Posting my disappointment...

Many of you have cheered me on as I was selling my house in Asheville, and delighted with me that the new owner(s) had agreed to let me take some tagged plants after the fact of closing, and also to divide some perennials this spring.

Well, it hasn't turned out that way, despite the contract AND our verbal agreement.

In January, he was okay with me taking the Contorted Filbert (Harry Lauder's Walking Stick) and the stick that has now leafed out into the lush Acer palmatum dissectium (dwarf cascading Laceleaf Japanese maple) and 2-4 other tagged plants. Now that they are leafing out, it's another story!

Two days ago I called him to tell him I would be Friday there to dig plants, and now he's decided they are HIS plants and I'm not even invited onto the property.

Y'know, I really would have willingly (but with a struggle) have left the 2 specimen plants, fearing to kill them by moving them. But to have him just shut the door to my old garden is both an insult and a real disappointment.

Here's a (poor) photo of the Jap maple last May, taken from the rooftop.

Do you have all of this spelled out in the contract?

That IS disappointing, Darius, and you must feel such a sense of loss. I hope that you can plant new ones in your new home, and that both you and your plants thrive and prosper!

Carla, yes, it's spelled out in the contract. However, there are two things for me to consider: One, the price of litigation, and Two: what it does to my spirit to have anger and frustration in my life.

The cost of replacements is about $450 for the jap maple, $150 for the contorted filbert, and maybe $100 for all the other plants.

It's more of a loss of friends in my garden than the monetary loss.

He should be ashamed, Darius. So sorry to hear of your loss.
:(

Do you know any attorneys who could write a letter on your behalf? Sometimes the "threat" of litigation is enough to persuade some folks to adhere to the law.

I know it's frustrating. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

if its in the contract i would have the attorney who wroe the contract get in touch with him.

a word of advice breaking a written contract is agianst the law and he will pay more from breaking it then you will by going back to the lawyer.

in all and all its your call but if it was me and i had it in a contract i would be on my lawyers door step in a heart beat.

my plants are my babies. no one messes with them.

good luck but do give the lawyer a call just to see what he says then go from there.

Darius, I am sorry to hear of this. I understand your feeling of loss and I also understand your hesitation at taking this further. You could possibly go in with the contract and a sherrif to claim what is obviously your property, or you could resign yourself to the selfishness of this person and pray pity on him.

Actually, as I sit here, I can think of several devious and nasty things that you could visit on him, all in the name of native gardening, but perhaps you would be better off not going there! I can be sooooo bad.

I echo Imzadi, the contract is the law-also those are your prized plants!! If I move (have been looking),I will have in the contract that I am stripping the yard of plants, will have an expert take out the mature azalea and Jap. maple.
I cannot abide cheats and that is just what the new "owner" is.

What if he doesn't take the same care you took of them and they should die? You owe it to the plants to try to save them. imho.

Darius, Leaving these specimens must feel like losing old friends. I have no plans to sell my home, but I know, like you, l'd like to take some old friends with me... or at least be able to visit from time to time.

You've said that moving them might kill them, so perhaps it is best for them to remain where they are. At least, thinking of it that way might make it easier to do so. If peace can be made with the new owners, the door is less likely to be shut, concerning future contact or removal.

As we all know, the death of our green friends is always a real possibility. Each spring I walk the yard looking for new growth, and sometimes I lose old friends. I think this is part of the gardening experience that helps us grow spiritually, just as our plants grow.

If you were to litigate and able to remove the shrubs and plants, their presence might be more likely to remind you of the bad experience than give you joy. By the same token, the buyers of your home will probably get less joy from their beautiful garden knowing that they were unwilling to share its bounty with its creator.

Darius, I am sorry to hear that this happened. I know you will figure out what is best to do, but if I were in your shoes I'd seriously consider pursuing the matter since it was written in the contract and these plants are not inexpensive to replace. I think I'd contact your realtor first to have him/her contact theirs and see what happens. Your next option would be to contact the lawyer who handled your closing and see if he can give them a nudge to cooperate. You've already paid the real estate commission and legal fees so they should be obligated to help you.

If that doesn't work I would take them to small claims court since you have a legal binding contract as well as photos to prove your case. I've never filed one before, but I think it is only a minimal fee (less than $50) and you wouldn't need a lawyer. I do feel the lawyer that handled your part of the closing should be obligated until all parts of the contract on your behalf are satisfied though.

