Memories

My sister who died 3yrs. ago come Sept. sold Avon. Christmas was always late and always Avon. If the phone rang at 2 in the morning, I knew it was her..we'd talk at least an hour or more. Once she had been given a stack of free 5min. calling cards..there we were at 2am and every 5mins. she had to mash more numbers to activate the next card. LOL Anyway my DD recently became a Mary Kay rep. My birthday/mother's day box arrived today...pair of gardening gloves,hand trowel,and Mary Kay stuff. As I looked through and read the directions the tears just streamed down my cheeks. I would never for the world tell DD how hard her gift hit me...I miss my sister soooo much. Reckon from now on I can expect to get Mary Kay instead of Avon in packages. Ginger (smiling through the tears..again)

((((((( Ginger ))))))))

I think it would be okay for you to share that with your daughter. My second daughter met with a tragic death 9 years ago, and the weirdest thing happened today. While I was at work, someone called here at the house asking for her. They didn't know she had died. DH (not her father) told the caller what had happened.

But isn't that weird - I wish I knew who it was that called, but he didn't get the name! Actually, it shook him up quite a bit, even tho he never knew Kristy.

hugs to both of you, it must be difficult.

Oh Ginger, I teared up reading your post. My best friend is my sister. She's three years older than me & we've so much to talk about. I've not yet had to deal with death in the way that many of you have. I lost two dogs a year & a half ago, but they were so close to one another that their loss seemed destined in order that we felt less sadness and they would be together. Strange. I've grandparents that are in their mid 80s. They are my heroes. I avoid thinking about death as much as I can. Your post reminded me that it is so real. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. Never is there a replacement. Your DD is filled with life and love ~ you must have done an awesome job in raising her! Many blessings for which to be thankful...

Morph...thank you..DD and I are now best friends. can't see the keyboard for the tears

(((Ginger))) I know where you are coming from. I lost my only sister to cancer in 1997, and still to this day I think I see someone that looks like her and think it's her, and little things always remind me of her or what she used to do.

Also, Hugs to everyone else who has found themselves in this situation.

(( Thinking of you guys )) - praying those good memories will comfort you.

Thanks GW...Tis the next day and I plan to pamper me with the Mary Kay...if I can figure out the "destructions"...LOL

Oh Ginger, I am so sorry. I truly feel your pain and emptiness. Joan, your post made my heart do a triple beat. My only sister, who by the way shares your name, was so helpful to me in l997 when I was diagnosed with cancer. She flew up my last week of radiation and went with me everyday. I know other cancer survivors have felt this, when we see or hear of someone that has died of this disease and we lived, I feel guilty. I don't know why I'm here and your sister is not. It's just that when I read that, it could have been my sister Joan telling that story. GL, heartfelt sympathies to you on the loss of your daughter. Love and Hugs to each of you!

((HUGS THROUGH THE TEARS)) Lost may baby sister years ago in auto accident. Still miss her. God Bless you!

((((Ozarksue))))))
And (((((((Ginger)))))))) again today!

Oh Vic, I am so glad you beat the cancer. It's quite an ordeal to go through. After reading your post, and then re-reading mine, I can see why it made your heart do a triple beat. There are many similarities there.

Hugs,
Joan

Vic, you said what I so often feel. That I should be here, when younger women with less involved cancer and young families to raise have lost the battle during my recovery, is so puzzling. I am grateful for this "second life", as it seems to be a special gift, but I so wish no one had to lose the battle. I feel like I want to urge every woman to have a CA125 test, and to eat foods that fight free radicals. I want to hug all the sisters and daughters and mothers whose loved ones were taken by this terrible disease. I want to thank everyone for my life. Total strangers took care for me while I felt I couldn't go on, couldn't ever get out of that hospital bed again. I shall never forget. The rest of my life will hold some degree of debt I can never repay. Not guilt, just a profound gratitude. We have crossed the mountain, but we have not forgotten the peaks and valleys of that journey.

Aimee, what is that test you said we should have? Also, where would one find a list of foods that fight free radicals. I don't have cancer but am in a high risk for it as my mother and sister have both had breast cancer. Mother died of it years ago at age 52 but Sis seems to have won the battle but it is too soon to know for her.

Elena, the test I mentioned is specific for ovarian cancer. I think unless you have some family history of it, you are not considered at risk even though there is some other form of cancer in your family. But I wouldn't swear to that. It is a simple blood test, rather expensive for what it is but reliable. Anyone with a test result under 35 is safe, and over means more tests. So I am being extreme when I say test every woman, I should say every woman who might have any risk factor. As for the foods that fight free radicals, I was given a wonderful book, which is on loan to another patient but I will try to find the authors' names for you, titled "What to Eat If You Have Cancer", and includes lots of information about what to eat to prevent it as well as recover from it. I was amazed at what I read about the importance of including certain foods, like broccoli and berries and other things we might not regularly serve. And that was for all cancer prevention, not any particular type. Give me a day or two and I will get the information about it, as I think it should be in every home and read by the entire family.

