Shoes?

What is a bra? Sort of sounds vaguely familiar.

Aimee, a bra is a contraption designed to fit the front of your car to protect it from bug damage to the paint...or a contraption designed by some guy by the name of Braziere that thought the natural shape of a woman was not good so he developed this torture device to punish them. For thos with a severe need to punish their breasts there is even one called an underwire that will lift them up and seperate them so that the whole world can watch the female suffer who dares to wear it!

As for footwear, I hace 2 pair of work boots I only use in extreme situations...like trying to shovel rocks out of the ground to make way for plants. I have slip on tennies for walking around the rest of the time.

As for thongs, well I fail to see why I would want to deliberatly give myself a wedgey...never felt good when the brothers gave me one so why try to relive that awful feeling!

This is a hoot!

LOLOL, Aimee and Zany! I never used to wear one as I wasn't all that endowed until I gained 75 lbs. in the last couple years. I still hate 'em! But unless I want to have to throw my girls over my shoulders every time I put on a pair of pants in a couple years, I'd better wear one as much as I can.

Hey! There's incentive to lose weight! I'll keep telling myself I can throw my bras away again when I get back down to 150 lbs.!

Thank you for the information. In another life, I believe I recall being tortured as you describe, but somewhere along the way I lost the details and the device. Wingnut, I wore one of those, as well as the tom-walkers and sausage casings required for respectable working women, when I was tiny, trying to weigh a hundred pounds even when I wasn't in the throes of PMS. But it was gaining the weight that made me decide to take a stand. Along about the same time I decided not to wear makeup or submit to hair designers. The Congress hasn't seen fit to bestow a medal upon me, but I feel like I advanced humankind untold leagues when I took this brave action, or lack of action. Think of all the fires I have prevented, not to mention the further crowding of jail cells and insane asylums I relieved, just by freeing myself before I committed some rash act of insanity against those who would subject us to such bondage, such brazen sadism.

Oh, Yess!! So very, very true!! I hearby crown thee "Queen of Everything That Makes Sense" I occasionally "bra up" for a trip to town, but only in summer when I can't wear a coat. And only so if I turn sharply, I don't injure anyone closeby....;*)
The weight was the deal breaker. Add those pounds, change of life heat, and it can get 150 degrees under one of those things!! LOL!!

In case I haven't already bared my soul enough, there is a funny story about bras and me. Several years ago, when I was raising angora goats, my DD was getting serious about the man to whom she is now married. So she decided I must meet him. She called and began discussing a time that would be convenient, given that I was busy as a cat covering it with new kids and some inconvenient freezing weather which forced me to bring some orphans and weaker kids inside. We settled on a day, and I was going over the things I would need to do to be presentable. I said to her, "Okay, I will need to touch up my hair, get the kids out of the dining room and find THE bra." She tells this story when she is attempting to convey to new acquaintances just how weird her mother really is. The emphasis on THE bra is hers.

I've actually just started wearing a bra.
I started the night my wife found it in my car ;-)

oopsy!!!

Wintermoor ;-)

Oh, what a howl! I love the idea of guys enduring that supreme insult to our physiques. I am mentally picturing Barry tugging at his underwire (don't say it too fast) and adjusting to get everything in the right place, or fighting that wayward strap under a long fitted sleeve.

Or sitting in the pub with my mates for a drink :-O

Embarrasingly yours

Wintermoor

Oh, you guy!

LOL Wintermoor, if your wife found it in your car, you are probably wearing around your neck, tightly! LOL

Oh my, I can't think of when I've laughed so hard! I don't wear shoes unless the temp outside is below 40 degrees or I'm going somewhere that requires them (restaurant, grocery store, etc.) As for THE bra, I can relate. Hubby always has to answer the door when unexpected company drops by and distract them while I run back to the bedroom to find my bra.

AnnMarie

Bras or shoes..........who invented those torture chambers anywho????????????

"eyes"

What a great thread! You are all too cool and I have been away too long. Now I am (ROTFLMAO) and can't get up. Amie that tuging you were explaining to Barry is to us guys called a wedgee.

I have to make time to get here more often...........you all are as crazy as I am! Oh What does ROTFLMAO mean? Send the kids away............ok is it safe? It means; Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off.

Now I think I will call my sister to help me get off the floor.................oh no here I go again, I will never make it up off the floor....my sister's name is BarBRA

I haven't laughed in days. thanks all! now will someone help me up off the floor?????

Sure, Bonnie, I'll just grab you by the pucker string and hoist you right up!

I however HAVE to wear a bra! It is too unsightly when I don't LOL with as many as 5 hooks on the back of mine, it really does feel like a harness!! the underwire is for the birds!!

Oh my..my my my...I just don't unnerstand today's lingo. My dentist ( a woman) asked me once do I wanna be "flossed', then looked at me expectantly...now all this talk about undies, knickers, floss butt, etc, I'm a'scairt to death to go back to her! What to do what to do?
Zany! Oh Zany...bra? You mean I can finally take this thing off? My mom was incorrect? It is SO hard to breath with this contraption on! And it makes my shirt buttons pop open and expose my...my...my ...chest hairs (blushing here, cuz I'm shy, ya know).

