dilema

What do you do when you ship a trade to someone and they don't send what they were supposed to? I sent about 10 or 12 ajuga plants to someone and she was supposed to send me 3 water hyacinths, but they never arrived. I e-mailed her but got no response..........

Been there done that woodspirit. When I e-mailed I got a nasty post about me in the General Discussion, so I guess you are not even supposed to inquire! Just make a mental note and then hope for better luck next time.
Candee

They may have gotton sick...Just give them a little more time!

I have a few water hyacinths if they don't come thru for you!

This message was edited Saturday, Jul 13th 11:29 AM

This is a perennial complaint, and I have been on both ends of it. A trader I sent plants to and received bulbs from through another site posted here about my "failure to honor the trade arrangements." When I saw it, I was stunned, and checked the card file I used to keep to be sure I had sent my end, then emailed him and posted about it as well. He was unwilling to recognize that I had sent my part, and really hurt my feelings by just treating my efforts to make amends, for what was apparently lost, as if I was a thief and he was taking the high road. Why he felt compelled to mention it puzzles me, but he must have liked his pity party, as he never allowed me to set it straight by sending a second shipment. I have sent many, many things for postage that never arrived, plants for plants or seeds for seeds I never received. And I have forgotten what I should send more than once. Sometimes I thought for sure I sent it, but someone said it didn't arrive, so I sent it again. I am currently having serious memory problems as a result of chemo, and it seems to be getting worse. Writing things down no longer works, I am likely to lose the note before I get it done. It torments me! I constantly go around feeling like there is something I have forgotten to do, and there probably is, but if I inquire, I often get a polite, "don't worry about it", as if I meant to cheat someone. If you have tried to contact the person, by email and snail mail, and still have no response, do as Rebecca says, be real patient. Keep a sense of humor. Nag them gently. But don't assume they are bad people out to steal your stuff. It might be a serious medical situation, and you would not want to blow your loss out of proportion.

I have been thinking for several days that I need to post about this memory thing, because I know there are some promises I haven't kept, but can't recall. So I wish to say here, please, don't be too nice and deprive me of the opportunity to be honest and dependable, if I owe you something. If I sent it, I have most likely made a note to myself on the day I mailed it, but if I just dropped the ball, I might not know if you don't tell me. Computers fail, mail gets lost and stolen, people get sick or unexpectedly busy. It's about the human condition, and we are all vulnerable.

So true Aimee.........we're all human!! And as I said before, "To err is Human........to Forgive is Devine"!! I have spells with my gallbladder that slows me down considerably, But I have a notebook that I keep everything in, and cross it off as I can get to it. If we really think about it, we have a large group of "Baby Boomers" who are not all in the best of health, and the heat of the summer has set in, soooooooooo "Patience, Prudence, Patience" should be ther order of the day.

"eyes"

Yea Woodspirit, I too have been in the same boat as you are now. But when I e/mailed the person she told me the reason she hadn't mailed out my plants, and I fully understood.

Imaseedkeeper, Yea that is very true, when you make trades you really don't know if the person will suddenly become ill, or loose their job etc.

Aimee, I have been there and I know exactly what you mean. People do forget and it's totally human! old or young...people do forget things when everyday home life takes over and slaps you with reality.

Eyes, You couldn't be more right!!

I on the other hand keep up with ALL my post office reciepts so that if someone has any doubts that I sent their package...well then I have a reciept to prove it. I don't know about all the PO's but the one here prints the State of where the package is going, the date sent and so forth.
There has even been trades that I was behind on that when I did send the package...it was never mentioned. as if they are pretending they never recieved it! I know I myself have had my bouts with bad luck and even when you "try" to make up for it...well the person keeps hashing it out over and over!! I say let it rest!! Give the person the benefit of the doubt, your package might show up afterall.
Nuff said

Well, I must say I'm glad I posted this. I too have CRS from time to time. I am two years older than the baby boomers. My spousal unit got me a handheld recorder for Christmas 2000. I keep it in the car. I drive a long ways to town at least twice a week and that's when I do the most thinking and remember people I need to call or places I need to go. I can just pick up the recorder and put reminders on it for later when I write them on a list in my organizer. I have to have these 2 things to keep up. But then I work 3 mornings at a newspaper office, two afternoons at the county's archives, one afternoon at a thrift store, go to physical therapy twice a week and then there's my children and grand children who live nearby.....
I will be patient and if I never get the water hyacinths, I will just chalk it up to minor mishap and forget it.
Imaseedpicker, I may holler a little later on. But they are annuals here, so I can't wait too late.........

egads Woodspirit, how do you keep up and keep it straight?

