.

I promise to get the name of the scouter, Shirley M. Everytime I go outside, I always have a million things to do and the information on the scouter slips my mind....senior moments :~) I'll tie a string around my finger to help me remember.

Just like Annie, I too have used stadium seating pads in the garden. In fact, I have several in different colors.

I find that gardening is very therapeutic. It helps to nurture my soul by growing & tending the flowers, plants, & veggies. It definitely is not physically easy, but the emotional rewards are abundant!

Thanks for everyones input. It helps to hear and read about other peoples experiences. It is VERY important to realize that YOU are NOT alone. Emotional support is just as important as physical support! Knowledge is power and together we will help and enable one another :~)

Very well said Shirley1md, :-) I forgot to mention it earlier but I spent quite a few years living in Maryland when my Dad was stationed at Andrews AFB, :-) Lived in Capitol Heights, way down by the DC line. Capitol Heights wraps aroung the SE most corner of the DC Line.

Annie-FLSuncoast

Good to see everyone back from holidays etc. Welcome Suncoast nice to see you here. We support one another and its good to have other people for emotional support. Annie I can understand about the vertigo. While I was being treated for a bipolar disorder that started after a head injury they gave me a medicine that caused vertigo. I looked like a walking drunk. Sometimes we suffer so while doctors try to find medicines that work for us. I know, it took almost 2 years for them to find medication for me. I had severe reactions to most things they gave me. It was discouraging and I felt so hopeless. It took me almost 6 months to even get my speech back. I had to learn how to do even the simplest things like dressing myself.

Thanks Joydie1, :-) Yeppers the vertigo is about the worse I have to deal with. It just doesn't seem fair, if I'm gonna feel that dizzy and drunk I should at least be able to have a cold brew after being out in the garden all afternoon, but NO because of the HVC I can't drink at all! Just doesn't seem fair to me, LOL! I wish the Dr.'s would find out what is causing the vertigo and the chronic fatigue, they still don't know. Even the simple things I need help with, I can't remember the last time I put on a pair of tennis shoes and didn't get totally blow away with the spinning room when I bent over to tie them. Anyway, thanks for the welcome!

Annie
FLSuncoast

In regard to the vertigo: I don't have it all the time. But when I do, I use a four footed cane. It helps give me stability. Try it, I guarantee it will help with walking and even standing. I feel for you Annie, it is a terrible affliction. I especially hate the getting out of bed in the dark. Now which way was up????? :)
Welcome and take care.
God bless.

I've been lurking a bit too. I felt "too young" to be here. I had a head on collision(teenager on my side of the road, going approx. 60mph)in 1983. I had a skull fracture, boken bones and dislocated ribs. It was 2 years before I could turn my head, or tilt it back. The skull fracture caused balance problems, memory loss and depth perception problems.(I tell people I have a good excuse for being dingie) I still have muscle spasms in my lower back and between my shoulders. I never know what will set them off, sometimes a sneeze or bending the wrong way.
I sit to pull weeds, but have to be careful how much I use my hands because I also have arthritis. I use lots of mulch!!
I was wearing a seat belt in the accident, but the front of my car folded in on me, the spare tire came thru the back seat. I drive bigger cars now, lol.

Cala good to see you are comfortable enough now to talk about your condition. Too many of us are too ashamed to speak openly, I know I for one find it difficult to do. Here is a forum on Dave's thats a safe, supportive and understanding environment to do so. My short term memory is almost non existent. I have to use a daily planner to keep myself focused for even just my everyday life...dishes, cooking everything. A lot of things just don't register normally for me anymore.

I love my garden and the work helps with being able to complete a task as well its enjoyable and lifts my spirits. Otherwise I believe I would be depressed all the time thinking about what I used to do professionally and how much I had accomplished in life. Now I consider myself to be "retired" from the old and an "entrepreneur" in my new life because we have to find creative, innovative and new ways to get on with the business of our lives.

Hi Calalilly and welcome! I'm so glad YOU decided to join us:~) You are right!! It does takes a lot of strength & courage to "speak-up" and I commend you for it!!!

