Kind Thoughts for Penny4

I got Penny's permission to let you all know that she has had a real tragedy in her life. Her dear husband passed away on July 15th due to complications after surgery. Bill was only 45, and he & Penny were wonderful together, so she is obviously heartbroken and still a bit in shock.

I've held off posting this on Dave's, waiting until I could discuss it with Penny, but I'm glad to be able to do so now because I know what a great bunch of folks you all are here on Dave's. Many of us have been through what Penny is enduring now, and many others have had other experiences that have broken their hearts but not their spirits, so I know you'll find some right words to say.

Penny's not ready to discuss the circumstances of Bill's untimely death, nor does she need to be told how awful this whole thing is. I think she just needs to know that she is in our thoughts and prayers, and that some of us have been in a similar spot and survived it. I'm hoping she'll stop by the Garden to visit this thread, and I'm hoping we'll have the right words to make her day a little easier and her nights more restful.

Note to Penny:

So sorry to hear about your DH. Just a note to let you know that even though this is the hardest valley you will ever go through, you will make it. I lost my 21 year old daughter in 1993, and I can truly say that you will feel better. Hang on. I'm praying for you.

I don't know what to say. I wish I knew what words to say... All I know to say is I am so sorry, Penny! And you can bet you are in my thoughts and prayers! I don't know what else to say, so I'll take your lead, Weez, and let her know that my mother was in her shoes before.

Penny, my father died from a gunshot when I was nine. My mother had a very hard time of it, as did us kids. But we did make it through. Time is the only thing that will make it any better, so I wish that time will go by swiftly for you. Everyone grieves differently, too, so when the people tell you, "You should do this." or "You shouldn't do that.", you do not have to listen. Follow your heart and it will tell you what is right for you to feel and do right now. I wish you peace.

I don't know what I can say to make you feel better, except please know that I will hold you close in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Joan

No words can take away the pain; only time can do that. You and your family are in our prayers, Penny. I'm so sorry. :(

Oh dear, what a calamity, and such a young man too.

Dear Penny, words can't take away your pain, but knowing that we are all thinking of you will hopefully ease it a little.

God love you both.

Wintermoor

I am truly sorry for your loss.

Donna

Penny, I'm so sorry. Please remember that we love you here, and we'll be here if you need to talk. (((((Penny)))))

Dear Penny,
I'm so sorry, I lost my mom when I was eight, I can understand some of your pain. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
Becky

so sorry to hear of your loss. prayers and hugs to you.
patricia

Penny - so sorry to hear about your loss.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and pray that as each day passes you will be blessed with peace and healing.

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you my prayer. I lost my father kill himself when I was little girl.

Penny, just know that your DG family is here and will be praying for you and your family.
Ruth

Penny, just know you are Loved.

Penny, thinking of you.

Penny, thoughts and prayers are with you. We are here if you need us. God bless you!

Penny...I know what you are going through as I lost my DH just this past Christmas Season....The folks here in this wonderful garden helped me more than anyone can even begin to imagine! We'll be here for you too. My prayers are with you at this time. Jo

PENNY,
Thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers!
Doris

I just wanted to bring this thread forward and let you all know that I had a nice chat with Penny4 on the phone yesterday, and she is doing much better. These things take time, as most of you already know, but she's taking charge of her life and getting through each day at a time. She told me she has visited Dave's Garden a few times but just wasn't up to posting.

Her friend down there told me that Penny's garden is beautiful right now.. God's way of offering comfort, I think. I'm hoping she can manage a few pictures to share with us when she feels up to it. I know she's appreciated your concern and your prayers, and I hope to see her visiting with us here in the garden one of these days soon.

Thank God!! I'm so glad!! I haven't been on much these past couple weeks either, but have been thinking of many of the people here ~ Penny was one of them. I'm so so very glad to hear that she has had some comfort!!!