Wood, I know how you feel, it happens to the best of us.....

I have a different angle to add to this post. I had traded seeds with about three different garden club that I belong to. I was sent seeds labeled Triple Yellow, double yellow,tripe purple datura's. What I got was single white datura's (which I had plenty of) and someone had the nerve to seed me weeds. No I meant the really nasty weeds you pull out of your garden. I have a small garden(250 sq ft) and space is very important to me. I was babying these plants and weeds and filled with excitement and expectations waiting for the first blooms. I have never been so disappointed in all the years I have been gardening.
Now while I can understand something going wrong or things coming up that would slow one down in making a trade but to do something like this is uncalled for and down right out mean. I just said a prayer for the one's that did it and ask God to take the anger out of my heart because it would do me no good to hold it in and let it fester. I have pulled up most of the white ones and replanted some of my seeds from last year.

I have heard other people mentioning that they received weed seeds instead of flower seeds, and it just makes me wonder. I really cant imagine someone would go to the trouble of harvesting weed seeds. I would be inclined to think that it is ignorance on their part???orr am I just being my naive self again????

Some of you may recall my bird of paradise story....I'll just re-tell it again cause it is so unbelievavle to me...

I decided that I just had to have one....so I made a couple of trades (just to make sure one would survive the shock) I send out about 6-8 butterfly bushes (second year ones) to each trader (odd that they both wanted these) and would you believe I never got a bird of paradise???both traders turned out to be duds.....even though they both e-mailed me to let me know that the butterfly bushes got there, and both had some trumped up excuse as to why they hadnt sent their end of the trade out yet, well, days passed into weeks and weeks into months, I have given up on them.....then.....I made another trade with someone else, and they sent me one huge bird of paradise, and one baby (well....not that small - let's just say a smaller one) so...I'm happy....my point is, what can you do? just be cautious. I wouldnt (naturally) trade with these two hoooligans again, and would caution anyone else about them too, I would send a private e-mail and just alert them....

I guess, as in everything in this life, you take the good with the bad, and just hope the good outweighs the bad....

thanks, everyone

About a year ago, we put together the plant and seed trading primer. One of the sections was titled "When things go wrong": http://davesgarden.com/trading_primer/6/ and it might provide a few helpful tips.

The trade tracker here on Dave's is a wonderful tool - it has helped me many times. It only takes a few minutes to enter your trades. You'll find it in the Menu box under Tools

Woodspirit, I'm glad you figured out what to do! And I'm glad you took a "well, let's relax and see what happens" tack about it all. This is a perennial problem, something that is bound to happen once in a while, or more than once in a while. I'm so happy that you decided to deal with it like you have, and like I do.

For the record (and posterity's sake ~ LOL!), here's what I do:
I give the trader the benefit of the doubt, automatically and without question. The main reason is it's much easier on yourself that way, to think the good instead of letting the bad eat you up. The other reason is well over half the time, in my experience, it turns out the other trader wasn't a "deadbeat" ~ things just happened out of their control.

On the other end, in the almost five years I've been trading seeds and plants, I've had times when I was in the middle of a bunch of trades and my world went down the tubes awful quick ~ health, home disaster, etc. It was all I could do to hang on for the ride ~ didn't have time to even think about completing trades. And the thought of e-mailing all those people and letting them know what was happening was overwhelming ~ couldn't do it. Later, when I had the time and emotional energy to do it, I was so thankful for the ones that responded with "I'm so glad things are better for you now! Take your time ~ it can wait." I got a couple of those just yesterday in response to my "Sorry! Kenny had unexpected emergency surgery last week ~ will get them out soon." e-mails I sent Friday. Warmed my exhausted heart right up! :)!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other times my trades would be lost in postal space. I can't count how many times I've gotten a smashed box or envelope, either one sent by me and returned or sent by someone else to me, neatly tucked into a plastic bag with a note to the effect of: "Don't know what happened. Here's what's left. Package it right next time." when I know it was packaged according to what my postmaster told me was the correct way. (From what I gather, the differences are as diverse as the postmasters.)

I hate to admit it, but I had a girlfriend who traded via the internet and was less forgiving than I ~ she automatically thought they were all "out to get her". I had a much better success rate with "problem" trades than she did.

Oh, Wingnut, does this mean you will forgive me for forgetting until last night that I promised to send you some seeds for caesalpinia pulcherrima???? I promise, I will send them. Maybe today.

