POSTAGE FOR TRADE???

Hi Pirl!! If I can add to that gitagirl there is always the trade list!! Did you all already talk about that and I missed it? I know you used it Gitagal as you sent me seeds through it when I very first started on dg. Even before I took over the newbie seeds program I think!! I was a real newbie!!

Dont forget there is trade tracker also. Im old enough to need an extra memory.

I just use a screen capture to use as a reminder since I'm on my photo program several times a day. It's a huge help...unless the computer goes on strike as it has done.

Arejay--
Because of my wonderful note book, I can tell you we traded on 1-3-2009.
You wanted Wintersweet seeds and, I have noted, that you sent me a trade.
I no longer know what it was....do you remember?

Did the WS sprout--and how is it doing?

I have never used a Trade tracker--nor a Journal. Just don't mess with stuff like that.
Writing things down works fine for me. I'm old--and old fashioned....
Gita

After reading the post of summerkid...I must comment. I don't think there is a selfish bone in my body. But I must say that every thing has a price and value and that includes time. I have plants right now that need a good home. I'm sure there would be takers if I posted them....but sometimes it's easier for me to compost them. Due to my life and my daily schedule..the way I feel..the amount of work...the list goes on. There's a lot of love and time that goes into me packing plants and I have a system with it. I bring them in...soak in water...remove pots, excess soil....etc etc. I use only a certain type of paper towel...wrapping...and so on. Then to weigh the package, print the postage, and take it to the Post office.

Kim - you said it so well and I agree with you 100%.

It may be off topic a bit, but what do you all do when a newbe contacts you through D mail wanting some plant you have and sometimes it's not even on your have for trade list? Sometimes they're asking for it for just postage or they don't have plants to trade but make jewelery or something. Something I have no need for.

I don't do as many trades as I once did. I'm just too busy taking care of my own garden and have health issues (arthritis, fibromyalgia) that have slowed me down and has made everything a little bit harder to do.

I wouldn't ask anyone to send me a plant for nothing, so I get a little miffed when someone asks me. Especially if that person just signed up, it makes it look like they signed up just to try to get free plants.
I find myself just ignoring their d mail, because I don't want to end up sounding rude to them. But I know that not responding probably is just as rude.

I would ignore them as well.
But if you feel constrained to reply, a "sorry, no can do" should suffice.
They don't need to know why you are declining to oblige their out-of-the-blue demand.
Then again, maybe a "I don't know you so ... not right now. Thanks for joining DG & I look forward to perhaps trading in the future."

There's nothing wrong with saying what you honestly feel about the contact.

I have heard it said...that not responding is rude. I don't totally agree... Sometimes it's better not to respond. So don't feel bad about not responding. I'm sure they'll ask someone else. I don't ask for plants for postage...but if someone offers a plant I want for postage then I could see me responding. But I can't remember when that has ever been.

If I were in that spot, Joy, I'd tell them I just couldn't do it and wouldn't explain anything more than that. Very few press onward after being told and they probably contact many in the hopes of getting something they want.

Only once in all these years did I see someone had a daylily I wanted that hasn't been commercially available for at least 40 years. Its name is my childhood nickname so I did contact the person and did get the plant. In return I sent her a daylily that she liked.

So much of responding or not has to do with who wants the plant. If it's someone you've seen on DG for a long time then it seems it would call for a response but if it's a new person, having joined very recently, then I'd wonder if they are here just to get free plants, just as you mentioned, and wouldn't feel it's mandatory to respond if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I'd also check their feedback and if they didn't have any I wouldn't spend my time feeling I was rude in either not responding or a very brief, "Sorry, I can't do it", and be done with it.

I'm sorry I'm not trading right now is what I say when I don't want to trade. And you can tell them they can always go to the newbie thread plenty of seed there;)

I stopped harvesting my seeds for the newbies. Do you want columbine, Eastern Blue Star, marigolds, Jester's Jacket hardy geranium?

I stopped to for over a year Mittsy I took it back over just a couple of months ago. I wasn't really looking for donations honestly. , it was just nice to see the familiar faces!! But You know I never turn down seeds for new bees!! You have always been a generous newbee seed supplier!! Thank You

OK, I'll start gathering the columbine seedheads as they are ready now.

Update.

Since Kim started this thread I have done three postage trades with people who have been very generous and my faith is restored in those cases. I thanked each of them and thank them here again.

