I am so mad I am seeing red

I erased this because as I sit here thinking there are so many even on this site that are having real problems. I feel better now.

This message was edited Friday, Dec 21st 5:29 PM

I'm so sorry that you were hurt over this. I wouldn't take it back, I'd give the gift and the receipt and let them do what they may!
(((((Diane))))))

This message was edited Friday, Dec 21st 7:07 PM

Take a deep breath... and then stay calm and cool.

The stress of the holiday season gets to everyone...

Oh HoniBee, I'm sorry........please don't let it upset you......I know that's easier said than done but sometimes people just don't care if they hurt someone's feelings or sometimes they just don't realize they are doing it. I'm very sorry. I felt bad because I didn't have money to get my mom anything but bought her a cardigan at the thrift store that cost me $3 because it was %75 off. I wrapped it an mailed it. She got it and told me that she wouldn't open it till christmas. I told her that I got the present at the thrift store and didn't even know if she liked it. Her response was it didn't matter, she would like it because it is a gift from my heart. That's what matters HoniBee, it doesn't matter what your DD thinks about your gift, it is a gift from your heart and I'm sure your grandson will love it. You take care now and don't worry your head too much about it :o)
You have a merry christmas dear.

your friend,
Susan

Ohhhh, HoniBee,
Sorry this has happend to you. Sometimes kids can be very very selfish. I too would give the Vcr as you had planned. I think it's a lovely idea. To me sometimes giving money is so impersonal. It takes no thought in finding that special something for someone. I also don't like to give money because part of me thinks it will just be spent on stupid things, and not the something that they really wanted, they usually just spend it to spend. That's how I was when I was younger. Thrilled to have the money, yet at the same time, would just waste it on junk food, and other silly things. I had no clue on how to save it.
So take a deep breath and do whatever it is your heart tells you to do. If it is returning the gift, and giving him the money, than that is what you should do. If it is giving him the VCR, then Do so.
I never tell anyone what I am getting them or their sons, daughters, and the like. I ask for suggestions and the like. Because sometimes us as parents, we too tend to be a little fruity. And say no that isn't a good idea. We never think how we could be hurting the gift givers feelings, or how much thought and effort go into finding said gift.
Hope things get better, and wishing you the merriest of Holidays!!!
Holly

I agree with tiG, give him the vcr and let him be the one to return it. You bought it with him in mind, it's up to him to return it if he doesn't want it. I'm so sorry you're feelings have been hurt, most especially since your heart was in the right place to begin with. ((((Honibee))))

HoniBee, I also would give him the VCR as you planed.

I see it here to, you know what the kids want, but then when you get the wishlist it's a lot of stuff the parents want FOR the kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I myself don't like to give money it's just so unpersonal! Eaven gift certificates I don't like, but this year I had to buy two for CD's...

Last year I made some crafts and some snowman soup and some of the family member did not say anything, but I knew they don't like it. IT'S HOMEMADE that meens cheap!!!!!!!!!arggggggggggg I hate that!!!!

guess what, this year I only give the kids presents.

I love christmas, we used to have such a great time when I was a child, and now my DH doesen't like it and I know I don't get anything from him!!! I know it by now, and still hope for something small under the tree for me, but then nothing and it hurts!! It's the thought that counts I wish I would have just a small something eaven if it's just UNDERWEARS LOL at least there is something!!

Carmen

Thanks all. I will be okay. It is just that having Christmas spirit around so many that have none is getting me down. I will breath and start over again.

Carmen,
I think some of us should get together and smile with each other. MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL

amen!! Merry Christmas!!!! I know the stress is getting to me. Trying so hard not to get down in the dumps :)

I just got an email from Cheapskate Monthly about the guilt that some of us may be feeling. That we haven't done enough, our hand-made treasures aren't good enough, all that I've been feeling.
She says please trust yourself, and don't second guess yourself, that what you have done is the best and enough.
She also mentioned that one last gift is whatever you are giving, attach a note to the bow telling this person how special they are, and maybe even why you selected or made this special gift for them.
I will not continue to let myself be beat up by the season and the stress. I'm going to do what I can, and that will be enough.

Thanks tiG

Honibee, glad you are feeling better about things! I have to agree, give whatever you wish. Have a wonderful Christmas! John

zameluzza...what is snowman soup?? I, too always make my Christmas gifts. My family always receives them well(I hope)they say they can't wait until the next year to see what I'm going to make them. I guess I got lucky, I have fun making them, because my kids always help me. Christmas has become too comercial. It's not what you get, but the thought behind it. Too bad some people don't know that.