Wingnut, I feel the same as you. sometimes things just get out of hand on the home front, and when everything is falling down around you the trades are the first to be neglected, it has happend to me, and I stress over it. I just hope that people are understanding, I seem to be lagging behind on trades myself......I think I will take a look at the trade tracker - it sounds like a useful tool that probably isnt getting as much use as it should....I know It never even entered my mind....

This may seem a little ugly, but some time back I decided not to trade with Non-subscribers. I will do sase, but I get the postage $$ first! I feel that most of us that are paid have a reputation to protect and will not let each other down. We are "family".

LOLOL, Aimee! Of course! Actually, I thought we were just saving up all the "I'll send you this!" seeds and plants we've talked about until we can deliver them face to face! *Grin!*

Pebble, definitely use it! I love it! The only thing I would change about it is to put the address in one box so you don't have to enter each part of it in a separate box. I'm still trying to find a way to work around that one. But it's such a breeze to use! Every time I get confirmation on a trade, I'll go there immediately and enter it. MUCH more reliable than my memory. ;) If you need any help with it, let me know.

Wingnit, I do need you help.
I went in there, and it gives you all the options, and i clicked on the one "List trades that you still need to send " and it sent me to a page that I cannot figure out what to do with. the only clickable thing is the one to get ready to print....

Pebble, go to the first page ~ the one you go to when you first click on "Tradetracker" in your menu on the right. Look near the top for "Add a trade". Click on that and it'll take you to a page where you can add all the info.

Once you get some trades in there, you can click on the "List all trades I still need to send" and that will give you a page with a list of just that ~ the ones you need to send out. It won't list anything until you've put some trades in there. Once you get that far, look at the far right of each trade on that page ~ there will be some choices you can click on (Edit, delete, view, etc.). I don't think you can see those choices unless you use the scroll at the bottom of the screen to move the page over a ways (and, again, you'll have to have some trades entered before you get the choices).

Clear as mud? LOL! PLEASE let me know if you're still unsure. :)

ok wing I will try it right now
thanks

Sure! Let me know what happens.

Azalea,

I've done the same as you. I had a spate of very bad trades late last year/early this year and decided enough was enough. It was too much of a coincidence that such a number of people would have had family crises, one or two I can understand. If they wanted seeds I'd have happily passed them on for nothing not even postage but I was lied to too often.

One of the traders (I'd written 3 nice emails over 2 months to say I hadn't received her end of the trade but she had not replied to one) wrote to me just last month requesting no less than 15 packets of seed and sent me her list again (including all the seeds I'd requested in exchange last time). It's expensive to send out seeds to a foreign country for me so I told her that I was sorry but I wasn't trading at that time. I understand from another trader that this person is usually an OK trader but I shall not deal with her again, whatever the circumstances.

WING, THANK YOU!!!! I tried it, and finally figured it out. I have added a whole bunch of trades there.

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! You're so welcome, Pebble! I used to keep a paper book with all my trade stuff in there, but once during a storm a tree limb fell on the roof right over my desk and, yep, water rained down right on top of my desk and my book! Lost track of a lot of trades that way. Now, all that info is here at Dave's. If I have another disaster, I can just go to a friend's computer and access it.

Baa, I don't blame you one bit! I can't help but wonder where that girl's mind was if she didn't keep her end of the trade and still requested more. Could she have honestly had something get in the way and forgot to send your seeds? It's hard to believe that she'd ask for more knowing she hadn't completed her end the last time. Then again, I can't believe the gall of some people I've encountered. But those bad ones are in the definite minority, thank goodness!

Wingnut

I never used to be a cynic, I thought there was good in everyone .... until I worked with the public! LOL Seriously though, I wrote those mails over a period of weeks not days, and she was trading with other people during that time which lead me to believe that 1. she had no family crises to attend to and 2. was ignoring my mails.

Baa - this has nothing at all to do with you, however, I also have decided not to do any more "foriegn trades", just too complicated and expensive, not even seeds!! The last one I made cost me $9.00, that person said they would gladly send me the postage, that was 3 mo ago, I am still waiting. After a couple of polite emails, I have just chalked it up to experience!

LOLOL! I can relate ~ used to be a waitress and bartender for years. THAT'll show you the not-so-nice side of some people. *Grin!* And the good in a lot of them as well. Yep, that girl was one of the bad ones. And a stupid bad one at that. Reminds me of some of these people: http://www.etiquettehell.com/ LOLOLOLOL!

$9.00?? Azalea, I've have chewed their head off! But as you say, what can you do except write a couple of mails.