Enough already!!!!!

Sorry ya'll,but I have got to blow off some steam. A while back I mentioned that a friend of dh's was going to visit "for a few days". Well it's been THREE weeks yesterday!!! GRRRRRR...and dh hasn't had work the whole time...so I get to schlep in the yard by myself while they sit in the screen room drinking beer and re-living old times...and they pick on me,"Why rake the leaves? there will only be more tomorrow!" because the magnolia seed thingies are hiding under the leaves and I have come close to busting my butt more then once on them. Washed sheets the other day...could friend make his bed??? NO I'm tired of cooking good meals..maybe yucky ones will get him movin' on his way. He's a friend of dh..I did NOT take him to raise. (hard enough trying to get dh raised LOL) OK...I feel better now :-))

Put a bug in hubbys ear. Either he goes or they both go. Probable will be long gone.

Tried puttin'a bug in his ear..he reached for the spray

yep, that's what I'd do too. Doesn't he have a life? Sorry, we're here to lend an ear anytime.

go on strike. don't lift a finger. tell him yourself to go. it is your house too. i try to be polite to all my guests but enough is enough already. i would be foward with them both. i'm sorry for your delema. chin up and carry a big stick.

Could you go visit a friend for a week or two and let them fend for their selves. Don't tell them when you'll be home of course... you could let them beleive you would be gone as long as a month.
Come visit me!

Make out a billing statement for the room and board and circle the amount owed and then give it to your guest and tell him that is what it's going to cost if you stay any longer and quit fixing big nmeals for everyone. Fix yourself something to eat and let the men fend for themselves.If your guest doesn't like it,show him the door.

just my thought but could he be in trouble and not want to admit it? could he be without a home to go to? is he broke?
i know it's very rough when your hands are so full but a bit of kindness(which i am sure you have shown plenty of) will be repaid somehow, someday...you just never know what the real story is...obviously you have a really wonderful home and he must see that and want to be apart of it just for awhile(i know 3 weeks seems long as you wash extra loads of sheets and towels) but you just never know....you maybe are entertaining someone who would be on the street, except for you and dh's good will. you'll be paid back for your kindness. a gentle touch to someone who is hurting deep inside, can mean so much. i took in an older lady friend, who ended up staying on..and on....and on....(she smoked, was high strung at times, watched tv at all hours and seemed to sleep alot during the day)but when my dear late hubby fell sick she was the first one to help me out. she stayed up at nights with him, washed clothes for us and only in a moment of late night sharing, did i find out she had been "assaulted" prior to coming to stay with me. she was too ashamed to tell anyone why she did not want to be alone. her depression over this caused her to be awake at night and sleep all day and be so high strung.... this poor soul was in her late 60's she felt incredibly ashamed of what happened to her and just pretended to want to go visiting friends and family for awhile. sadly she was turned away but some FAMILY who thought she was merely using them as a holiday hotel. now all situations are different, but this was mine. i'm glad i was there for her as she sure was a gift from god when i needed help.:)

First of all, remove all beer from the fridge, put it in a cooler or somewhere they won't find it, before they would normally start on it for the day. Walk straight up to "friend" and DH before you start on a task, look them in the eye, first one and then the other as you speak, state in a cheery and confident tone that the vacation is over, all members and long term guests of this household have work to do, and you need their help. Tell them exactly what to do, preferably in different areas with friend closest to you, and proceed to the work of your choosing. Be sure they don't get a chance to turn this into anything but a work time. If they start the good old boy routine, issue orders as if they were the teenagers they're acting like, but do so with a coy smile, ("uh-uh, no playing around on the job. Friend, you better come with me, I can't trust the two of you"). Let there be no mistake about who is in charge at this point. If they are cooperative, excuse yourself after an hour or so, depending on how hard the task is, prepare coffee, tea or other snack, no beer or other alcohol because it will make them lazy and rebellious, and announce that it's time for a break, come and get it. Go onto the screen porch ahead of them and direct everything: where to sit, when to begin, etc. In just exactly the amount of time it should take to have the snack, stand up and announce that it's time to get back to work, plenty to do and dark on the way, whatever is appropriate. It might not work, and probably depends on DH's attitude, but he just could be trapped and not want to hurt friend's feelings and not know how to get out of it. If you think this won't work, go to friend and say you wonder if you could get a little help, then get him started on something to help you in a routine chore. If it seems like it might work in household chores, just tell him you wonder if he would help you do a simple thing, like stir the gravy or pull the bread out of the oven, anything. Tell him in a teasing way to wash those grubby mitts first. If he's in trouble, if there are serious reasons for his extended visit, he will be thrilled and relieved to find a way to help. Stop treating him like a guest, and if his intentions are honorable he will stop acting like one. If none of this works, have a private pillow chat with DH and give him a chance to explain what's going on. Don't be the one to get negative, or it will surely come home to roost, fair or not.("You don't like any of my friends, you run my friends off" etc) It's his friend, but you are his wife and lifemate, and it's up to him to protect you from all harm or unpleasantness if possible. He should put you ahead of all others. Try to turn it around so you and DH are working together toward a solution to friend's problem, you do the planning and he conveys it to his friend. And be sure to let him know how stressed you have been, how you felt abandoned in favor of friend, and how relieved you are that he understands and wants to set it right.

Yippie!!!! dancing a jig here...friend left this morning about an hour before I got up. Granted he left a "thank you for everything and take care" note in my coffee mug,but in person would have been nice...and he didn't even give the dogs a bye biscuit. Thanks for the ideas and support. Friend is not in any trouble..his Mother lives in Mass. and he just doesn't like cold weather. Spent the summer there helping her out and doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. He's headed farther south where he has friends and a cousin. Our place is just too small for extended visits especially with little or no help. Oh well,next time (and I know there will be) dh will just have to tell him up front a few days..week at the most or HE can summer in Mass. as well. Anyway,thanks again. :-)))))

you have a good week end Ginger and enjoy.

Was it Mark Twain who said "guests and fish are alike...after 3 days they both begin to smell"? I was beginning to think that you had the "Squatleys" on your hands, Ginger. (remember the old comic strip...Buz Sawyer...when Roscoe Sweeny's (who lived in Fla. by the way) friend Mr. Squatley, came to visit "for one night" and something always happened that kept him there all winter. AND didn't he have a daughter, Sagaious Squatley, who had eyes for Roscoe?). When I lived in Florida and anyone stayed more than 3 days...we refered to them as "The Squatleys"!! Congratualtions on your vacant room...Jo

Next time he comes to visit....find him a woman to keep him busy...instead of hanging out at your house....LOL. Works every time.

I agree with Gwydion. Take a vacation of your own. But don't stay too long at one place or your hostess could be talking about you on here. If they have to fend for themselves, he'll probably go back home. :)

Sounds like this guy has his whole itinerary set, doesn't it? Man!