NOw, as for shoes...(don't know why but thought this was a 'shoe thread') I a'feered to tell ya'll newcomers what shoes I've been known to wear. I think I just better hush up and listen to ya'll some more.
Ya'll are nuts@!!!
(and I love it!)

Mollybee, that's what I mean about not turning around too quickly! WHAMMOOO One could injure small children, if you get my drift and I'm sure that you do...heehee And wedgie panties? PUCKER STRING!!!! OH, my stomach hurts!!! I don't particularly like thong footwear, much less undies!!
Yes, oh yes!! THE bra, indeed!! Why would we want more than one? LOLROFLMAO

To try to make it all seem more simple to understand----That is what you get when you call those shoes thongs--they are flip flops. If you would have called them flip flops you would never have gotten into the bra thing either! Good thing you didn't do as I suggest as I enjoyed every post. And my sister is named BarBRA...........ok so I can't spell!

LOL!!!!! No Jerry, calling them flip flops might have started the bra thing sooner, as that's what happens when you don't.....oh well, I think I'd better quit there.

Braziers were invented to support a womans breasts and decrease back pain. For a buxom woman this made sense. But for those of us that are not endowed with basket balls but simple golf balls, they are only there because over the years little reasts wanted to act like big ones until it became the standard that all women wear them whether they need them or not...I am a definate NOT, I decided that for the sake of modesty Tshirts and camisoles are all the undergarment I need. The shirts keep one from glowing through blouses while allowing the body to age and sag as nature intended. For those of you who are young and still have firmly placed small mounds please understand that even a golf ball will drop eventually....but they make great knee warmers as time goes by....I may reconsider the bra however if they sag so far that they become foot warmers...

LOLOL!!

You guys are hilarious. I've enjoyed reading this thread. Got a really good laugh out it. I am with Zanymuse and the golf ball size. I always say, "It doesn't matter how small you are, they go south as you get older". We just end up with long, skinny tubes.

Speaking of getting older. I have really ugly toes and the big ones are fat. When I asked my 4 year old granddaughter I wondered why my toes were so fat, she looked at me seriously and told me , it was because I was really old.
Out of the mouths of babes.
Bobbi

Lord only knows why I don't run much....b/c I would surely have black eyes and bruises on my knees! LOL

Oh my gosh! You all are crazy! Oh, laughing too hard! My cheeks hurt! (the ones on my FACE)

Shoes in the garden: old tennis shoes,
Undies: cotton grannies (something has to hold this gut in)
brazier: only if going to town & then don't really need it! Winter time with sweatshirts - never! (unless it is really really cold outside!) Not well endowed at all, I can run & not have any pain - some things are a blessing!

Flippity flop!!! Somethings got to drop!!!!

"eyes"

Horseshoe! You put that bra right back into your wifes chest of drawers! Hmmm Chest of drawers...that is a drawer designed specifically for holding chests...and looks like it might be a lot more comefortable than a bra at that!

ROTFLMAO!!!!! This is awesome! Pucker string, Aimee? LOVE that one!

This message was edited Tuesday, May 28th 3:22 PM

In defense of a most useful culinary item, which has migrated to all points of the globe from its humble beginnings in a nameless woman's kitchen, I am moved to point out that a brazier is a utensil designed for cooking meat or vegetables in hot liquid. The word is apparently of Germanic origin, from the root "brese". Despite being a perfectly serviceable item, the brazier seldom receives much attention, as all eyes are focused, in pleasant anticipation, upon its contents. The brassiere, or bra for short, is a woman's undergarment designed to give support and contour to the breasts. In one of my reference books, it appears the authors are saying this word comes from the root "braciere", meaning "armguard". (Why do I now have a vision of French Inquisition?) While of questionable merit, given its standing in popularity polls, the bra receives considerable attention, as all eyes are focused upon its contents, etc. It isn't clear exactly where this device originated, but my wandering through the reference material turned up other interesting words, like "brass knuckles". To be sure, it would be safe to attribute it and the bra to the same person who designed a branks, a sort of bridle with a metal bit to restrain the tongue. And whereas the brazier is likely to hold hot water and fat, the brassiere found in Wintermoor's car is likely to hold only fat while landing him in hot water. Heck, now I see that my connection is lost, both here and on the computer, so just forget it!

WOW!!! What did I start here?!! This is tooo funny!!!
But speaking of brazier, Every Good Friday in our Church, we do certain readings from the Bible. There is one reading in particular that refers to someone burning something in his 'brazier'. The same man from the congregation would get this reading every year, and guess what? Yep! He'd pronounce it 'brassiere'. We would all be shaking with laughter and trying to hold it in with tears streaming down our faces!!!! THAT was FUNNY!!!
Anyway, I've decided what kind of shoes I will wear in my gardens. At home, I wear slip-on pennyloafers. At the community garden, I wear sturdy tennis shoes.
Thanx for all your input, but don't stop on my account! Ya'll are havin' soooo much fun at this!
Cecelia

Celia, I was wondering if you even looked at this anymore, since it clearly deviates, and is frequented by us deviates. Nice of you to let us hijack your thread so badly. Have you settled on other items of apparel for your garden time? I dreamed I was gardening in my Maidenform Bra.

Aimee, you are tooooooooo funny!!!