Then I contacted a person who had said she was leaving DG so I asked her to send me the postage (before she left DG) for books that SHE ASKED ME TO SEND and though she admits she got the books, admits she owes me the money, she felt it necessary to ask her friends if she should pay or not. Her Dmail reply, telling me she won't pay, has language not allowed on DG or I'd copy the post and print it here.

It takes all kinds so please be sure to check feedback and get the money up front before you send anything to anyone.

I'm curious to know why she decided not to pay?

pirl, can I send you some bookz to make up for that chick's abominable behavior? I have dozens of nice hardbacks & nicer softcoverz & am fixing to move anyway. Less to haul across the country.

Kim - she wrote and said she'd pay me, then decided to "run it by" some friends and came to the conclusion that she will not pay me. I can't explain her actions.

Thanks, summerkid, but we have a surplus of books and will be donating them to the library.

Run WHAT by some friends? Which friends? Oh right, you can't explain it.

Would you please leave feedback for this person? Then ... if she doesn't leave, well ... we can follow the bread crumbz & steer clear.

I just responded through Dmail.

I can't explain why she feels she had to run it by anyone when she admitted a few days previously that she owed me the money. I'd really like to know how she explains it.

Someone who sells on eBay told me how feedback can work against me:

"... I avoided leaving Negative FB and just didn't leave any at all, because...struck me as extremely vindictive and I was intimidated by what they might do in the future...(like having a friend buy something from me just so they could leave negative FB, or even worse)."

This experience would force me to ask for payment in advance though that seems to place the guilt (in my mind) to all the honest people who do pay what they owe.

I have had a few bad ones, and I will usually send a private dmail if I notice someone I know setting up a trade with this person(s). If it is a group swap then I ask the hostess to not give my name to this person. If they are unwilling then I drop out. It does seem that subscribers who have been here several years are more trust worthy than non subscribers. I hate to say no to requests for items I have but as my health declines then it begins to cost me more when I have to hire someone to dig for me. If I ask for payment up front and it takes a month or more to get the check, then I have already paid to have it dug. I guess there is no good solution.

It's rough. I have far too many astilbe but now I'm reluctant to offer them to anyone since I still manage to do the digging but I'm so reluctant to do all the work involved if I don't know the person and haven't traded with them previously.

When I have received much more than just the postage, I am hesitant to say the person is overly generous for fear someone would try to take advantage of them.

pirl and mittsy I have had a really rough patch of depression 3 yrs ago and I do not remember if we ever traded...but what I do remember from the years of being here what wonderful and generous people you are. You are super delights to talk to on and around the threads. I wish I lived close to you so I could help you out.

May I suggest mittsy collecting the money before paying someone to dig? Or possibly potting them up then offering them? Pirl I am so sorry this happened to you also. If I was you I would leave feedback as the items were for only postage and I don't think it would backfire on you. Your feedback is too strong for anyone to ruin it. And if anyone decided that you asking for the money for postage only was unfair and didn't want to trade with you...you are better off anyway.

People like you and I and the ladies here can stand on our own beliefs and our own merits. If someone chooses not to trade or converse with us it is "Totally" their loss. You two are so worth knowing!!!!! You are valuable to alot of us folks here on DG!!!!

I would love to know in a dmail whom this person is. Did they really leave DG? Have you checked their page to see? I know I have been burnt more than enough times but very choosey about receiving my end first now.

HUGS to ALL

Thank you, so much, for your post, iloveJesus. I don't think you and I ever traded but I'd never hesitate to send you a package (or many others/most others) and feel confident I would be paid.

It's always the few rotten tomatoes (or apples) that spoil it for other people who could use the extra plants from Mittsy, myself or others.

The person who didn't send postage for the books is still on DG and hasn't left. I won't miss her if she leaves! Another person asked me to leave Feedback but I'm still hesitant, not because of what she did, but the lies she could tell.

Thanks again!

The feedback system is difficult to abuse and as pointed out, any lies will look like crazy talk & reflect on that poster in context of your stellar reputation.

How nice of you to post that! Thanks.

(I'm still weighing it in my mind.)

Pirl, I would leave negative feedback, as it's there to help protect others. I did once leave very well-deserved negative feedback for someone who at first sent me nothing after I sent her a large boxful of many many healthy plants, and finally 2 months later after I bugged her, she sent me one teeny sprout and a couple of very dried up bulbs that never sprouted. Unfortunately, she left me negative feedback in retribution for my negative feedback, but you do get to reply to it. I don't know if she's still around, but I know that my comments kept at least a few people from getting ripped off by her.

