my heart is breaking.......

Tonight at 2.50am I was seperated from my children. Their father is taking them on holiday for 2 weeks and I am yet again not well enough to go with them. My little boy Simon who is 5 has hardly ever been seperated from me and is now gone... he does not have a good relationship with his father and I will hear his screams that he wants his mummy for a very long time! :((
I think my heart is going to break. I miss him already!

thankyou for listening. I just had to tell someone :((((

aaaahhhhh big hug ((((((((((psilo))))))))))

everything will be alright, you'll see :)

ohhhhhhhhhhh, psilo - wishing a hug your way. May these two weeks go as quickly as possible.

thanks you two. I know I may sound soft but Im not really. I know my son better than anyone and this is not a case of a mother simply brooding after her chick! :((

We know :)
you just have to relax though and wait it out my dear friend ;)
it'll all be alright

Children are so resilient and adaptable -- even though Simon would far rather be with you, once the holiday with his father is underway he will get into the swing of things. Try to keep very busy for the next couple of weeks, and I'll bet the days will fly by. I'm praying for you!

Oh psilo, please don't dwell on this too much, it is a part of this life that you simply must bear. Stay here on DG and laugh, learn and contibute. Remember he is on holiday, and children are so resiliant--yes he will miss you, and you him. But you have us, and we won't let you down! STAY BUSY!! Let our hugs surround you and comfort you, please (:

Sending strength and support to you,
Vi

I don't know what to say other than (((((hugs))))

ah, sweetie, I hope it goes by quickly for you. stay busy and use the time to take extra good care of yourself. Remember they love you and do your best to think positive thoughts.

psilo, my heart goes out to you. Your little ones will return and amaze you with stories of fun. Yes, stay busy. Your story is so refreshinly sweet in this day of parents farming their children off in every direction from early early ages. Looking forward to your announcement of their return and all their stories.

Bless your heart, I know so well your feelings, and have experienced them in my grown children's lives as well. This is one of the most difficult things we mothers are forced to do. But this I can tell you: there is a good side of it. Going away from you when he thought it was something he couldn't possibly endure will help this child to develop coping skills. Your job now is to guard against transferring your own anxiety to him, so he will be able to fully benefit from this separation. It won't be immediately evident, and the results will be cumulative, but it's a first step toward the development of his confidence in his own ability to navigate the world.

I definitely think it will be harder on you than on him, once he gets past the very painful event of leaving. But he will need you to put on a happy face and act as if this was/is an adventure. If you are able to have frequent contact with them, it must be with a happy attitude. Otherwise, his little tummy will churn and he will forever remember this as a nightmare. Give him an opportunity to remember it as a dream, and encourage him to share the good parts with you.

You have reminded me of my own heavy heart, and that it turned out okay after all. Even my heart healed.

Psilo, between the crack-of-dawners and the nightowls here at DG, there's always one of us around to chat with you and help you keep occupied. Praying the time goes quickly and that you can have peace.

Yes, I echo that gw
You have so many interests and so many friends. Keep occupied and plan some nice surprises for their return

What a great idea, Phil! Psilo, can you do some advance planning and work for a special event on their return? It will give you (and them) something positive to look forward to :)

Edited to add my hugs (((((( Psilo ))))))

This message was edited Saturday, Aug 16th 5:25 AM

HI guys what can I say! last night it was 4am before I went to bed I was so churned up inside but having read all your posts I feel so much better. Thankyou all (((HUGS!)))

Aimee your advice is brilliant thankyou! I plan to go through the house like a whirlwind and have a real good clearout (it is long overdue) and I am finally going to decorate the front room so everything looks fresh and clean upon their return. You are all so right. Children are so resilient. Ben and Jenny my eldest 2 cried when I told them I couldnt make it this year but they were ok about it when they left. BUt they are used to leaving me as they have gone to their nans in a different county since they were young. Simon refuses to go and when he does he is unhappy. He is very sensitive and no matter what I do he has always hated leaving me.

I have always tried to make my children independant. I do not cling to them.Being home for them though is important to me. WHen they were finally all at school I wanted a job that entailed I was always around for them. That is why I set up my seed and paintings commission businesses. That way I can come and go as I please and always be around for them.

You guys are the best. Thankyou for being there. GW I am often around in the early hours in the UK. I will shout if I want you! :))

I phoned dh this morning to see how they were getting on. Simon sounded so cheerful. "Mommy I am at the seaside!" I feel so much happier now, but sad too because I cant be there with him! :))

What a relief for you to know that he's alright. It must be so frustrating not to be able to be there, but at least you can hang onto that excited little voice. It's a growing up experience for him as Aimee says, and he'll have a lot to tell you when he comes home - as will all the others :)

psilo, hang in there. the two weeks will be up before you know it. thinking of you

pebble hi!!!! so good to hear from you. how are you? thinking of you too :)

yes Philomel it is a relief. They have had to put up with alot this last 12 months because I havent done all the things with them that I used to. You cant help off loading on yourself thinking you are failing them/abandoning them etc. However, since I have been ill their father has had to spend alot more time with them and hopefully this will be all to the good. They are learning to adjust and this is going along way to putting my mind at rest.

You're over the hump, Psilo -- now just work on those projects and keep busy, and before you know it you'll all be reunited. God bless you and your dear ones!

Sending you hugs and good thoughts Psilo! Take care and stay busy. Those dear ones will be home before you know it!

Glad to hear those withdrawals are a little easier. Best thing is, they're coming back. :) Praying for you to even enjoy this solitude, Psilo.

