Clare, I'm SO sorry for your loss (((((HUGS))))).
New Photo Thread is here:
Thank you so much, everyone, for your lovely words which are very comforting to me. I dug a big hole in the backyard today and was going to make a memorial and plant a brug on top, but my husband said it wasn't deep enough and the ground was really hard so we elected to have the vet bury her. I've never seen a dog die before, and she went right in front of us, and it was really, really hard for us, but she went very quickly and peacefully. Hubby thinks now that she might have had an aneurysm. She was very healthy up to six days before she died. She just stopped eating and in the last two days couldn't get herself up to go potty.
I really feel bad burdening everyone with this problem of mine, but you have all been very kind, and I really appreciate your friendship. My husband and I don't have kids. Our Duke and Duchess and Madam are our kids so this has really leveled a blow to me. It does feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. I will definitely miss her following me around the garden, and I will miss her sweet face.
Thanks again, everyone, for your thoughtfulness. I just need to grieve for a while. You are right that she won't be forgotten.
Hugs,
Clare
This picture was the last one I took of her on December 15. Duke wants to know where his little sister went!
even though we are basically strangers at first, you should never feel that you are burdening anyone by sharing your loss. that's what stops us from remaining strangers. my deep condolences on your loss. my dh and i lost our vizsla in 1985 and still grieve for him. we were lucky enough to find a very nice pet cemetery not too far away to inter him in. his ashes are buried under a very nice tree and he's next to a saint bernard named clancy(for company). once again, i'm so sorry.
Thanks, nicksgrammy, for your thoughtful words. I am sorry for your loss of Vizsla also. How nice for him that he has such a wonderful resting place where you know where he is and where you can visit. I am counting on seeing my girl again one day in heaven. Right now, I just miss her so much.
Clare,
My sister-in-law had both of her dogs cremated and they are in pretty little urns on her book case. They are small, tasteful and unintrusive. There is a place for a picture of the pet, as well as a little handle on the side to put their collar. I just thought it was really sweet. She was very upset about the prosect of ever moving and the dogs being buried at that house. Now she can just take them with her. Some people find it comforting to sprinkle the ashes somewhere that was special to you. Then you don't feel like you have left them buried somewhere and moved on. Both of our chihuahuas are buried at my parents' old house in Midland so it really bothered me when they moved last year and I know that Juan and Mannie are still there. It's just a thought. I know it is so hard to have to make these decisions when you are still grieving!
Jamie
Thanks, Jamie. What great names for chihuahuas. We wrapped Dutchess in her favorite blanket and brought her to the vet yesterday. They told me that Dr. Thomas buries all his patients, and he seems like a very compassionate man so I trust him to treat her body with respect. They did offer cremation services, but we elected not to go that route because of the cost. Her spirit is what matters most to me so I hope she is up in heaven running around with a pig ear in her mouth.
Clare,
It is a very personal choice. People all deal with grief and death differently. Some people like a place to visit, such as a grave, and know the person/pet is "there." Others want the same thing, but ashes scattered at the location is enough for them to feel like there is a physical presense of their loved one. And still others view the body as a mere shell and don't really mind what happens to the physical remains- I mean as long as they are properly buried and treated respectufully. For them it is spiritual and truly feel that " they live in my heart" thing. Which I really do, but I also feel comforted knowing there is a place I can go visit that associates that person/pet. Cremation is expensive, you are correct on that. My SIL had Pokey for 15 years. She found him in the middle of the road in Oklahoma City. The vet estimated him to be "at least" 2 years old at that time. So he was 17 when he passed away. She just couldn't bring herself to not have him with her so she cremated him. Duke was tragically hit by a car and wasn't old, but she cremated him just because it made her feel so much better about Pokey. So, again, it's personal!
Jamie
Jamie, you are right. I'm so sorry that your parents moved and that you can't visit Juan and Mannie anymore. I probably would have had Dutchess cremated if I could have afforded it. A pet cemetary is a wonderful thing. It is comforting to know where a deceased loved one is. Your SIL sounds like a really great, caring person, and I'm sorry that she suffered losses as well. Thanks so much for comforting me.
OH MY GOD
I'm sooooo sorry Care
I'm out of touch for a few days and just saw this
She was a Duchess till the end and I feel your pain
I know its hard but its better that she died in her own home with her family instead of in a vets office where everything is scary
I hope when Cinders time comes its quick,painless and at home
I don't know if I could handle holding her while the vet
"puts her down"
As for the burial,I tend to bury all my creatures
only because we have land to do it
My newfies were tough as the Danes are
I have the neighbor bring over his small back how to dig holes
Heck I even had a huge track hoe brought in to bury one of my horses,8 foot down ,under my veggie garden
If I didn't have this option I would go for cremation
Thats what gunna happen to me......
again, Clare I am sooo sorry
Karyn, thank you for your condolences. I had so hoped she would be like Cinders and get through this rough patch and live to be 13. You are so lucky to have your girl for so long. You are right that the vet probably could have convinced me that she need to stay in their hospital and have lots of tests and be given lots of medicine. He suggested that he didn't think that would change the outcome and wanted to try the new antibiotics to see if that should clear things up. I'm glad she was in her own home too when she died. I just miss her terribly, and Duke does too.
That is wonderful that you bury your own animals, and it is great that you have a back hoe, which is exactly what you need for a large animal. I dug about a four-foot deep hole, but it wasn't deep enough, and the ground was rock hard below that. When I called the vet clinic yesterday, they said that my vet buries all of his own patients himself on a big piece of land that he owns in nearby Somis and that his assistant helps him. The clinic also said that many vet clinics contract with services that collect dead animals, and then they are used for fertilizer or dog food. I can't even imagine that. I'm glad that she will be buried by our vet here nearby.
Thanks, again, for being so nice.
This message was edited Jan 20, 2005 4:03 PM
I write this to any and all who have lost a pet. There is a website at www.rainbowbridge.com that could be helpful to anyone going through the difficult grieving process.
I have sent Clare a personal email about this but wanted others to know about the site as well. If it helps only one person my post will have been useful so forgive my inserting it into this thread. And if I have just repeated info already on here, forgive me that.
I wish all of you a wonerful new year
Richard T
Thanks, Richard. I just got your message and responded. It is good to have support sites such as that one. One of my gardening friends just gave me two more sites: http://p079.ezboard.com/fpetlossfrm1 and http://www.lightning-strike.com/forum/ I will definitely check them all out when I am ready to.
I am so appreciative of all the love and support I have received here from my fellow DG members.
Our hearts go out to you in your loss, Clare. Remember that Dutchess will be waiting for you and your DH and Duke at the Rainbow Bridge. She's there now, running and playing without any pain. :-)
Thanks, Donna. That is comforting to me.