A bit of contemplation ...

Howdy folks …

The ol Coot and I are giving much serious consideration to taking somewhat of a hiatus from DG.

I do utilize my God granted right to earnestly request, via this medium .. that if there are any of you .. that may would like or care to stay in touch with either of us .. to, please, relay your email address .. via the DG-mail. You may be assured that I will answer, with which will display my email address, to you. My fervent prayer, is that there will be some that may care to reciprocate and/or respond.

There has not been any DG member or subscriber populace that has made or said expressly .. that even remotely begins to factor into the equation of our ’still contemplating’ considerations …

No matter what either of our decisions will be – there remains several items of great moral and ethical significance, that certainly need to be addressed and attended to, most promptly. For it is truly, very long overdue ...

In an attempt to refrain from any further inconsequential ramblings … These, are of utmost importance for me …

-I-
On another thread .. I’d given my apologies to some of those folks that apparently (and, in retrospect: understandably) .. had considered my genuine concerns for [their] quitting smoking - as blatant personal attacks. It appears that there have been no one that has considered posting any such response of their acceptance of my apology .. either in the forums or by private DG-mail. I was presented a created ‘smiley’ from Darius, in that same thread .. but, no connotation of acceptance of my apology. So, again, and hopefully more visibly - I offer my humble apologies.

-II-
Also, on yet another thread .. (and very early in my membership here) .. I pretty much chewed and bickered, rather ruthlessly .. to gardenwife and zanymuse. Altho’ I will state, that I still feel that that computer jokes and such carrying-on had a place reserved - I was indeed, unreasonably hard on you guys. There were others .. some of which made their unexpected apologies to me, for their respect towards my feelings about the matter .. which was, that such wasn’t nice, and that I wouldn’t have desired any of my grandchildren risking seeing such ‘fun being made’ of honest folks learning their computers and systems.

I’ve certainly been in such positions .. and still run into some incidents that I cannot account for, and truly feel badly when others attempt to make such light of me and my related inquiries. There is one that I certainly cannot feel any further remorse in my abstaining from making any apology .. for their ever present vindictiveness, is perhaps what some may consider to be my ‘just rewards’. I digress ..

There was another one or two folks, of which I cannot remember their ‘names’ that were associated .. and once more, I can only apologize for my failure. Zanymuse, I’d noticed where you’d posted on your blog about the offending encounter.. and had long contemplated offering my apologies to you there. However, my feelings of there being somewhat of a distortion in the truth (unless I am again appallingly mistaken) .. I continued to back out of doing so. But, in light of it being your personal blog and many of us have our own versions of what and how truth is interpreted .. I do, still very much desire to convey my apologies to you. Gardenwife & Zanymuse .. I ask that you please, consider accepting my sincere apologies for ‘speaking’ to you in the way that I did. You were not deserving of such verbal abuse from me. I pray that you will somehow find it in your heart to forgive my atrocity.

-III-
MiniSchnuz .. although there is still so much that remains far beyond my capabilities of comprehension of the fine demarcation between being meak and humble .. I do sincerely feel, that I owe you an apology .. for my questioning your motives, rather publicly, in your thread. It was rude, inappropriate, and rather callous of me. I do hope that you will consider forgiving my inept indiscretion.

-IV-
Dave .. I mite add, that the context of this particular post and comments .. are, in NO way to be misconstrued as any retaliation for any thing or any reason toward you or the DG adminstrators .. nor, am I challenging your ownership, authority, and sovereign rule on this site.

Being the sole purpose of my heartfelt compulsion to offer penitence .. and, given that I had publicly abused some of my fellow DGers ... hence, necessitating my sincere desire to do so, in likewise form – publicly.

-V-
With much optimism and exhaustive hope, that this thread and my post will be interpreted as it is genuinely intended, and will be allowed to remain – I, however, have no idea how Dave, the administration, and/or any others may possibly construe my message and my apologies. Perhaps tis a small component of the rationale in my requesting your email addresses outside of the DG garden wall ..

