Where's Becky?

Becky hasn't posted since 1 pm yesterday. With her mom so ill with cancer, I'm
worried. Has anyone heard from her since her last post? She took her mom to the Dr yesterday,
came back and posted here a few times. Nothing since.

Jackie - That is so nice that you were worried about me! My mother is hanging in there ... and me, too.

I didn't get home last night until after 10 pm. Her doctor wanted her to go the emergeny room. Her oxygen level was low. Got her in and they ran xrays, some other tests, blood work, etc. Said she was healthy except for the cancer in her right lung. We don't know yet for sure, but we think the lung cancer has spread to more areas of her right lung which is making it hard for her to breathe. She thought she was hyperventilating or something. I suspected otherwise. We were hoping it was just fluid that need to be suctioned, but after all the tests, the doctor believes it is now a larger area of cancer that is affecting her right lung. This is a slow,painful death sentence. It's awful.

I had a really rough day at work with all the students, so didn't post during my break like I often do ...

And on top of that, my son was having problems paying online for his last class so he can graduate from the local community college. So I came home from work and immediately got on the phone to try to get it resolved. And yes! after talking to numerous folks off and on all day, his class is now paid for. We've been trying to get this resolved for weeks. It's a problem with the college computer system and the Florida Prepaid College Program. Thank goodness we bought the plan for each of our children as we sure couldn't afford for them to go to college now with my dh not being able to find a job.

I will survive all this ... somehow ... or the stress will kill me ...

My mother feels it's a good time to check out of life with the way things are going in this world ... as she says ... she's getting ready to "Go down the chute" ...

I am mentally and emotionally fried. And physically exhausted because of getting home so late last night and having such a tough day with all the kiddos. When it rains, it pours ...

That old saying ... what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger ... well, I have my doubts ...

This message was edited Jan 7, 2009 5:59 PM

So sorry to hear about the challenges, Becky! I think you need STRENGTH from santa claus this year!

Becky - I am so sorry for your troubles - it is SO very hard to watch your mother die! Mine died in Sept. of 2005 from complications of Parkinson's disease. My love & prayers are with you both! Samantha

Becky, So glad you posted and let us know what's going on.

Santa's strength sounds nice, and so would all his elves. Sending more positive energy and thoughts your way, Becky.

Becky, We know you are tired, exhausted, worried, and feeling helpless... your Mother adores you and appreciates all you are doing for her, and we know your family feels your pain, and we, as part of your lifes' family, are together as a team, praying for your strength to carry on through this, please know how much we here love you and pray for you and your loved ones to get through this... somehow, someway... just remember how strong she is through all of this, as she is setting a wonderful example for you now as she always has...

Thanks to all for your encouraging words and many prayers.

I've been up to the hospital to see my mother several times this week after work. They drained her right lung today and got 800 cc of fluid from that lung. This is the lung with the spreading cancer. She was breathing much easier afterwards. We are talking hospice so that she can stay in her own home where she is most comfortable. I don't think she has much longer than 2 months considering how she is declining. She's down to 91 lbs. and very frail. But she's in good spirits. I quit talking "around" the cancer after she was admitted to the hospital. I talked to her, the nurses, and the doctors so everyone knows what page we are on. I also wanted information given to her and us about Hospice. My number 1 priority is her well being ... which under the circumstances ... means keeping her comfortable through her passing. And I made it clear to her that I would do everything possible to ensure that her wishes are honored.

I think she was worried about me and how I would take all of this. Heck! I have been the one going up to see her weekly to do almost everything for her. I see her decline on a weekly basis, I see the poor quality of life she now has since her heart surgery a year ago, and I see how depressed she is about everything. She's ready to move on into the hereafter. I am okay with all of this as long as she does not suffer. If she suffers, I won't be able to handle it very well. It's hard enough losing her, but to watch her die in agony would be more than I could handle. I saw that during my father's death and it rattled me then and still haunts me to this day! I emotionally couldn't handle seeing my mother suffer like that. So, please, all prayers for her that she does NOT suffer! That is what my mother and I need more than anything. So those are specific prayers that I would appreciate from those of you who do pray. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! :-)

Becky - Thank you for the updates, and letting us know how we can pray for you & your Mom specifically. Will continue to pray. Take good care of yourself. Love, Samantha