Let's All Agree on Something...

OK, guys...here's the thing. Can we all agree that it is alright to remind people they are supposed to send you seeds? So far, I've read threads in which people feel cheated because they didn't get seeds that were supposed to be sent, and other people who are agonizing over whether they sent seeds or not. There are some of us poor confused people out there that don't even know if they promised any seeds!

Most of us in DG like to trade seeds or plants, and sometimes that gets screwed up. Sometimes, I'm sure someone actually is victimized, but for the most part, I think we just have a communication problem. Can we just agree that it's not only OK, but necessary that we let each other know when we haven't received something we were expecting. It doesn't have to be offensive or accusitiory...just an inquiry. I wouldn't find that insulting or rude, but I'd sure feel bad if I discover my mistake from a third party.

This flurry of threads about bad garden deals has got everbody racking their brains trying to figure out if they are the bad guy or not, and that would be so unnecessary if we'd all be honest with one another.

I couldn't agree more with you and I've asked myself the question too "Did I sent everyone what I was supposed to"? but then I don't know who to e-mail to ask either so if you are expecting a trade, just pop off a little friendly note. We all make mistakes, after all we are human. And computers make mistakes, after all they are built by humans :)

I think that would be a fine idea. Thank you for mentioning it.

I totally agree!! Let it be known that if I owe you some seeds, tell me! and I will tell you. I also think that being open and honest is the best way to stay friends. *Ü*

Weez, you still need to remind me of what I told you I would send in exchange for your generous seed packet. It came, and I couldn't for the life of me remember our agreement. But I wanted so much to be fair! And you didn't reply when I emailed asking you, so I think you must be mad at me and now I am going to have to suck on a dirty sock and sit in the corner.

Edited.

This message was edited May 21, 2005 1:44 PM

Bitty 1, how amusing! I have sent many people whole flower heads, especially for purple monarda, and they thought I had sent something worthless. Actually, the best way to plant some things is the way they would be planted in the natural state, as if they fell from the plant and waited for the elements to do their work. We are too desirous of having them when and where we want them to do that, but I do it often in my pasture. It's fun to read about your experience, and picture the look on the faces of the recipients.

Gosh, Aimee, I don't think you owe me a darn thing, and I'm sorry if I didn't answer an email. I miss one once in awhile since my DH and I both check mail and some gets opened before I notice them. My recollection was that I didn't need anything at the time, but if I needed something later, I'd let you know. I have lots of seeds, and you were so nice to me when I first started posting that I just wanted to offer you something.

Here's another point, for some people it is hard to receive something without repaying in some way. I'm like that myself. By not asking for something, Aimee, I think I made you feel uncomfortable, and I sure didn't mean to do that.

When my first husband and I came up to Alaska back in 1974, local people helped us find a place to rent, recommended us to potential employers, and helped us learn how things are done up here. When we offered to pay them back, we were told that is not the Alaskan way. Up here, you pay back the help you receive by helping the next Chichako (new comer). I've always thought that was a great concept.

As far as I'm concerned, nobody in the Garden owes me anything. It's me that owes you all for welcoming me and sharing your humor, your knowledge & your photos! Since I can't thank you all individually, I want to help to make the garden a wonderful place for those who visited it. So, if I can share information, give you a good chuckle, or show you a pretty picture, I'm happy!

I myself recently lost all my incoming email-it just dissappeared in an instant one day?????? So if I have anyone waiting for something please tell me Thanks Shirley

Here's something that might help those in "sticky situations" with trades: http://davesgarden.com/trading_primer/6/

It's the section from the Trading Primer that deals with "When things go wrong". The section that follows it - "Extra Tips" has some additional pointers. In fact, I'd recommend we all do a quick read of the WHOLE primer as trading season gears back up - it has advice gathered over many years of trading, and lots of ideas for how to package your seeds and plants for successful shipping.

I think you have a great idea here Weezingreens. I for one tend to get confused when I have lots of things going. I would be happy to get a reminder if I owed someone something.I might be a little red faced but the reminder would be welcome.I think WE are lucky that you joined DG.

Great Idea, Last summer when I traded a little I lost track twice and was nicely reminded. It helps, some of us are getting on in years and miles and the road gets confusing sometimes. Makes for more smiles and less frowns, always a good thing. (Plus mixups sometimes are how we get really good friends)

Thanks, Snowhermit. As I said, I hope to contribute. Of course, being new, I'm sure I often try to re-invent the wheel. Most of these issues have been dealt with before, as G0_vols link proves. If nothing else, I hope any suggestions or questions I have will serve as a reminder to seasoned visitors to Dave's on things like this.

When I read the page that Go_vols linked, my impression was that it still comes down to communication. Followups on trades seem really important. Let someone know if you don't get the seeds, let someone know that you did! In a perfect world, we'd keep track of all our transactions and keep all this in order, but as the season progresses, I'll be lucky to do the dishes, much less start a database on seed trades! Let's all communicate directly with one another and take another look at the info Go_vols suggested!

I agree and if you don't want remind them than just forget about it.

Amen, HoniBee! If we are not willing to remind someone, then we should be willing to let it roll on by. If we're not willing to do that, we'll just harbor resentment.

ozarksue: You must have been posting the same time I was! Yes, the years take their toll, and the brain cells don't always fire the way they are supposed to.

It reminds me of a joke:

Two old gals, friends for years and years, sitting playing cards together. One of them sets down her cards and says, "Please don't be offended, since I think we're good friends, but at this moment I can't recall who you are. What's your name?"

The woman across the table just stares at her and doesn't respond, presumably insulted. After an uncomfortable pause, she asks, "When do you need to know?"

ROFL That is just sooooo to the point.
Agree with all you say on communication. It's the only way.

I have posted here that if I still owe seeds that they should let me know. I keep records of whom I promise seeds to, when and what I have mailed to them, as well as what I want from them. So far I have only had one person to promise me seeds and not send them. I just over looked it and looked else where for the seeds and got them.
I think it is a good idea to ask if you haven't received the seeds promised. I know that sometimes things can get out of hand and we do tend to forget things. In my case it just greed lol. I want everything I see and in my haste I sometimes forget to put it in my trade tablet, so if I owe anyone anything please let me know.
signed THE GREEDY ONE