Do wish to state, that I’ve not ever anticipated being, nor secured high hopes of being a ‘boil on the behind’ of the humanity and haven of Dave and the DG Administration at any time ..

Believe Dave had posted, that there are only two weeks remaining in the photo contest. For the submissions phase, I’m assuming .. So, Happy ‘shutterbuggin’ to all of you !

Truly do think the world of a mitey big bunch of you gardening 'goobernauts' ..

((huggerooners))

- Magpye

I shall make no further posts or replies here, on this thread, other than that of our decision .. for the benefit of any of you that may be so interested.

Magpie, in the spirit of "first they came for the... but I was not a.... so I said nothing" let me say that I would be very sorry to see you go. I have been very dismayed by the strong aroma of McCarthyism wafting around certain parts of this forum of late, with members leaving/ being forced out; while the rumour mongerers bask in glory.

As to your mea culpa; I know less than nothing about most of the issues you are apologizing for; the only direct feedback I can give you is that sometimes I don't read all your posts all the way through, being irritated by the style; but people felt that way about James Joyce!!!!! and its a big world.

Surely here on Dave's garden we should be willing to "let a thousan flowers bloom" instead of planting socially approved marigolds (no slight intended to tagetes) in straight rows.
Marian

Allow me to wish you well in your way onwards, Mags, in respect to the apologies above.

This, indeed, is not a place for anger, grudges, judgements or assumptions.

Too often, in my own life struggle over the last year, I have had withdrawl from DG because of your issues and Mini and Darius and I (if only passively, in some cases for me) never expected nor wished what we received.

Without the country talk- let me tell you what DG did for me:

I am an artist living 1500 miles away from family and my only sibling died at 40 2 years ago. He left me a legacy of sorts. Sad parents, sad soul, some money and a need to be unconditional.

Tomatoes became my life and DG became my force. As wills and trusts were revealed, I wanted to be better, less sad. Wanted to quit smoking. I wanted to help others, no questions asked. I wanted to hear stories to make me feel not so far from home.

Everytime I tuned in to DG on too many threads, I had to grow and learn to just ignore and forget trying to be unconditional because there was Mini and Darius (and I actually ) being attacked with insincere, passive aggressive Arkansas patois.

I have no problem telling you, Magpye, that you hurt me and I cannot speak for others but you were hurtful to others as well.

That said, and I do mean this sincerely as you seem to be on another path now:

Be well wherever you may grow.

Bye with my best,

Daisy

I'm new, so don't know anything about anything. But I'd like to tell you before you go that I've viewed most of your photos, especially the butterflies, with great joy. You have left an indelible impression on me, and I'm glad I got here before you left.

Magpye

i wish you all the best and hope you decide to come back to Daves as it will be a loss if you dont.

i usually stay on the sidelines now to stay out of trouble. as i have been in it too.


i know we havent gotten to know each other well but look at the beautiful pics with envy that i cant take one as good as you. i will miss those and hopefully if you decide to come back get to know you better.

i dont know what happened and but at least you are owning up to it and showing courage by doing so in my opinion.

blessings Marie

Years ago, when Dave's was just in it's infancy and some of the.... ahem.... STRONGER... personalities were starting to emerge, I suggested that it would be a good idea to have an "Ignore this user" feature. Because we all have things (and people) who push our buttons, I thought it might be a good thing to be able to block those people out. I had seen this on other mailing lists, newgroups and websites, and it seemed to work like a charm.

Some thought it was a good idea, others were stridently against it, but Dave said because of the way this website was structured that it just wasn't possible.

In the grand scheme of things, as so often happens, NOT having an "Ignore this User" feature looks as though it may have been the better circumstance because if forces us to look at OURSELVES.

We forget that we don't always have to post what we are thinking. We don't have to read the posts of those folks who push our buttons. We don't have to respond to those difficult souls who seem the happiest when they are sowing discord. We can sit on our hands, type up a post and never send it, just move on to another post, or push away from the computer and rant and rave to the cat, but we DON'T have to respond to anything here.