Disabilities are NOT determined by age. Please DO NOT feel "to young" to join us!!! I'm SO SORRY to hear what happened to you from your head-on collision. You are lucky to be alive, regardless of how many times you may have heard that phrase. It is true!!!!! Thank goodness you were wearing your seat belt. Did the person in the other car survive?

"It was 2 years before I could turn my head, or tilt it back". I can TOTALLY relate to this! It took me 1 year, with constant physical therapy, to be able to turn my head, somewhat. Currently, I still have "limited range of motion", the 1st rear-ender caused my cervical spine from a normal gentle "C" curve to a more "S" shape. The 1st spinal fusion has stabilized & straightened the bottom of the "S". I need more, but that in itself is a whole other topic!

"The skull fracture caused balance problems, memory loss and depth perception problems.(I tell people I have a good excuse for being dingie). I still have muscle spasms in my lower back and between my shoulders. I never know what will set them off, sometimes a sneeze or bending the wrong way". Since I didn't personally suffer a skull fracture, perhaps someone else maybe better able to address this, with suggestions. Did you suffer short-term or long-term memory loss? Has any of it returned?

Moist heat helps to relieve muscle spasms in my back. I have also seen herb infused pacs (sold at craft fairs)available. Many of these are then placed in the microwave, for about 1 minute, to be heated up. Also, try alternating the moist heat with ice pack therapy. Remember to wrap the frozen ice pacs in a lightweight towel before putting them on your skin, so they won't stick to you.

Lee Valley Tools, Charley's Greenhouse, and Jerry Baker's magazine have ergonomic tools for disabled & arthritic gardeners. All have websites as well.

I hope that some of this will be of help to you & others. Please frequent this forum as often as you would like. Again, please try to remember that we are ALL in this together, and "YOU are NOT alone" :~)

Shirley, the driver of the other car wasn't injured even though he rolled over after he hit me. His passenger was slightly injured. I still can't remember that whole day and a week or so afterward. DH said they kept asking if I knew where I was, I told them I was in Florida. I thought I had a suntan, but was jaundice from a blood clot on my liver.
Our neighbor was behind us a couple of months ago. A truck was broken down in the road. We went on by, but the driver flagged them down to let other cars pass. A pick-up truck hit them in the rear. It tore their little car all to pieces, the driver of the pick-up stole a car from a house and ran, held his family hostage. Lots of excitement for our little town!! Bob(the neighbor) was injured, but his wife was almost killed. She still can't walk. Her neck was broken, but a friend of mine is a nurse and lives right where the wreck happened and held her till the ambulance got there, so she's not paralyzed.

I've tried the new Threma Patch and it works. I like moist heat, I heat a wet towel in the microwave. Someone was telling me about a reusable pack that you heat in the microwave, seems like she said it was rice hulls or something like that.

Calla, life just doesn't seem fair, sometimes! Truer words were never spoken!! You were so badly injured in your accident and the driver & his passenger barely had a scratch on them. I'm sure you are still asking yourself, "Why ME"? You may never have the answer, but we have to try & live our lives to the fullest, one day at a time......

What happened to your neighbor is so unbelievable. One thinks that it happens only in "the cities", or on t.v. I truely hope & pray that your neighbor whos neck was broken, will one day again be able to walk. We ALL take our good health for granted...until it is taken away from us!

I'm glad the "Therma Patch" is helping you. I have heard & seen the reusable packs filled with rice hulls. Again, I saw them either at a county fair or in a magazine. I'll let you know if I find a source for them.

Okay, I'm finally going to join in here too. The 6th anniversary of my major car accident is coming up on Sept. 14th. I was driving to work at my second job about 6 PM, and the sun was setting in my eyes. I came up over a hill, and there was a farm truck ahead of me doing about 40 MPH in a 70 MPH speed limit. I remember thinking that if I slowed down, a semi would run over the top of me, so I kept going the speed limit. Anyway, I ran right smack into the back of that farm truck and crumpled the jeep cherokee that I was driving. When I came over the crest of the hill, I saw it just in time to swerve to the left, which is what saved my life, but I took a major blow to the right side of my head. A couple of kids stopped and got me off of the interstate, and they say I climbed out through the windshield and was walking around on the road. I don't remember any of this.

