I want to cry!! I'm not digging out the lillies!

Yesterday Yudi Malki and I spent all day covering our new lily bed with oakleaves I had stored from the fall raking. I leave them on till the spring and then rake them off and put them on the compost pile. I replace them with pine bark then. They really smother out the grass and weeds better than anything else.

Well just as we finish my neighbour comes home from work and asks me to remove them. Seems her daughter is allergic to leaf mould. I'm like, what!!? "That's why we cut down all our trees..." . I'm just looking at all my work.! I'm looking at the work to rake it all up!. I'm looking at the cost of puting down enough pine bark to smother everything (I don't till remember)! Worunk, forget that, time. We're at this house only 2 days a week during school and one of those days is the Sabbath so I can't do anything then. I work Saturday and S unday night so I end up with may 4 hours on Sunday to do anything with my kids, clean house, do laundry ect. and I'm supposed to go out and undo what took me a whole day to do and in freezing weather too!?

My hu sband says forget it. She's not playing in the stuff and its our yard anyway. The only thing is the poor kids only .hanging on by a wing and a prayer anyway. She's got a chromosomal anomolie that usually takes them off before 3 weeks of age and they've kept her going 5 years. She's constantly in the hospital with pneumonia. She's three quarters blind, totally deaf, massively retarded, the size of a 2 yearold, on a feeding pump, can't even sit up on her own. She's so bad the ped has them take her out of school until warm weather trying to keep her out of the hospital.

As mother, let alone a healthcare professional, can I say forget it and let this woman worry about an errant mould spore getting on her child. I'm just so put out! I can't wait to move. Preferably to the woods where I don't have neighbours whining about my compost pile (they attract vermine), woodpile (harbour snakes), what kind of plants I put in (one doesn't like the smell of lillies, the other doesn't like roses) my dogs(they bark and have teeth), how long it takes to put up our fence or swing set (sorry, we can't afford to hire a crew to come put up our swing), and their crummy white pines that do nothing but drop needles on my car an house a end branches that cut off my electricity and sap on my roof that rotts the shingles. And this is the best. Jewish neighbours who complain that we're too religious! Seriously! Oh and why oh why is my yard constantly being dug up? And I have it all with in 3-4 houses around us! Please Please Please let me move to the woods!

Thanks for listening to me whine. Next she'll want me to move the lillies. Over my dead body!

I can sympathize...but why did they wait until you were done??? I have to say if it were me I would leave them. I am with husband...my yard.

She was at work while we were working on it so she didn't know about it til we were done. She thinks because its on the same side of the house as her's they'll be affected. I really don't think that's so.

yehidith - You could cover the leaves with several layers of newspapers & wet them down well, then cover with a layer of pine bark. The newspapers will help attract worms, decompose the leaves, and keep them from blowing around. They are also great by themselves for suppressing weeds.
This link http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/800670/ is a great intro/summary to the concept of sheet or "lasagne" composting. I am sorry for your neighbors, who may just be grasping at straws to help their poor child. Hang in there, and best of luck on moving! Samantha

You poor dear. Just remember that you have a right to live just as much as anybody else. It sounds like the neighbors should move to a place where they are more able to control their own environment. They have a long road ahead, because mostly these conditions get worse, not better. I feel for them, but firmly believe you have a right to doing basic things to your yard. It's your yard. The neighbors seem to be asking a lot of you guys.

I also agree with your Husband. My daughter was also allergic to leaf mold, got really sick when I let her jump and play in a pile of leaves, so that cut out that activity, but I didn't go out and rake and dispose of every leaf in my yard. Just didn't let her jump in the leaf piles anymore.
If the weather is freezing then the child should not be outside and if she is outside they should have her wear a scarf or medical mask that she can breath through, even if you remove the leaves there will still be mold spores somewhere.
Their home should also have an air filtering system if they are that concerned, and not put the burden on you.
How much space is between your garden and their house?
I know this is a hard decession for you, but I think you need to grow a tougher skin, and I say that in a loving way.

You know, these guys are really great neighbours when you take the others into concideration (the ones that complain about the composte, woodpile, vicious dog they're worried is going to climb over the fence (16, deaf, so weak in the hindquarters she needed a walker) on and on. They're nice and friendly and their son takes Tae Kwon Do with my son
its just now after all that work.

I line with newspapers and paper bags before I put down the leaves. I wonder if I put another layer on if everything can come up through them. That seems like a viable idea. onThe lilies should be strong enough don't you think?

I don't think putting a thin layer of newspaper over the top and then adding mulch will deter a lily. :)

Ticker
I think that's a good option. Cover with newspaper or brown bags and then with pinebark mulch, while she's at work of course. She'll never know! the area is about ten feet from their driveway which sits almost on my boundary line.

Believe me, since I've moved here I've grown a suit of iron. One of the police officers got to the point she would wait til my baking day to come with another complaint, she'd time it for when the goodies were coming out of the oven and would take her break then. It got that bad. The man in charge of complaints at city hall finally told them that he would personally prosecute them for harrassment if they sent in one more unsubstantiated complaint. It finally took me threatening to contact my cousin in DC to have Al Sharptin come picket that got them off my back. Now I just get dirty looks.