Snowmansoup is a recepie,

1 Pkg. Hot Chocolate Mix
3 Hershey Kisses
20 Marshallows the little once
1 Candy Cane ( I found some chocolate spoons that I added also )

I bought some cute santa cups added all the ingrediens and wrapped them in celophan foil with a nice poem

I have to look for the poem I think I still have it somewhere.

I learned from a young man many years ago that the gift is in the giving. This young man had been unemployed for quite awhile and was living out of his old car. He came into the office one morning looking for work of any kind. After talking with him for awhile I gave him the only job opening we had which was that of janitor. He worked very hard and when Christmas bonuses came around he disappeared for lunch (he usually ate in the lunch room) When he returned he was laden with small gifts he had purchased and carefully wrapped. My gift was a salt and pepper shaker set that were little ceramic owls. They were probably sold for about $1.49 at the five and dime. He was so thrilled to be able to give these that I still have them. They sit with honor amound the china and crystal and mean more to me than all the expensive things I have ever received. They represent the true joy of giving! I wish more people could appreciate the gift of love that is wrapped up with whatever else is in a package.

Zany,
I wish more people would except the gift because of the love that you give with it not because of the cost.

I've learned that no matter what you get teenagers, after the gifts have been opened, its back to normal.
For the past 2 years DH and I were struggled to provide a nice Christmas for the kids. (16 yo twins, 15 and 10).
All of the kids had extremely costly items on their list, but those were overlooked due to finances. 1 week before Christmas, after an awful day at work,i went the casino. I walked out with over $1500. i was thrilled. Anyway, Robbie got his $200 skateboard, Aaron got his $200 roller blades, Andy got his stero and Brandon got his complete gameboy package..many games, lights, etc.
Christmas morning was great. For the first time in 3 years i got a hug from Rob. Later that day, it was back to the fighting, rudeness, nastiness, etc. I vowed at that time, NEVER AGAIN!!!!
This year i felt like i was shopping for school clothes. tshirts, boxers, socks, etc. i'm okay with that. will they be disappointed christmas morning, probaby so, but did the expensive gifts the year before change their behavior? NO!!
just my thoughts.
jen
p.s. on a side note Andy and Brandon (my two) are still enjoying the stero and gameboy. Robbie sold his skateboard for $50. and Aaron left his skates somewhere and was never able to find them. Bill and i have been married for 4 years and our two families have definately raised our kids differently. I do have to say that brandons list year had nothing more than 1 gameboy game, and a cure for bill!! thats what christmas is all about.

Here's the Snowman Soup poem I got with mine:

Word is you've been good this year.
I'm so glad to hear it!

Sneezing weather's drawing near;
You'll need to warm your spirit.

So, have some Snowman Soup,
Complete with stirring stick.

Just add hot water,
Sip it slow.

It's sure to do the trick.

I got mine as a Christmas gift from one of the little ones I take care of in child care.

thanks zameluzza and shuttlebunny...I plan to use that gift next year!! I think it's great. My kids get the underwear and socks too. I try to get other gifts as well, but it gets harder when they have their own money(summer job) and buy things they want...sometimes you can't win

Sand, I did not find the poem. I'm so glad shuttlebunny posted one for you.

I only found the one for the sock longjohns and smelly Jelly

http://www.craftplanet.com/Creations/Projects/sock_longjohns.htm

this is the poem I used

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but...
I washed these in woolite so they don't shrink.
Nor are they for junior if that's what you think.
I made these myself-
they look so neat;
they're not to admire,
but to wear on your feet.
So take off the buttons,
remove the stitches with care.
You gained two pair of socks,
but you lost your underwear!

SMELLY JELLY
2 cups distilled water
4 packages plain gelatin
a few drops of essential oil or fragrance oil
2 tablespoons salt
Heat 1 cup water and salt. Add gelatin and stir. Remove from heat, add second cup of water. add essential oil or fragrance oil. Fill small jars. Let it cool in the fridge. Cover with lid or plastic wrap.

Smelly Jelly
I'm a gift of Smelly Jelly
I'm as fragrant as can be...
Put me on a shelf at home
for all your friends to see.
I bring fresh scents
to you each day
When you uncap my lid...
Just leave me open for a while
and you'll be glad you did!

I printed the poems on ivory bussiness cards with some small graphics. punched a whole and tied it to the jelly or longjohns with a ribbon.

Carmen