I went through 2 1/2 years of facial surgeries to get me to a livable state, and the doctors at Mayo in Rochester MN weren't done with me yet, but I made the decision that I had been through enough and I was run down enough that I needed a break. I haven't been back since, but I do need to.

I suffer from severe migraines, because my jaw doesn't fit together like it should, and there's a constant pain that causes me to constantly clench my jaw, especially when I'm stressed. I also have limited vision in my right eye, which suffered the most damage from the accident, and my sinus cavities were totally destroyed so I have numerous sinus infections.

Twice, they cut across the top of my head from the top of one ear to the bottom of the other ear and peeled the skin back to reconstruct my face. I'm sorry if I'm being too graphic, but it feels so good to finally be able to express all this.

Add to that the depression and learning how to deal with living with a disfigured face. I just wanted to put my own experience in here, to let you all know that you are not alone. I'm here with ya. All of us here have been through, and are still going through or learning to live with, a major trial in our lives. I choose to think of it as a stepping stone in God's process of leading me in the direction he wants me to go.

Love, Hugs, and Blessings to all!

Thanks Joan for sharing that from your life It was awful for you to go thru and Im sure still painful and limiting. Telling others thi may give them hope with coping with their disability and trauma also. Blessings for talking about it to us Shirley

Joan its good that you were able to share. Life does throw us curves and we learn how to deal with them as best we can.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing what happened to you in your accident. Being able to say the words out loud is a big step and writing them down for others to read is another huge accomplishment! You have come a long way Joan!

I hope this thread will give others the courage to come forward, because TOGETHER we can face what life throws at us. We are ALL in this TOGETHER. As long as we have one another, we are NOT alone!!! As I mentioned above, "emotional support is just as important as physical support! Knowledge is power and together we will help and enable one another".

This message was edited Tuesday, Sep 10th 9:41 PM

(((((Joan))))) When DH saw my face in the emergency room, he didn't think they could ever fix it. There are still scars, and I had to stay out of the sun for a whole year, but it's not very noticable now. Plastic surgery has come a long way hasn't it? I've seen your picture I think, next to your flowers that were under lights, you're beautiful.

Thanks Cala, I wear my glasses mostly because of the damage to my eye and all the scars. I wish I had a scanner, I'd send you a pic of the jeep and the picture my ex-mother in law took of me the day I came home from the hospital. It's pretty horrid.

But, all of us can be thankful that we are alive. The good Lord left us here and gave us our crosses to bear for a reason. A lady I know commented on the fact that I never once said "Why me?" That didn't even cross my mind. I knew God was speaking to me and trying to tell me something. I thought it was to slow down, as I was working two full time jobs at the time. Now I'm not so sure that was what he had in mind. I just hope I understand what it is he is leading me to do with it. I'm hoping that I will be given the opportunity to help someone else along the way that isn't handling a similar situation very well. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for that opportunity.

Joan,

I'm sure you have heard the saying, "beauty is only skin deep". How true that is! Real beauty shines from within!

We all have our "crosses to bear". Some are heavier than others, but none-the-less, they affect our lives, our families, and our loved ones. You are correct when you say, "I knew God was speaking to me and trying to tell me something. I thought it was to slow down, as I was working two full time jobs at the time. Now I'm not so sure that was what he had in mind. I just hope I understand what it is he is leading me to do with it. I'm hoping that I will be given the opportunity to help someone else along the way that isn't handling a similar situation very well. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for that opportunity."

Have you considered volunteering at your local hospital or at a rehabilitation center? You would be helping SO MANY people, while at the same time, helping to heal yourself. It is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to another human being. It would truely be an unselfish act of genuine kindness and beauty. As I mentioned previously, "real beauty shines from within"!