Thing is, we bought the house as is. The yard was a wreck. I'm constantly working on it. Its not like it a garbage tip or anything. Just not what they want.

thanks everyone for helping. Have a happy newyear

As someone who HAD to move because of bad neighbors, I hope it all works out for you. Happy New Year!

Mold spores should not be a problem during cold weather or snow. Check with a local expert as to when she should worry ( spring to fall) but not winter. Good luck, sad story. Patti

Having lived with many oaks at my old house, I can say that a good mat of leaves can inhibit upward growth of a lily. Especially if those leaves have sat with snow on them. I've found lily shoots all contorted and anemic looking.

Yehudith, I read about your problem yesterday (and had my initial reaction) but decided to think on it for a day before posting.

It was terribly windy yesterday, as I drove home from work I watched leaves blow from one yard to another and back again. And those dang oak trees that refuse to drop the last of their leaves until Spring.... grrr! How I don't miss them!!

So... at the risk of sounding like a jerk ~ have your leaves and keep them too. It doesn't mean that you're unsympathic to your little neighbor's plight, but for pete's sake, you can't rid all the world of leaves. Clean them up in the Spring and dispose of them. (but keep a bag handy in case of late frosts)

Edited for spelling and to add that I'm referring to unshredded leaves. Thanks, Lefty

This message was edited Dec 31, 2008 6:54 PM

I am sure Moby is talking about unshredded oak leaves. They can mat something fierce. (Is that how the idiom goes?)

But if you had shredded them first, through the lawn mower, one of those handy blower/vacuums or a shredder, there won't be any problem. Your lilies will come straight up through those shredded leaves. My lilies enjoy a shredded oak leaf mulch throughout the year with one application in late late fall.

Newspaper I just don't know about. If the paper is wet and only one or two sheets, a lily should probably poke through, I would think. But the growing point is not sharp (duh), and is not pointed at all in fact, as what seems pointed is actually the ends of the fledgling leaves. There is a reason why lilies can poke through heavy soils and not through a flat barrier, but it's hard to explain in just words.

yehudith, wondering what you ended up doing? Just found this thread, and although I sympathize with the little girl's health problems, your neighbors request was unreasonable. Like ladygardener said, its more a matter of keeping the child away from what she's allergic to (to whatever extent its possible), which is not your responsibility. If she was allergic to dogs, would they ask you to get rid of yours because dander may blow into their yard? Lots of people are allergic to grass pollen, but don't ask neighbors to rip out their lawns! Besides that, mold spore are carried on the wind and are everywhere anyway.

Wow, yehudith, they don't sound like great neighbors at all given the list of things you claim they're complained out, and the fact that you seem to get regular visits from the police and you're spending time at city hall?!?

I agree with the other posters. The neighbors need to MTOB and worry about their own properties. You've posted pics of your yard before and I have never seen anything that could be construed in the slightest to be unusual, unkempt, or inconsiderate. I agree with other posters that you can't stop nature and that the family with the issues perhaps should find an environment more suitable to their liking rather than to expect those around them to change to accommodate.

We moved from a neighborhood with houses in close quarters and obnoxious neighbors to a place on a couple of acres with great neighbors and life has taken a complete 180 - and coming home and doing our own thing is now a pleasure and not a source of tension for anyone.

Dear Yehudith,

May I suggest that you smile pleasantly and say you'd love to accommodate them but you can't? When they ask why be pleasant and just say you can't. No explanations. Do your best to keep the conversation short. Look regretful if it makes you feel better. You are obviously a kind and considerate person, but what they are trying to do is bully you.

Donna

Thank you all for your support. I really, r weally, appreciate it. The family with the leaf problem is not the nightmare neighbours. I really haven't had any issues with them up to this point. Its the other control freaks that call the cops and the county.

I've told them that I will move the leaves, but I can't promise when as I'm so limited on my time. They said they would help. I'm going to hold on til the early spring and move them then which is what I had planned to do all along. Maybe a week or so earlier than I planned depending on the weather. Right now its so cold nothing she has to be mad to think she'd get me outside anyway.

Again thanks so much to all of you. Its so nice to know that not everyone thinks you're crazy.

Just found this thread and have to say I agree with most of the others. If they have a problem with leaves, then they should move somewhere where there aren't any. And it IS winter. Let them stay in their house and keep the windows closed if it's a problem. I think it's reasonable for you to wait to move the leaves until after the last threat of a freeze.

Hello :)

I'm from the other side of the fence, so to speak...pardon the pun.
Having problems with neighbors is common...and it's a shame. I can remember a time that one can count on neighbors to help and be a welcoming committee when you move into a new neighborhood. That has gone out the window. I'll share a story which is related because it's a "neighbor" issue, but not over leaves/mold.

