Protective Or Jealous Pet - What's Your Vote?

My fiance and I have agreed that your votes here will settle our discussion we have about our 7 month old border collie, named Misty Morning. She does not like to see any type of physical contact between us. If we sit on the couch together, she will jump and try to wedge her way between us. If he hugs and kisses me, she jumps and tries to playfully nip him or will jump and bark. I say she's protecting her mommy and he says she's jealous of her daddy.

Some background info to help you with your vote:
I brought Misty home when she was 7 weeks old. Since she cried at night while getting adjusted, I'd take her out to the couch with me so my fiance could get some sleep. He played with her every evening when he got home, but if she was scared she would run to me.
After 4 weeks had passed, I had to go out of town for a job that lasted 8 weeks, and I could only come home for one day per week. Misty was excited to see me and wouldn't leave my side for about 30 minutes. In the meantime my fiance cared for her, as well as ensuring she had a minimum of at least an hour of "outside playtime" which doesn't include the playtime inside too.
Now that I've been home 24/7, she only sleeps next to me on the bed. To give my fiance credit, when he has to work overtime, she has on several occasions, watched out the window (I taught her the daddy word)until he came home. Once he gets home, she lets her playmate know she's so happy that he's home and almost ignores me.
I'm admitting ahead of time that she is spoiled rotten, but who's dog is this????

ROFLOL! She does not belong to either of you...You both belong to HER! She is wedging herself between you for more attention and it sounds like she has decided it is a game. As for sleeping...that is easy she feels safer sleeping by you either because of her puppy time or because you move less in your sleep. These Border collies are very smart and know how to make their people do what they want! Our Sheltie plays these "games" on us too!

i know with my cats they seem to get jealous the most when its involving my bf, he's the one that feeds them most of the time so i think they see him as the 'leader of the pack'. Dogs are the same, so i think your dog is being jealous, because your husband is seen as the 'alpha male'.

lil

Border collies are working dogs - they are both herders and protectors of their flock or herd and they do this even in their sleep! We have been raising them for 14 years now and they have the problem solving abilities of an intelligent 12 year old human (that's not me talking, that's a full blown scientific study in the UK) and the intensity of personality that would make them great dictators! Many Border Collies seem to exhibit the "one man dog" syndrome, but I don't think your's is doing that. They are very easy to spoil, and need a LOT of discipline and activity. You need to be training her now if you want to have a loving happy dog. I'm not neccesarily talking about obedience classes or anything intense, but just plain mannerliness. And remember that Border Collies are VERY sensitive to discipline. Stan's brother had one that was chasing heifers as a way to keep herself busy during the day. He was rather hard on her and later when he needed her to chase the heifers, she wouldn't go near them! You walk a thin line with these dogs, but when you find the middle ground you will have a wonderful companion!

I have a five year old rottwieler and a nine month old border collie. Brandy, the rottwieler, has always been(and still is) very attached to me. She sits next to me in the truck and sits next to me on the garden benches. If my wife tries to sit down on the bench, Brandy runs and bulldozes her way into position next to me. If my wife gives me a hug, Brandy uses her nose to pry us apart. I'd call it jealousy. Same in your case. Surprisingly, she loves Buddy, the border collie, and wrestles with him endlessly. He definately has made it clear that he is my dog. He lays on top of me and follows me everwhere. If someone else, in the family, calls Buddy away, but he sees me, he goes with me. Also very surprisingly, Brandy has no problem with this. She will, once in a while, push him out of the way for prime scratching position next to me. But, as a whole, she has no problem with him. She's never growled once at him. He is a character though. He loves riding on the four wheeler, tractor and backhoe. I think he is pretty close at figuring out how to drive them himself!LOL

These stories are the best. I have seen dogs who will take to other people more than others. It happens all the time. I have a pot bellied pig (named "Miss Daisy Mae") and she only likes me and my hubby. If anyone else comes around she will charge them and act as if she's gonna bite. She is very territorial, with the exception of a few birds and wild rabbits, the back yard is hers and hers alone.

Misty Morning sounds like a very loving little pooch. She likes attention from each one of you and she can't decided which she wants it from the most. Once she gets older she will calm down and she will love you both equally. Aren't pets the best?

After meeting my neighbor's border collie, Tuck, I don't consider them dogs at all anymore - more like fuzzy people. I've never seen any other dog breed show such intelligence. (Not knockin' my cockers, I still prefer dumb and sweet to intelligent!) What I do understand of them is that they like to have things in order - their order! LOL...I've seen Tuck try to 'herd' birds...a scocer ball, kids walking down the street...you name it. I don't think your pup is jealous at all, she just wants to be a part of the lovin' too. She sounds like a wonderful dog!