Adam was looking over my shoulder when I was reading this thread. His first thought was since they broke the contract you have every right to declare the entire contract null/void. I know it is a bit extreme, but I'm sure the idea and expense of having to move and find a new place wouldn't be that appealing to them either. Adam's theory is that if they want you to lose your treasured plants then they run the risk of losing more themselves in the end.

We both hope this can be worked out and you get your plants back. Carol

This message was edited Apr 17, 2004 7:08 PM

Darius, what about offering to replace some of them with another 'less expensive' plant that has no meaning to you. But a contract is a contract. I was just thinking of something to keep peace, sort of. :)

Friends, you ALL have made valid points and support in my behalf, and I thank you all.

However, I think Weezingreens echoes my thoughts in a very succinct manner: "If you were to litigate and able to remove the shrubs and plants, their presence might be more likely to remind you of the bad experience than give you joy. By the same token, the buyers of your home will probably get less joy from their beautiful garden knowing that they were unwilling to share its bounty with its creator."

That is a very valid point. Every time you look at them, you'll be reminded of the unpleasant situation. I hadn't thought of that.

Very true what Weez said but I think I would try just one letter from the lawyer - that wouldn't be getting into litigation or anything unpleasant but you have at least established your rights and you can tell yourself that you tried without anything getting nasty. There's always the possibility if they get nasty that they will just chop them down and then you still lose. A sad day for you... :(

I'm so sorry. You should at least make him pay. Get you money out of him for being such a jerk... Any court would award you money to replace them if you have a contract saying they're yours and he won't give them back. I hope it works out for you...

darius , what perennials were you going to divide? maybe between a few of us we can replace, if not maybe substitute., ....

MS, That is a wonderful idea. I wish I grew perennials to help you Darius

Darius, I have a bunch of stuff - just let me know.

My thoughts were with some of the others, that maybe a letter from the attorney would be enough without reaching the point of litigation. However, if he relents, then you still have to go to the house, and there could be a possible uncomfortable confrontation. Also, if he doesn't like the way you leave the yard, he could turn around and give you legal grief over that. So I'm not sure.........
Perhaps it is best to just move on.

Let it go.

Jen, Thanks for the offer. I'm in a temp. housing situation probably for a year, so I really don't need any more plants right now. Getting the few I wanted from the old house was more a matter of what they meant by who gave them to me.

Oh my darius, well it just goes to show ya, you really can't trust anyone these days, your word not yours but theirs means NOTHING! I'm so sorry. Hugs to you! Denise

Oh Darius, I'm so sorry.

You don't need the aggravation in your life, and by the time the attorneys wrote letters back and forth, it wouldn't be a good time to move them anyway... and in the mean time, he could pour roundup or any other poison on them so by the time you went to get them they'd be dead... Then all the aggravation you went through would be for nothing.

What comes around goes around... and I"m sure that this person will have all that negative energy come back to him in some form or another.

Anyone else can also learn something from this... if you're selling, and there is something you want, take it when you move out, otherwise, don't count on getting it back.

Darius, once you're in your permanent home, I'm sure you can build gardens even more beautiful than the ones you left behind. Everyone will help you replace what you lost if we possibly can.

BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Melissa

Do you think maybe you could ask for a few cuttings?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

I wouldn't let him get away with it, true, litigation would take too long, but getting the money out of him would be sweet.

Would you have sold the house knowing you'd have to leave them behind?? I think not.

Go get him Darius, at least make him sweat.
I'm so sorry to hear of this!

"Vengeance is mine", sayeth The Lord. What goes around comes around and everyone gets theirs in the end! :) Let that be solice to you dear Darius.

It is always frustrating when something like this happens but you are wise to vent it out and then go on with your life. If it will help you feel better to do so, write them a letter and let them know that their renigging on this part of the contract is a big disappointment to you because of the sentimental value of the plants in question but that you will not be taking legal action against them even though you are entitled to do so. However, you will be praying for them. Then leave the rest in the hands of the Almighty.

Writing such a letter may not get your plants back but it will at least leave them no doubt that they have acted improperly and lessen the joy they could have in their ill gotten plants. Who knows, it may even prick their concience enough that they will want to make it right.