We have neighbors across the street that harbored a pair of ferel cats in their side yard evergreen bush. Since the cats weren't being fed by them, and they weren't "doing the business" in their yard, they didn't mind the "extra" company. Well, those 2 ferel cats grew to 13 cats over the coarse of last Spring through Fall (3 litters). Our neighbors to the east of us were thrilled seeing the "adorble and cute" fluffy kittens taking the trek over to their house...following "mom and dad cats" which were fed by them. Now they were feeding 13 cats plus their own 3 in-house cats.

So, where do you think all these 13 cats were "doing their business"? Well, they won't do it where they sleep...across the street in the evergreen bush...or near their home. They won't "do their business" near or around where they eat...which was next door to us (east side)...so where is the next closest place to leave their "business"?
Yep, all of our gardens and yard...all 13 of them!

I had brought the problem up to the ones feeding the cats...and they thought I was a nutball for not enjoying the adorable cats! So DH bought a trap and I bought cans of Tuna in oil. Long story short...all 13 cats trapped within 2 weeks...along with a couple of possums. Animal control picked up every one of them.

Now our neighbors to the west bought a puppy...a miniture pincher. Has anyone heard a mini pinch bark? It very high pitch. Well, they would let the dog bark, and bark and bark. We had to call AC on them too. We even had a video of the dog barking for 45 minutes without it taking a rest for a drink of water for more than 3 seconds! Long story short, that dog barked at everything...and nothing but the wind! Everytime I went to the gardens to water, weed, enjoy the beauty...I had to listen to it bark. It rattled my nerves to the core! DH and I have been to court 2 times already with this issue. The last time the neighbors had to pay a fine of $150 for disturbing the peace. I hope and pray we don't have to deal with the dog barking this year...Good Grief!

The last part is that the neighbors to the west of the "dog barking" neighbors are now supporting them...why? because they have a dog too. So now that guy lets his dog pee on our yard as it walks along the sidewalk.

So here we are looked upon as the "terrible" neighbors that hate animals! To everyone else, we hate cats, we hate dogs...Geeeessssh!
I love cats and dogs and so does my DH...we just don't appreciate unresponsible neighbors. Because we don't want poop in our yard from cats and dogs that aren't even ours, we are just terrible people according to everyone else in the neighborhood.

In conclusion, I'm sorry your neighbors have picked a place to live which isn't helpful for their child. They should have known better. I don't believe you/your garden is putting their child in danger. The situation is sad. Keep your garden intact and don't change a thing.
If they put their child 1st...and their child is that bad off, there are healthier places for that child to live. It's not your responsibility...so relax.

All of my spew is about neighbors that believe nobody else has any rights but them.
I wish our neighbors would leave to their own acreages...so their neighbors out in the country are far away to not have to deal with a crazy growing cat population and a dog that doesn't stop barking.
To be able to hear the birds chirp this Spring without being scared off and to garden without cat poop to scoop would be wonderful...
One can dream...

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This message was edited Feb 4, 2009 7:14 PM

Susan,
I do have great sympathy you for having to tolerate the barking of a Miniature Pincher...I have one of those adorable little guys and his bark goes thru me like a knife!! They do bark at anything and nothing. My will bark when the phone rings. Luckily we don't get many calls these days.

Cake frosting on his nose...He LOVES cake!

This message was edited Feb 4, 2009 8:13 PM

I feel for you too I'm blessed with great neighbors they help me a lot and love to come set on the deck or walk around the yard its the old fashion kind where every one knows every one and watches out for you when your home or go away the kid can play safe if theres a car or any one around thats not known some one will go ask who they are and what they want I love it here ;0)
Gloria

Susan

I really can emphatize with you on the cat situation. Because we always had horses, goats, sheep and chickens my mother always had a few barn cats around. They basically lived on their own nickle. If they didn't have the sense to catch the stray mouse or rat or whatever well... have you heard of natural selection? Some call it survival of the fittest. Kept down the rodent population and we only had one or two litters a year.

Then our neighbour decided it would be nice to have a few cats around just like my Mum. She fed them and put out nice little accomodations for them! OMG!!! Talk about a cat explosion! We had cats everywhere. You couldn't get in the car in the winter without banging on the hood because you'd have ground cat flying everywhere. They were ganging up an attacking the chickens. You couldn't leave food on the table because...you guessed it. Mummy was finally finished when she looked out the window and a chicken breast on the grill sprouted four furry legs and ran under the hydrangea.

She started putting out traps. She would haul the full traps to our vets office and spend the day doing vasectomies and hysterectomies. She soon came to the conclusion that it was more time efficient to just do the vasectomies. Everyweek she'd haul down a load of cats and snip snip. This went on all summer. With the winter kill off the neighbourhood cat problem was under control. The only breeding population were the few new kittens that hadn't gotten caught yet and they only managed a litter or two before she had them off to the vets.

Our neighbour never did figure out what was going on.

As to the min-pin. My heart bleeds for you. My mother's best friend used to breed the things.