Aimee, I have always heard that when ovarian cancer is finally discovered in many women it is far advanced and didn't have a way to be detected before many serious problems started appearing. I didn't know there was a test to find it. I think as women get older we become more at risk for it if we still have our ovaries, which I do. I think it should be routine testing for older women. I personally would gladly foot the cost just for the peace of mind involved. Also think of how many women don't know the family history of illnesses they might be at risk for getting. Adopted people who have no idea what medical histories existed in their unknown families, people whose mothers died early in life of other causes, etc.
Thanks for all the info.

I also want to eat right as I know it is so important for many reasons.

I fully agree, Elena. It upset my doctors when I wanted everyone tested, as they feel they know there is no special risk, since no woman in my family has even had breast cancer. Their thinking is that I didn't inherit it. My thinking is we need to test every woman I love anyway. You understood the same thing I did, and it's supported by a world of experience, that if you still have them, they might get it. Over 25,000 cases are diagnosed every year, and about half of those are too late. They go through pure h--- getting tests, treatments, more tests, and still die within two years. By the time you have enough symptoms to go for tests, and they rule out everything else ovarian cancer mimics, you are half dead, with cancer in numerous other organs. It usually spreads fast once it goes beyond the ovary. A day or two is too long to wait. I saw my doctor on Saturday morning for the first time, and she was ready to operate on Sunday morning, skipping mass! For the record, I should not have had it. If you have a lot of kids, (7 here), you are less likely. If you took birth control pills, (okay, just a few months), you are less likely. In other words, anything that prevents ovulation is to your good. If you eat healthy foods, and I could have written that book from my plate, you are less likely. If you don't abuse alcohol or smoke, same thing. But I did get it. My sisters don't get the points I do for the above factors, being smokers, heavy on fast foods and prepared meats and fewer kids, but they didn't get cancer. So there is no way a doctor or anyone can say you won't get it. You are totally right in my opinion, if they are still there, they can become malignant. I don't think any insurance will pay for the test, and you will have to find a gyncologist-oncologist to order it and properly interpret it. There aren't many in that specialty, but a regular OB-GYN isn't enough. They just don't have the experience to be familiar with all the little things to look for. But if you can afford the test, find a gyn-onc and get it done. Many women's lives could be saved just by their having your attitude. Also, the sooner it is recognized, the fewer organs are likely to be involved. If I had waited another week or so, the tumor she peeled off of my colon would have been spread to inside my colon, making a far more risky surgery and more complications.

Aimee, it amazes me that doctors aren't interested in the things that will lead to obvious problems for people. They are just playing the odds but when my health is concerned I am not a gambler. Preventing problems is the key to this, in my humble opinion. I really must make myself get the test that most likely found your problem. I know I need it but hate the thought of the cleaning out process. Dread is stupid on my part when I know that test is necessary to find polops. At least now I know there is a test to find the ovarian cancer. I didn't know that and had read all the data you just told me. I hated to make that statement concerning the fact that it is often too late by the time the ovarian cancer is found but it is so true and folks should be more aware of it. It is such a shame too when the test is available. DUH!!! Why not make that known to women? Thanks for your great advice.

Elena, I had never heard of the test until after my surgery. But my symptoms became so painfully uncomfortable I could no longer ignore them. I hadn't been to a doctor in over twenty years! I just hate the whole process of routine visits, as I think they are usually wasted effort when doctors don't really pay attention. I was absolutely convinced I would never have cancer, since I never smoked, I eat wisely, am naturally not given to a lot of fat, and our family just isn't cancer prone. You can't imagine how stunned I was to learn I had a terminal, far advanced cancer! I should mention that my main symptoms have been noted in numerous other ovarian cancer patients: increasing fluid retention, to the point of looking like a full blown pregnancy, big painful belly, heartburn, which I had never had except when pregnant, crushing fatigue, poor sleep, stiff joints (resulting from the toxic fluids accumulating in all my tissues), even more stiff than my usual arthritis, back ache like I was in early labor, and erratic bowel changes. My urine at the time of diagnosis was as dark as strong tea. (Big clue there, one I heard from every single ovarian cancer patient I encountered at the treatment center!) I craved sugar, whereas I had never been a sweets lover before. I have read that some doctors feel the cancer cells feed on sugar. I would suddenly have a wild craving for it that left me shaky and would have hurt someone who got between me and something sweet! If this list rings a bell, insist that your doctor check you for ovarian cancer! My DIL and I have been directly and totally responsible for sending three other women with cancer for the exams that saved their lives.

Elena has suggested that I put some of this information in the health forum, and I agree it would be a good idea. But I am not sure how much and what is the best way to do it. If one person benefits from my relating my experience and the things I have learned from it, I am all for whatever it takes to bring it to them. It would have saved me a lot of misery and possibly limited the spread of the cancer if someone had told me what I have posted here.