Shirley

I have been thinking about that Shirley. The problem is we live almost 30 miles from the nearest hospital. But, I'll stop in sometime when I'm in town and see what they say.

Joan, know what's funny about the reconstructive surgery? People see Lauren and I together and say "She has your nose" I want to laugh!! It's not the nose I was born with, lol.

I've got just the opposite here Cala, my daughter Jerri and I used to be almost identical, but not anymore. :)

I just read this for the first time. I learned about some people I thought I already knew better. Cala, Joan, I never knew! Here I am complaining because my hernia has caused me to lost my formerly flat tummy, at an age when people probably couldn't care less about my bulges. You are young women who have had to live with having your faces rearranged! I am humbled. You are both so generous and warm and helpful, I had no idea the trauma you had endured. I feel so fortunate to know you here and to learn of your triumphs. Thank you.

Joan - Just by talking here you and all the others are helping tremendously. I can't tell you how sorry I sometimes feel for myself it shames me. You have all gone through soooo much more and still stay focused on helping others. You're all such an inspiration. Tracy

This is such a valuable thread! I saw it bumped up and re-read it. Good grief, the human spirit is indeed indomitable.

I have seen photos of you, Cala, and have always sort of envied your beauty. You are young, but you are just so lovely inside and out. Joan, I don't remember seeing your photo, will look for one, but you certainly don't need to be embarrassed. You are an important part of the environment at DG. I know you must be beautiful. Sure, you see little "imperfections", but someone else probably sees interest spots.

I still wish I didn't have this bulgy middle!

LOL Aimee, I have that same bulgy middle. And I also know you are gorgeous in your own right. And all of the others here too. What a great crew these folks are. If it was up to all of us here I am sure there would be a true lasting peace in the world.

Ponditis - "What a great crew these folks are. If it was up to all of us here I am sure there would be a true lasting peace in the world"....TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN! From your lips to G_d's ears!

Since this thread which began almost 1yr. ago has been re-visited several times, I am absolutely delighted to hear from so many new "enabled" gardeners! Plus, all the "seasoned" gardeners too!! Your input contributes to the strength & "bones" of the garden and is valued!!!

To give everyone an update, I'm still waiting for new strides in medicine which will correct my numerous damaged discs in my spine. However, the good news (I think) is that I have an appointment (only took 6 wks. to get it) to see the head Neurosurgeon at the Univ. of MD. Hospital, that specializes with my physical problems. I'll keep you'll informed of any future developments and how this will affect the quality of my life. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that hopefully, they will be offering me a renewed sense of hope and a pain-free life. So, stay tuned....

Shirley, they have something here called "Vax-D" and it's non surgical. It can help ease back pain in lots of people.

Hi Cala,

Can you please elaborate on what is "Vax-D". Is this a new form of treatment and/or medication? I'm not familiar with this.

Thanks,

Shirley

This message was edited Sunday, Jun 22nd 4:57 PM

Here is a link that explains it better than I can. http://www.vaxd.net/about.htm

Thank you very much Cala for the link to this incredible new non-surgical form of treatment! I read it from beginning to end and printed it out for my DH too. I could identify with almost all the patients & physicians that gave testimonials on their website.

Unfortunately, "Vax-D" is not available in the State of Maryland!!! I couldn't believe it!! I wrote them a lengthy e-mail and asked if this treatment will be in my area any time soon. The closest facility to me would be in Philadelphia, PA - 3 hrs. one way! I certainly hope that they will tell me that it will be coming to my area very soon!!! I'll let everyone know when I get their response.

Glad I could help. They have one here in Knoxville.

Right now to have this treatment I would have to travel over 400 miles :( sigh

I am hopeful for good news from the rheumatologist July 2. He took a bunch of my blood and several x-rays plus he wants to see my MRI results and other x-rays I have had this past year. Maybe he will have that magic pill for me that will take away the pain. I can dream can't I???

Thanks, Shirley. I dream of peace around the world as I know it can happen.