Today was ok though I slept for most of it as I was so tired. Awoke around 7pm and decided to get some fresh air up on the allotment before the sun went down. However, I wish I hadnt bothered! First off I was just pulling up at the gates and the gearbox went (aarrggghhhh! - my car is only 1 years old!!) then I was attacked by midges - eaten alive. When I woke up this morning I looked like Mr Blobby!! LOL Oh well :)

Ain't life grand??? At least you don't have the flu, on my 2nd day here, ugh! We expect daily posts from you, now, K?

Isn't life grand Psilo?


Wintermoor

Hi Annette, I am here too and thinking of you and hoping all goes well. I agree with everybody, just busy busy and thank goodness for the telephone. You can talk often.Wishing you well, Joann

Those midges are the worst, from what I hear. Hope you can get your car repaired fast (is it still under warranty?) -- Benadryl ought to help the itching.

Yes life is very grand. I can do what I like when I like.... but sometimes VB I wish it was sometimes just the flu that ails me! :((
yes whiterose midges are the worst! my face is totally covered with bumbs. I even have them on the very edges of my eye lids. Not sure whats happened though this year. In the past I have always reacted badly to them and they even put me in hospital once with a severe anaphalactic shock but this year I am not reactng at all? The bumps are there but no itching! I am not complaining mind;) just dont understand it. Maybe it has something to do with the different medication I am taking??

Yes Whiterose my car still has 2 years to run before the warrenty runs out (then a swap it for another one) so Im not bothered. Its just a nuisance :S

..and WIntermoor Jenny doesnt need my gearbox cos dh has just bought her a new bike!! :O!! LOL

Psilo, maybe your system is just getting accustomed to the midges. Nowadays when mosquitoes bite me, it only itches for a few seconds, and the welt is gone in less than 5 minutes. Used to last days and days, now I hardly even notice when I get them. Dunno if it can happen with midges; thankfully we don't have them here.

Hey psilo, I was just teasing about life being grand--
most times it's a stinker, lol!

Don't forget your daily check-in (:

Psilo, I have been checking in on this thread and didn't post because I was not sure what to say. I have never been away from my kids for more than a few hours. I know it would kill me if I ever had to be away from them. I know how I would feel but honestly I can't say I know how you feel. I hope things have gotten easier for you and you will soon have them back with you. I also hope you got that front room done! LOL Wanna come help with mine? That would keep you busy for a GOOD week or more. :) Big hugs to you.

Psilo, I hope you are feeling better. I was just thinking that you should take advantage of this situation and pamper yourself. Do something you don't normally do.

HI folks Well I have spoken to the kids and they are having a "top" time, not missing their mum at all! DH has bought them all new bikes and they are well and truely won over!! :) I am pleased that are doing fine, but a little hurt that they are not missing me all that much. DH also told me I didnt have to ring everyday! :O

anyway I have been busy on the allotment. There is an awful lot to do at this time of year, weeding, harvesting and tidying up. My seed harvest is almost in so now I have to take time to prepare for next year.

Midge bites are terrible. I have had wealds come up 4 inches or more. They go hard and very sore. I have one on the bottom of my leg at the moment. It is yellow and red and I dont think it is quite sure which way it is going to go! ;) the doctor on the radio said that with a general increase in temperatures we are getting more mossies and things that bite us - great! :O
I also have a very sore,tingly arm that I caught on a particularly virile patch of stinging nettles. Usually I rub a dock leaf on it and it really helps but I think they are quite keen at this time of year.

Sounds like you are doing pretty good Psilo except those crazy midge bites do sound pretty miserable. What kind of bug is a midge? I am not familar with that word 'midge'.

Its a tiny fly Joann, approx 3 mms in length. They fly in swarms. They come out when it is damp or usually after about 6.30 pm. You can often feel them stinging you and many repellants do not work against them!

Yuck!!! We are kinda of spoiled here, no chiggers, snakes that bite, no midges, very few mosquitoes. But I must say no lightening bugs either. :( But yes we have had many many Japanese beetles too.

Have a look at this and you'll realise what we've had to live with all of our lives lol

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/usfeatures/midges/


Wintermoor

Cleggs!
I like the last bit about Midges keeping man out to the extent that it keeps it less developed!!

Our midges vary sometimes they can swarm and not bother you and other days like last saturday they are in kamakaze mode and attact everything that moves!!

Elsie what is pampering?? Its been such a long time since Ive done it Ive forgotten what it is like??? LOL
I hate shopping, I hate staying in the bath too long and if I eat chocolate I get fat!! guess Im just a hopeless case! ;) :D

actually the best part about not having anyone around is not having to cook meals. I am a good cook but at this time of year when I am so busy mealtimes always get in the way!!

Psilo, I am sure that your kids do miss you, a lot! But they are easily distractable, and it sounds as though they are currently distracted. Happily so. I rejoice that you are doing OK, finding lots to do.

Is there any remedy you can use to help get rid of the swelling rash? I found that baking soda in the bathwater for 15 minutes removes almost all the itch from whatever bugs have bitten me (usually horseflies and gnats).

CLEGS!!! Ouch, how well I remember!!!

They call them Gadfly or Horsefly in some parts of England.

They must have stung me 20 times and sucked about a litre of blood out of me the last time I was in the Highlands, and the wee buggers always attacked me when I was hanging on the side of a cliff by a fingernail. When I was on solid ground they never came near.

TYPICAL!!! hmmmph!!!


Wintermoor