I did check her Feedback and it seems she sends seeds and some cuttings.

I'm sorry your trade was so very uneven. The negative feedback she left for you shows the type of person she is and that's her problem, not yours, thankfully.

The thought of facing a hassle with her just doesn't seem worth it to me.

Pirl, are we talking about the same person?

No. I just checked to be certain.

I guess there are a lot of thieves and crazies out there.

I just looked and you and I have had a few of the same traders. Thank God for the good people!

Yes, Thank God for the good people! The nursery rhyme just came into my head - as amended-
and when they were good, they were very very good,
and when they were bad, they were horrid!

The sad part is they believe they pulled a fast one. In a way I feel sorry for them for missing out on the friendship they could have had if they had been honest and paid what they owed.

I do believe what comes round, goes round. They'll get theirs somehow, some way. I also believe in a much higher authority who knows what they've done. Their day will come.

I can't believe that they could be very happy beings. And I do hope that you're right.

Thanks Pirl. I would trade with you also any day. I really wish you would post feedback for them even if you did neutral and listed no postage received. It is worth the little hassle you may get to prevent someone from being on the not receiving end again from this person. I kicked it around once and felt bad thinking of leaving bad feedback but I finally did and would not hesitate today to leave it. The truth will set you free.

I know the torture of well maybe they forgot but pirl clearly this person did not forget. This was deliberate. I recently had an eBay transaction that went bad. I used eBay protection and they took my side and I got a full refund and sent back item. I did leave feedback and they said they had 100 percent until I (called me a freakshow) came along. I called eBay and they did nothing about the name calling so I sent a rebuttal and said name calling showed their character. They had posted good feedback as soon as I paid but didn't stop them from posting something else.

If you can truly live with you decision even if you find out they did it again then I say don't leave feedback. It does take care of itself in time.
(((HUGS)))) Either way you chose I will love you just as much as I always have.

I'll trade with you Pirl.
I have plenty of Big Daddy Hostas. Showboat Hostas. S. Elegans Hostas, Neon Sedum, Matrona Sedum, Peonies, Bleeding Hearts, plus much more.

All with healthy large roots too.
And with 2 day Priority Mail shipping.
Send me a D-Mail if you like.

Thanks, iloveJesus. I like your approach. I especially enjoyed your sentence saying, "This was deliberate".

SPGardens - thank you for the offer but I have many hosta and also have deer who feast on them as well as the sedums (keeps them short!) and I have enough peonies and so many Bleeding Hearts that I give them away. I do appreciate your offer.

The offending person told me in a Dmail that she didn't want to communicate again if I mentioned the elections going on at the time so I never replied and never pestered her until she said she'd leave DG and then I thought I'd collect what was due me but it's clear she feels she doesn't owe me though she admitted she did. Her type of reasoning defies logic.

If anyone owes the IRS they have to pay or face serious consequences, no matter how long it is, but somehow this person feels no moral or ethical reason to pay what is due.

Thanks to all who have Dmailed me. I appreciate all of your support.

I do believe it is deliberate and I would love to know who they are. It is not liable if it is the truth. I would ask them one more time and tell them that I will be copying the d-mail on a new thread for all to see. I can just hear her tell her friends something bad about you and they say...I wouldn't pay her in a million years. Then the one you traded with can live with a free conscious not of the lie she told to her friends but the money she didn't pay you.

I have seen this in action from my own flesh and blood. She makes you feel guilty and intimidated of leaving bad feedback and they are scott free. They now have the books, they kept their money, and no bad feedback so they can do it again to the next person that falls for it. Pirl there is nothing bad about the way you feel as it is your feelings....but it is people like us who they search out and do this too.

I use to think I had sucker written on my forehead but I finally figured out they try it on others until they find one like us. But no more. There is a freedom to reporting people like this. I get peace when I turn in people like this. I use to have turmoil do I don't I do I don't I....but now I understand how the truth sets you free. Free of being beat down from someone else. If you don't leave feedback atleast tell Terry about the dmail where she was so mean to you. That is a violation of the policies here and they will take care of it.

I want to do this for you. I really hope you won't be mad at me if I report this to admin. You deserve better ALOT BETTER!!!!. You might not leave feedback but you will be protecting others on the sight from the viciousness of the dmail you received.

I couldn't find the address exchange to send you money so I put 2 months on your membership here. I know we have already renewed your faith being here for you but I wanted to do something special to tell you that you are LOVED alot. Consider it from all of us on this thread :)