Parents love and respect your children

Something just happen here that really made me stop and think. A teenage boy 16 or 17 took a short cut down our dirt road to get home from football practice. My dog ran in front of him and he hit her and put the car in the ditch. He managed to get it out of the ditch. Both he and the dog are fine. Some minor damage to the car. The boy comes and tells us what has happened and we try and comfort him. He uses our cell phone to call his mother and we could hear her screaming at him across the yard. He had been told not to go down the dirt roads because they are narrow and bumpy. She never asked are you ok. Only how is the car. She screams at him that he is grounded , no more football, no nothing. We , me and hubby, could not believe her reaction. My daughter knows this kid and he makes good grades and loves football. She , his mother, threatens him and says his dad will beat his .... The child started crying and I felt so terrible for him. We only have our children home with us for a few short years. We teach them by our example. If only this mother would have reached out to her son a bond for life would have been formed. Instead both she and his dad put fear of telling the truth and fear of doing the right thing in him. I just had to write about this because it upset me so. My daughter will be driving soon and I hope if something like this happens to her I will react totally different. Yes he did disobey by going down the dirt road but he did not try and hide what he had done and was ready to admit his wrong. His parents have now put a fear in him that will last a long time. Please love and respect your children.

Oh, how awful for this boy, and how awkward for all of you within earshot. Thanks for the reminder that while our children do need discipline, it needs to always be done in love. Which also means that as they mature, we respect that they are young adults, and they are learning firsthand from us how to react to stress. Or in some cases, hopefully taking notes on what NOT to do.

Something close to that happened to a friend of mine when we were very young fell he on his dirt bike minor injuries to both he and the bike. He was afraid to go home so I brought him to my house mom cleaned his skinned knees and iced his brused chin. Then drove him home. I remember the shock both my mom and I felt when the first words she screamed at him were "you better not be bleading on that carpet in there" It was a lesson in parenting I have never forgotten and hope I never will. He is still a friend and still feels more at home with my mom then his. His mom has no idea what she is missing.

there is no better way to say it so I will quote JCF "Please love and respect your children"

This message was edited Tuesday, Jul 24th 11:42 PM

My heart goes out to those children and the countless others who are subjected to home environments such as those. People like that should not even be called parents
sandy

Janet

I have seen and heard this sort of thing from parents we know, and it is the hardest thing to understand the reaction of some parents. Why is it always the material things that seem to be so precious.
I feel sorry for the young man but even more for the parents, he will move on and his parents will be left with empty hearts. Very sad in deed
Mike

Never take your children for granted. Take time everyday to tell them that you love them. Make sure that they know you mean it from the very depths of heart and soul. You never know when they will be gone.

My heart truly goes out to this young man.

Sharon

How did you hear all that if he was on the phone? Did he give you his version of what happened and that is what you are reporting? Sounds like a reaction after a traumatic event *may* not be completely accurate.

I received this in an email yesterday and it grabbed my heartstrings. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this in the past, so had to call my daughter and apologize for losing my patience when she was a child.....

I ran into a stranger as he passed by. "Oh excuse me please" was my reply. He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you." We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told, how we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, my son stood beside me very still. When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown. He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said, "While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the children you love, you seem to abuse. Go look on the kitchen floor, you'll find some flowers there by the door." "Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself; pink yellow and blue.He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, and you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, and now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said. "Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em out by the tree." "I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue." I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway. I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

I understand all that has been said so far on this thread and my heart aches for any child that is mistreated, ignored etc., but I have to point out something to you. I was shopping and noticed a mother with three children. The baby was in the stroller and the other two were walking beside her. They then stood by the kerbside to cross the road, waiting for the signal to walk. Without any warning the little boy just started to run across the road. The mother screamed at him and he ran back to her. Thank God there were no cars on the crossing at this time. When he was back safely at her side she shouted at him telling him what a stupid thing he had done. Now this was surely not the way to go about it, but it was her shock and fear that made her react this way and a similar instance occured with me although I did hold my child to me and hugged her tightly. It is the release of highly charged emotions thinking of the horror that could have been.

Iwas standing beside him and his mother was screaming so loud at him that I could hear every word she said. When his dad arived my husband was right there and he heard for himself everything that was said.

I would not have been concern had I not of heard this with my own ears.!!!!!!!!1

Wow...must have been screaming every word on the phone for you to hear every word. Interesting.

SHE WAS!!!!!! why are you being so defensive? I don't understand. All I have been saying is true or else I would not have written it.

I would call the woman up and tell her exactly what you told us. We're just strangers here, but your intervention now might make a difference in that boy's life. I would not give a hoot what she thought of me, it's the boy that needs help. He's an at risk child and you CAN save him from worse by taking time to make that call. All the time you took to write the post and responses is less than the time it takes for a quiet conversation. That woman may not be aware that's she damaging her boys psyche.

Poojer

jcf: Probably sansman doesn't understand the phenomenon of how loudly some cell phones transmit sound. I have had the experience many, many times of sitting next to my husband while he took a call and being able to hear every word the caller was saying. It's easy to see how this would have been magnified in your situation if the caller was yelling in anger.

Thank you Amaeyllisgal.