Susan28x, we have a potbellied pig too, named Pokey. He doesn't take to strangers mainly cause he has very poor eyesight and identifies each of us by sniffing at us. When he gets wind of a strange person, he gets scared. The Pokeman (or Porkman, as I affectionately call him) let Buddy know early on that he was not going to be herded around by any DOG!~LOL.

Just sounds to me that she prefers you both give her the attention rather than give it to each other. She knows she is #1

Carol, Misty Morning sounds like a wonderful girl with loving parents...you all belong to each other! I think it's only natural that she's protective of you since you bonded so closely when she was very young. Border collies are so intelligent, and fortunately, they usually want to please you. Try this: when you and your fiance are affectionate, ask Misty to "sit" or "down". Snuggle with your fiance briefly while she sits, and then praise her and give her a reward (hugs, a treat, throw a toy, whatever). This gives her an important job to do while you're snuggling (sit and wait politely) and lets her know that she'll get attention if she does a good job. You should be able to increase the length of your uninterrupted snuggling sessions in short order. :)

Q: How many border collies does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. And she'll rewire anything that's not up to code.

1 Border Collie and her human - she'll give the instructions to the human until he does it right!

Essensia & Kathleen - good ones - lol! We have a very smart border collie - greatest help with our sheep. However, I wonder about her intelligence when we have found her in the bull pen teasing him by chasing his tail.

Carol7 sounds to me like you and hubby are jealous of little Misty Morning attention to each other lol. I love the story, it sounds like my Bittles (Siamese Cat) She doesn't want me to pet or play with our Tiger cat Ms Kitty Fuzz. Bittles will jump up on the couch and nudge her face into mine until I pay her attention, and Ms Kitty Fuzz will just leave. Your were right when you said we have spoild our pets, only I have two brat cats. >^..^< meow!!!

Jewel, we found Sid, our much lamented deceased old Border Collie, hanging from a cow's tail by his teeth when he was about 12 weeks old. Heaven only knows how long he'd been been there - he couldn't get his little teeth untangle from the switch and the cow could swing the tail enough to dislodge him. He was most happy to see me!

Wow! Thanks for all of your wonderful posts! I got alot of great info as well as quite a few laughs. Misty isn't my first border collie, so I had an idea of what I'd be getting into again. Sixteen years ago I had adopted a border collie pup named Oscar, now deceased, and he turned me into a border collie fan. Although I have so many funny stories about his antics, I'd like to share this one with you...
My ex and I were stationed in California, and lived in base housing. We were on the second floor and had a balcony. The neighbors downstairs had a patio area and one day our neighbor, (who just had moved in), was watering the grass border around the concrete when he thought he felt a few sprinkles. He disregarded it and felt a few more sprinkles. He told us he looked up and saw this big black dog with his leg lifted. Taking his hose, he sent a few sprinkles up, laughed and said "I'll just sprinkle you too!". I guess Oscar didn't like being sprinkled on much because he decided to pee all over the man! LOL! One of the major challenges of my life was keeping a straight face when he told us what had happened! Moral of this story: Don't sprinkle a border collie from below if you don't want to get rained on! ;o)

Hi!

We have a 95 lb. pit bull/rottie mix who definately thinks she is a human. She is a sweet sweet dog who loves to be in the middle of the action, and the center of attention and affection. Because of her size, it is important that she is constantly reminded that she is a dog.

The advice from essensia was EXCELLENT! It sounds to me like Misty believes she is the Alpha dog in your house.

It is important, especially with intelligent and strong-willed dogs to constantly reinforce your position as alpha in the household. Particularly as a puppy. What may seem cute now (barking, nipping, licking, jumping up), as an adult dog will become annoying, potentially harmful (nipping can become biting) and much more difficult to deal with.

Some tips to re-establish your status as the alpha dog:
Have her sleep on the floor. If you like having her near you at night, try a blanket on the floor next to you. Give her a firm "OFF" when she tries jumping up on the sofa/bed when you don't want her there. When she gets off, praise her. The effect of you being physically higher than her will reinforce that you are the alpha.

Always go through the door first. In a wild pack of dogs, the alpha dog will always go through a small opening ahead of the rest of the pack. If you notice that whenever you open the door to let the dog out that she rushes ahead of you, she believes she is leading you. You can teach her the "wait" command. Every time you come to the door to go out, tell her to wait. When you open the door, hold her leash back so that you leave first. She should wait inside until you give your release command (we use "okay"). Make sure you give her plenty of praise when she follows you instead of barging ahead. Very soon she will get the idea that you are leading the way, and you won't HAVE to use the wait command, OR the leash.

good luck!

