WISE PROVERBS

Okay, you all, I know and have all read all your wisdom, so I thought I'd add a few more! LOL! Enjoy! =:0)

Wise Proverbs
1)If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2)Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3)Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away -- and barefoot.
4)Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
5)Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6)A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
7)A closed mouth gathers no foot. ( this is especially for me!)
8)If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
9)My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10)Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
11)It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
12)I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
13)For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
14)If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
15)Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
16)Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
17)A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
18)Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
19)Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
20)No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
21)A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
22)Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
23)Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
24)Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
25)There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
26)Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
27)By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
28)Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
29)Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
30)I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
31)Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Jeanne! (JSS)

Thanks - really enjoyed these.

My favorites:

3)Before you criticize someone,
walk a mile in his shoes. That way,
if he gets angry, he'll be a mile
away -- and barefoot.

and

21)A balanced diet is a cookie in
each hand.

Oh JSS, you had me in stitches....they are all so great, but I really like the one about beating a path to the door while in the bathroom.....ain't it just so! SROFL!

Jerrie
=o}

>>9)My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Hey! that will be my new motto!! These are great..

Glad you all have enjoyed them! I always hesitate in posting these things- but I really thought these were a riot! I relly like the closed mouth one and the experience one!
JSS =:0)

Thanks JSS,sooo funny LOL Like the one of "no husband getting shot from doing dishes,this hits home,Bigtime'

We are, what I call, in Pre-Retirement Training,ha,ha'Any tips for me?????? Someone said,ya can't teach a old dog,new tricks,I wanna know why?????HELLLLLPPPP'''Sis'''

Sis when you find the answer let me know I need it to train my wife.Mike

LOL! All these are too good! I'll be saying to dh "I won't shoot you for doing the dishes"! LOL!
A not so funny one but a true one: eat well,stay fit and die anyway. Lots of young folks jogging,in athletes or whatever kill over from a heart attack[sad but true].
And this one:Sweeping the floor with a glance. Yep! I do that often from here, sitting and typing away on puter.I'd raher be online!....Jane

LOL these are great I love them all.. can't pick a favorite. And really needed them today. I have one that I have been using alot lately: You don't get too old to play you get old when you stop playing.