What advice would you give at a wedding?

I'm a mostly retired minister who's going to performing a marriage this coming weekend. I'm wondering--- does anyone remember getting memorable advice on their wedding day, whether in the service or not? Most weddings today seem to get WAY too built up with unnecessary stuff (I personally got married without any signature drink or special table coverings), and the happy couples seem to be more & more dazed rather than blissful. I'd love to slow some of the day down enough to give them a chance to hear what's been helpful to other couples.

If I use it, I'll be happy to give credit where it's due! Many thanks for replying!
Pat in Ohio

Just there will be bad times and there will be good times, but said in a fancier way, like "you will have good times, oh, the good times you will have, and bad times there will be as well." Or something. Please don't bother crediting me!!

listen to each other's wishes and wants. and grow together as one, becoming so close that when one cries, the other can taste the salt. That's close.

Love is an ever growing thing. Don't become a pair of houseslippers, meaning don't get so comfortable with each other that you forget about the other's feelings. don't take it for granted that the one knows the other one loves them, always hug each other. Never go to bed mad and never let the other go anywhere after a disagreement (and there will be disagreements) without telling that person you love them. You never know if you'll get the chance again.
Marriage is a job, and the wages are total bliss if you do your best at working on the job.

Marriage should not be so much about looking at each other but looking in the same direction together. Remember the positive things that brought you together and then to concentrate on positive goals to achieve as a couple. All the cute, unique things that made your spouse wonderful in the beginning are going to be the things that grate on your nerves later. Try to focus on the positive -- if you look for negative qualities in someone you are sure to find them!
Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may wake up and give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%.

I told my daughter that marriage is like pushing a grocery kart uphill...sometimes you are pushing side by side, sometimes you are giving the other a 'lift'...and sometimes you are the one hitching the ride... it all evens out. Just don't complain when it is your turn to push.

This isn't advice but I heard it once (it is probably very often said at weddings but a first for me on that day) and it was a toast that basically wished that on that special day that the love the happy couple felt for each other was at its lowest point it would ever be for the rest of their days.

Pat.. this is what I learnt.
"Don't sweat the small stuffs.. they are just that.. insignificants.
The big stuffs.. do the best you can.. and when you can't, PRAY and leave them to the Lord"

You folks are the best!
Pat

Never, ever, EVER lie to each other. A little "harmless" lie can hurt more than you think and will always come back on you.

I cut this out of a newspaper many, many years ago.......early in our marriage and it will be 40 years for us this Oct.


Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.

Sydney Smith


Pretty much the way it is, in my opinion........

Happy Anniversary, Anna!

Just tell them they need to always need to trust each other, and lots of communications between them. If they don't talk things out, they will never know what is going on!
And it is Ok, to disagree!

Linda Kay

Thanks, but it's pretty early........LOL

Thanks again. I really like the image of the shears, because they can be destructive or constructive, depending on purpose & usage...
What day in October, Anna? I got married Oct 2, 1976. I had a bicentennial garter! Unfortunately, I was divorced Oct 16, 1980.--- I married someone who developed a substance abuse problem. So I know the dangers, the struggles, but not how to come out the other side.
Pat

I gave this advice at a wedding once and had good comments on it.

Ask the question you want answered and answer the question asked.

I followed it with the story that one morning I asked DH if he had eaten the last of the cornflakes. He replied, "Oh, I didn't know you wanted any." My response was, "I don't want any, I just wanted to know if you finished them off so I'll know to buy more. I didn't say that I wanted any. Don't you listen to me? You must not love me. If you loved me you'd listen to me better. . . . "

The nice thing is that this little gem of advice will help with our interactions with anyone.

The other thing that DH and I learned very early in our marriage is that sarcasm is a romance killer. My big advice to anyone would be to not trifle with the feelings of those you love.

Pat, October 11, 1969.