-plant girl, eternal dog lover. :)

Interesting ideas. I'm not sure either way, it seems to me that she is a little bit jealous and a little bit protective.

I've worked with a couple of working border collies and can vouch for their intelligence and quick thinking. One particular collie couldn't understand my commands as she was taught and worked by one man for 2 years, so we got round it by me pointing/circling my arm the way she was to go and I always had to stand where she had to herd the sheep. She never did learn my voice commands but we got by.

One of my great friends was also a border collie, although she lived on the farm she was a pet. She had always been her owners dog but took to me very quickly and would accompany me everywhere. Everyone knew if I was just around the corner as she would be 10 ft in front. It was her owners that became jealous LOL. She divided her time between my working day and when I went to say good night to my bosses she would leave me and spend all her attention on them. On my days off she became her owners dog again.

She really wanted to work and would cause an almighty nuisence of herself with the sheep but eventually we worked out a plan between us which allowed her to work with me herding chickens and cattle. The sheep got out into the public picnic area of the farm one day and I was called out to put thm back in their paddock, the dog was keeping them huddled and then splitting them causing great amusement to the public and a massive headache to me. Since I couldn't curse at her due to the children I decided to shout in my own dialect (Staffordshire is a very strong harsh accent) just in case I forgot where I was. We did get the sheep back into the paddock and many visitors came and said what a wonderful show it was. Feeling quite pleased with myself, I saw a group of 3 families comig towards me. The father of one family was laughing as he came up and said to me in a strong Staffordshire accent, I always wondered what the whistles meant, I never thought it was cursing!!! OOOPPPPSSSSS didn't I blush at that one.

Plant Girl is totally right about the bed. But if you're a wimp like me and you don't have the heart to banish the dog from the bed entirely, try this: once every few times that you find the dog on the bed, ask her to get off, then give her lots of praise. As a result, my dog understands that she's allowed on the bed solely because I, The Benevolent Alpha, haven't asked her to leave yet.

Now I've strayed off-topic, but I want to share some wise words from the trainer who helped me raise my dog: the alpha dog is not necessarily the strongest dog or the meanest dog. It's the smartest dog and the best leader, using mostly vocal and facial cues before resorting to "muscle". When you establish this relationship, it's amazing what you and your dog can do. (We're still working on it, and having a grand time. :))

I have a 4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier, named Gunner. He is a cupcake, and the love of our lives. All dogs show "pack" behavior, you must teach them thier order in the pack, but as much as I love Gunner he prefers my husband (guy thing) he also knows that when my husband and I are affectionate or are playing he cann't wedge himself in, unless invited. Border Collies and Pit Bulls are alot alike they need ALOT of intellectual stimulation and physical activity, I highly recomend obedience training and not just the basics but the advanced classes that work toward a certification like the Canine Good Citizen Award, or Certified Visiting Dog (St Francis Award) for nursing homes and hospices, Search and Rescue is fun too and offers much in the way of intellectual stimulation. Good Luck!

Sounds like she has it made. My vote goes to both of you, she seems to be a member of your family and thats the way with pets. Good start to a new relationship! All the best.Tr
ying to set an example for my "BRAND NEW JACK RUSSEL" talk about haywire. OH MY POOR GARDEN I WISH I KNEW THEY WERE DIGGERS BEFORE I AGREED TO SAVE HIS HIDE. Oh well things grow back(:

Reading this thread gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "lucky dog". I love reading all of your posts...what a great collection of dogs and their people. Carol, it sure sounds like you, Misty Morning, and your fiance have many happy years ahead of you!

Your posts reminded me of our first border collie - shouldn't even talk about her as I get a lump in my throat. My husband went to a friend's farm. He came back to his pickup and there was a very tiny border collie pup waiting for him on his seat. The owner who raised prize winning border collies told him it was a present for my dd. He couldn't sell it as it was a litter reject and very small for its age. DD named her Jenny and she immediately took to my dd. We were amazed how intelligent she was. Dh picked her up and lifted her over the fence and said over. After that when we said over she would jump fences. She was wonderful working with our sheep with very few commands and her best award was a pat on the head and verbal praise. On a few occaisions she ran down our driveway chasing after a car, especially if dd was in the car and dh gave her a stern chewing out. After that, she never ran past our barn (about half way up our driveway.) She was the best guardian of our dd. DD would walk to the bus and Jenny would lay about half way down the driveway waiting for the bus to pick up dd and when the bus picked her up she came back to the house. I know that if somebody tried to to something to dd, Jenny would have let me know. When dh left our place, she went into a protective mode. In fact we had to watch her because she almost became fierce. She never acted this way when dh was on the place. Unfortunately, she had one downfall and that was she would chase UPS trucks and the UPS truck hit her and killed her. She never chased any other vehicles.