Darius I too feel your pain. Im sorry but people like that really make me want to scream sometimes and do some other very unladylike things that could get me in trouble. Im I hate it when my friends have to go thru something like this, it gets me so mad I want to go over there with a copy of the contract and dig all your babies up for you. GGGRR
Just a thought but would it cost you less and give you less agravation if you talked to your/the lawyer about reimbursement so you can go purchase replacements for what he will not give you wich is rights yours? It might be something to look into.
{{{HUGS}}}

Darius, everyone else has said just about everything I would have. I'm so sorry - it is heartbreaking to lose your plants and so disappointing and frustrating to have a straightforward agreement turn into an ugly dispute.

One other thing to consider: if you leave them there, then HE (and his conscience) must face those plants every time he sees them. The hollow victory might not affect him at first, but in time, I suspect it WILL weigh on his conscience and perhaps it will plant a seed (pardon the pun) that helps him become a better person (there's a scripture about when we're kind to our enemies, it's like heaping burning coals on their head?)

((((((((darius))))))))) big ole hug from me - and please let us know if there are any "baby plants" you'd like us to send to you when you're ready to start a whole new garden.

And I'll bet all the plants start growing towards you. Like reaching for their "Mommy". Can't you just see it??

Darius...keep smiling. :)

We also had our attorney who handled our farm sale put in the agreement that I could take any or all of my plants, trees and shrubs.
The man tried to back pedal, but attorney held him to the original contract. I don't think he wished to mess with our attorney as he is a personal friend and will go to the max for his friends!!

Good luck on receiving your plants. I would contact the attorney who wrote up the contract and make him stand behind what was written.

Maxine

Sledder, you are TOO funny! Thanks. :)

EVERYONE: Thanks so much for the support and solace! I have decided to just let it rest, even though I have the legal authority on my side.

I woildn't be happy having the plants after a protracted legal battle, and probably he wouldn't either. Better for the plants to just leave them.

You could always send him a "Housewarming" card with instructions on how to care for the plants.
The card would be a sarcastic closure for you, but it would give the new owner an idea of how to care for the plants. I would probably add my address and phone # also, just in case he decided to do the right thing. Btw, is there a wife you could talk to? A neighbor that could do a night recon? Just kidding.
I'm sorry this turned out this way for you. Non-gardeners have no idea the blood, sweat and tears that we put in to our gardens and that we dont just "grow plants".
Time will tell
Jen

I just saw this post, Darius. I can imagine your frustration, and have also learned a lot from your spirit of letting go. I tend to get hung up on the first part and have trouble doing the latter! I agree about sending him a note and telling him how you feel, especially about how the plants are from friends and mean much to you. To him they're just a bonus, but to you they represent years of friendships.

darius, I too feel sorrow for you in the loss of your dear plants. If it were me for my 2 cents worth, I would certainly think your lawyer should make certain that you receive compensation for the plants that by your contract you were supposed to be able to remove. Good Luck, Donna

darius... you me... a 2.5 gal jug of roundup concentrate and some empty balloons...

can you say roadtrip?

You know, Darius. Gardenwife makes a good point. The new homeowners should be able to reimburse you for the value of your plants, and that would help in purchasing plants in your new location.

Russ and I have been talking about selling and moving. I have always kept this type of scenerio in the back of my thoughts. Always knew I'd have to tell them right off the bat that the landscape would NOT be the same because I'd be taking my most favorored plants with, but leaving many behind for them. I know I'll be getting big pots and having to do ALOT of work (while the boys are moving the furniture) and saving MY most prized possessions (hubby doesn't know which ones are worth saving). I have worked for years now accumulating the plants that I do have, and many are them are either my babies from seed or plants that dear people divided and shared with me, that I've not only maintained, but nurtured, watch grow and help thrive.

I hope you can work this out with an attorney, as it is in the contract. It's not going to pretty going on this person's property (your old place) and digging up your plants, with that kind of anomosity floating around there.

My advice to anyone thinking of selling is do what I've planned, and pot those babies up while they are still yours and take them with you when you move, but also make sure it is in the contract that the landscape will be slightly altered upon move, since you are taking plants.

That person has no idea the time you have spent on those plants. We as gardeners do. Chances are, with his attitude he doesn't even know how to care for them. I'm so sorry for you that this happened, Darius.