Astrology

Subject: Astrology for Southerners

Okra Dec 22 - Jan 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside.
Okra's have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his
life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from
MoonPies.

Chitlin Jan 21 - Feb 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're
uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin,
however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty
of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful.
Chitlins can burn and then erupt like the ancient volcano, Vesuvius, and
this can make for a really terrible mess. Chitlins are best with Catfish
and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around. No, not with a
Moon Pie - stay away from them.

Boll Weevil Feb 20-Mar 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface
of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of
everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you
had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you,
not even a Moon Pie, so don't worry about it

Moon Pie Mar 21-April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a
cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round
are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get
remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might
be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not

Possum Apr 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency
to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it-attitude. Sometimes
you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This
strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for
you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems
actually running you over. No room in your life for Moon Pies.

Crawfish May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always
hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room.
You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very
very good heads. Keep a distance from Moon Pies.

Collards June 22-July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the
"melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those
around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and
baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are
Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a
lot of heartache - stay away from them.

Catfish July 24 - Aug 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one,
Whiskers, may cause problems for loved ones. Your catfish are never easy
people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface
of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits Aug 24 - Sept 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so
maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you
can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
Shun Moon Pies.

Boiled Peanuts Sept 24 - Oct 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately,
those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that
your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect
you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You
should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that
people will always pull over and stop for you. Except Moon Pies,
they'll run you over - stay away from them.

Butter Bean October 24 - Nov 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with
everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the
vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can
sit next to anybody. However, you too shouldn't have anything to do with
Moon Pies.

Armadillo Nov 23 - Dec 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually
quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots,
fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with
today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior
patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is
another somewhat kinky, mating possibility. Stay away from Moon Pies.

[ Removed by member request. - Admin ]

I've been called a lot of things, but this is a first for butter bean.

Sharon

Ooooh! I can't wait to hear what the moon pie people have to say about this ... Even though mine isn't too flattering either. A boll weevil?? At least Elizabeth Taylor was one too.

Hmmm... I go from being a crab to collards... which is better, I'm thinking? hhehehe

Hahahaha!! Not a southerner but.... looks like I'm an okra! And I know some of those moon pies.

Removed by member request

I go from being a bull to a possum, don't know if that is an improvement or not. Although their is some truth that rings through. Oh, my ex-husband is a moonpie, you notice I wrote EX. My husband now of 18 years is a sweetie and not a moonpie. That is too, cute.

Debby,

Ya'll know the difference between northern possums and southern possums?

Southern possums are born dead by the side of the road! :>)