Kathleen I lol at your dog chasing tail story.

LOL Carol - so WHAT DO YOU THINK then?

Wonderful stories. I love to talk to other dog people. And you guys are also plant people--what a perfect combination! A little off topic, but I get tired of my friends who don't have dogs giving me strange looks when I talk about the "boys" or the "kids." They think I'm crazy to brush their teeth, or help my chubby cairn terrier off the bed in the morning so he doesn't hurt himself jumping down, or changing their collars every six months becuase they "need a change of pace," or NEVER traveling for pleasure without finding a dog friendly B&B, or...well you get the picture.

On topic, I think it is jealousy--craving the attention as so many have said. My West Highland Terrier does this when my partner and I are together on the sofa. He has to wedge himself between or on top of us. But he only barks at my SO when he raises his voice or pretends to fight.

I think the alpha dogs comments were interesting. I would add another thought to this. My Westie is the alpha--I have two males (cairn and westie) and a female Boston Terrier. The cairn is by far the smarter, the westie is not in any way "mean," the westie is smaller, but the westie is alpha. It's a personality thing, not meanness but "attitude." He definitely is a "cocky" little guy that thrives on his role in the household.

My best to all--two-legged and four-legged!

Sansman, you're in good company...I think you'd be crazy NOT to do all those things with your "kids"! My dog and cat are "the kids", sisters to be specific. "Where's your sister this morning?" "Be nice to your sister, now." Completely silly, but we have fun.

We travel in a big camper van that has all the comforts for me (bathroom, generator, tv, kitchenette) so that they have a home away from home. Before I had a dog, the idea of RVing was totally absurd. Now it's the only way to go, and I won't mind if I never see another hotel room. And you meet lots of other dog people.

Carol, apologies for going off-topic. As a fellow dog person, I hope you understand. :)

essensia, i agree, my two cats are me and my bf's 'children', when one's hungry i'll tell him "hey, your daughter's hungry" and he'll go and open a tin of food! Aren't cats the fussiest! they turned down salmon once, but tormented me silly when i was peeling prawns last night!

My black cat, squeaky has a string fetish at the mo, she sits and your feet and wont leave you alone until you dangle the string in front of her! we tried tying toy mice on the end, but she likes the string the best!

Apologies btw to all the dog people!!

lil

The dog's jealous.

Lillith one of my cats, the youngest (12) has been crazy about string ever since he was born. It's not just any old string. It has to be a black shoe lace. He carried it around when he was a kitten and he is still carrying it around - not the same shoe lace - we do renew now and again...lol!!

Thank you all again for your thoughtful posts. It is so amazing to see how much knowledge you can gain for our furry children from our fellow gardening friends. I loved all the stories that you shared and I wish we had a pet forum here.

Misty update... Thanks to all of you for your advice - Misty will not jump up anymore until asked, but sits and barks showing her displeasure??? I figure that after a little more training/rewarding she will be okay. She understands the word stay and will sit while we walk out the door. The hallway is a different story - it is 18 ft long and she always has to be in front and if I stop along the way she will stop and turn her head waiting for me to follow.

She has picked up a new bad habit recently - she chases birds, rabbits and squirrels. Maybe it was our fault, one day she saw a turkey buzzard and they spent 10 minutes just looking at each other,(so cute, I wish I had a camera ready), and once I walked outside it flew into the tree - she treed it - and now she has been chasing everything ever since.

I think another difference may be that we train her different things. I teach her the basics - sit, stay, heel, and etc. He teaches her the fun things like big smile and Elvis (lift one lip up). He is also starting to train her for flyball. She already understands on your mark, get set, go! She looks forward to this playtime every evening.

I would love for her to learn search and rescue. I had not considered that option before. Maybe I should check into it instead of flyball. She sure is curious enough.

As for Oscar and his incident with the neighbor, I was very lucky the neighbor loved dogs and eventually found humor in the situation too. I only wish I had a video camera back then, it was the era when you could get big bucks for submitting a great home video - I would have definitely submitted it.

Misty is also a digger. Luckily, I put up posts with string for makeshift a fence around all of the gardens a few months ago to show her what was off limits. I have taken them down and she knows now that is a big no no.

Thanks again for all of your advice. There are a few more posts I would like to address, but my mom has been in the hospital for the past 10 days and it has a bit hectic. I already feel bad for being this late responding back. You all are the best!
Carol