I love you, Penny. I know many here do as well. It's nice to know that you are still reading some of these posts, but take your time coming back. We'll be here with open arms when you do. ((((((((Penny))))))))

((((((((Penny))))))))) .........although my words are not elequent, they are heartfelt!! Here is something I found that conveys how I feel.
http://free.bluemountain.com/eng/sympathy/SYlamb.html

"eyes"

Thinking of you Penny.

Thoughts going in Penny's direction

Wintermoor

With all my best wishes for you Penny.

I hope that by the time you can look at this thread , you are able to star healing your soul and remembering all the beautiful time you share with your hubby.

Know that I'm praying for you and that everyone in DG's is beside you, giving you strengh, hope and courage.
cristina

(((Penny)))) thinking of you during this difficult - difficult time. Wish I were closer, I'd come see you.

Sending prayers and sympathy ;like others who have posted, I have lost family-the pain takes time to leave; the wonderful memories stay forever. Sending a soft shoulder and warm hugs your way.

(((Penny))) You are in my thoughts and prayers still.

I hope you will feel up to joining us again soon, when you are ready to. We miss you.

Penny...I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel the peace of God in your heart. ((((Penny))))

Penny, My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. You WILL survive! I've lost my husband too and know what you are going through. Hang in there, one day at a time. Doris

You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this time of grief and making adjustments. Hang in there, it does get better with time. Keep busy, that helps a lot.

I don't know how I missed this because it is so close to my heart. Dear Penny I too lost my husband when he was only 45 years old. It was the children and my garden that kept me going. Both needed my love and attention and this sustained me through the dark times. In the early days it was so hard to bear but those days soon passed because time is ever swift and you know that you must go forward. Grieving is a natural process after losing a loved one and being able to talk about your loss with someone brings comfort and healing. You will be in my prayers!!

I am so sorry for your loss Penny. (((())))

((((Penny)))) You WILL get through this! I can't even imagine trying to do it by myself. Please allow yourself to use us as part of your support system.
Prayers & Thoughts,
Sue

I keep hoping Penny will log onto this thread, but I understand that she has to take this at her own pace. I, too, have lost the man in my life, just has others have, so I know how difficult it can be. It's like drowning in a sea, and you grab the first handhold you find and hang on for dear life. If you have children, or anyone who depends on you, you muster the strength to sustain both them and yourself.

Death, like life, is the natural order of things, but it is hard to accept that when your heart is aching and there is this gaping hole in your life. I am so humbled by the messages of comfort and the way those who have experienced loss and are willing to share. Every prayer, every good wish is a bit of comfort we offer Penny at this time, and perhaps it's a bit of closure for those of us who have been in her shoes. Thanks everybody.

You are so right, Weez, about it being like drowning in an immense sea with no land in sight. My mother said almost those exact words one of the many times we've talked about my father's death and I knew what she meant. Even though she had us kids to hang onto, it still took her three months to find us again. She spent that time in her bedroom, drapes closed, lights off. I would stand outside her door many times and hear her softly crying. I didn't know what to do except sit on the floor and cry with her, though she didn't know I was there.

If it wasn't for her sisters coming up most weekends, I think she would have gone mad. They helped her swim to me. And I'll never forget a wonderful neighbor who has a huge heart and wasn't afraid to step in and give a BIG nudge ~ Annette would call her often or come over and ask if she wanted to go out dancing with her. After a month or more of "No"s, Annette said, "Shirley, I love you, and this is enough, honey. You need to get out atleast one time. I'm coming over to get you in one hour. If you're not dressed, you're going in what you have on." She had assembled a group of gals, some of who had gone through the death of a husband, and out they went. Annette's actions reminded Mom that no matter what, life was going on, with or without her. I will forever be in debt to that woman for not only throwing Mom a lifeline while she was floating aimlessly, but also for pulling her back in the boat.

I am so sorry to have missed this thread earlier. But now i'm here i'd like to add my voice to all the others Penny, to let you know that you are in all our thoughts. Remember always that we're here rooting for you. Come and join us as soon as you're able.
Hilary

Penny, still thinking of you and praying that you are OK.

Thinking of you .Hope the pain is starting to ease just a little.
Marigold.