I won't go into detail, but I had to learn this the hard way too. And it always helps me to remember that, in the long run, no one really cares what I think anyway . :-)

Magpye, DON'T GO ! !
Others before me on this thread said it better than I could but let me add. I'm fairly new at this type of interaction and initially was set back by the unexpected responses to my posts (on other sites). There is one site where I was called all kinds of unpleasant things and I almost left. But I wasn't going to let the other guy push me out, now I just ignore all his posts. I simply ignore him/them.
I don't know what the problem was but just set it aside and by-pass the irritating factions.
I've enjoyed your posts and pics, and would miss you.
Andy P

Dear Magpye,

I think I've mostly bumped into you around threads in the Dave's Garden Forum where one or both of us were suggesting a feature, and were generally promoting the same things. GMTA, eh? ;-)

*GMTA - Great Minds Think Alike*

That being said, I must admit to lurking in all sorts of Forums and threads that catch my eye. So I see you here and there, while I read and absorb all that is presented within any given thread without always adding a comment of my own.

I caught a bit of the uncomfortable vibes some time back amongst folks in the Healthy Living threads about smoking and the cessation of that. It's always a passionate subject amongst those who care for the longevity of those they care about!

I've also seen a lot of encouragement and atta-boys for folks in areas from mastering the next level of computer skills to those of photography and in using the related equipment and software.

I suppose I should also comment on your choice of dialect in some posts, to make this complete. *grin* Okay, it reminds me a lot of being raised and growing up in SW Missouri. Sometimes it truly grates on my nerves, and at other times, it's like, okay.

Kinda like some of my relatives. :)

It seems that you're not getting the right level of exchange for your time and contributions on here. I believe that you have skills and ability that already have, and could continue to, benefit all of us here in this DG community.

I hope you will find that the exchange is worth sticking around a bit longer.

Warm regards,
Donna

Yeah, what Donna just said! LOL

Donna, you rock! You really should pipe up more often. :)

Donna, you touched on something important that we seem to forget.

It's like a big family here on DG and just like familys not everyone thinks alike. But unlike familys, we can pick and choose who we wish to listen to, who we wish to communicate with, also who we wish to ignore.

In this domain we cannot catch the facial and body language that goes with the words so oftentimes those words can be misconstrued. The use of smileys, etc. are often effective to lighten up the written word.

IMHO, better to move on to another forum when one feels uncomfortable or angry with the one they're in.

Joan ;•)

Magpye, I think your attempt to rectify some situations is to be commended. Please consider that it maybe difficult for some to reciprocate, but does not mean you cannot continue here. Sometimes personalities or passions don't make a good match and maybe there is a time to learn this and just let it go. I have seen some of your posts around and am not familiar with any of the things you have noted in your post. If there are areas (forums) in which you are particularly passionate and find yourself in trouble, perhaps it is just time to take those forums off your favorites list for awhile (a hiatus). I get the impression that you do in fact have much to offer to the DG Family, that you personally value DG, and hope you will not *throw out the baby with the bathwater*. IMHO Maridell

I don't know what happened but i will miss your rambling prose
I am a smoker and if you jumped me good for you 1,
if i did not heed your advice it s called free will .
live and let live
Come back share your humor and maybe think twice before you say ant thing that might hurt , of course there are some that a BOO would send in to heart flutters .I am me you are you ,
be yourself , try hard not to hurt anyone else because of what you believe .
lets make each other laugh and share good things about our gardens .

Hi Magpye - I don't know anything of any of the events above, but please consider staying. You've made a lot of friends and influenced a lot of people.

Ironically enough I was one to comment on the (lack of) ease of reading colloquialisms on your other thread, but your opening thread was so inspired and heartfelt, that it shows so much thought and feeling.

Cripes - while this site can can be a bit cliquish, there is truly a lot of warmth and caring between people - every workplace, clan, website, environment has an inner circle, people that get along, people that don't. As with other things, if we don't like what we read, we can choose to ignore.

But, it's the tapestry of the different textures and personalities that add warmth, spice and diversity. If this were ever reduced to a single homogeneous "always yes" environment, it would become quite boring.