Neighbors:how far to go to keep the peace and relationships

What sort of issues have cropped up with your neighbors?
Whether just a 'nod and wave' type of relationship, or the kind that comes for coffee and wipes your brow when you are ill.... ... maintaining relationships can be difficult.

Our latest:

Issue: We live along a private dirt road = .9 miles long.
Nine neighbors (the final piece just sold to a real estate salesperson for personal use and he has just cleared about 40 acres and no house yet) - the land sizes range from 2 acres to the 40 with most being around 11acres. (Our property is a tad less than three acres and is located towards the end of the .9 mile long road.)

The land agreement we signed states that the costs of maintaining the land be divided by all the owners (max 9 owners in this development) according to how many 'points' they have.... 'points' are generated one way only ---- land size. 1 acre= so many points depending if there is a house on it or not. No house less points assigned per acre.

The road is rutted. It was last serviced 7 (SEVEN!!) years ago...graded and graveled. One neighbor who bought 11 acres and then added 4 more from another neighbor to get a better 'solar' shot for energy has raised an issue about dividing the costs. He believes that since he is the only resident at his house and because he goes away each summer to teach that he has an unfair burden placed on him to share in the cost --just because his land size is greater.

He believes he travels the road less (he probably does.) He believes those of us with two or more people use the road more ( I don't agree with that... I carpool with hubby to work.) He believes that those closer to the entrance (although he is farther along the road than we are..second from the end actually) use less of the 'entire' road (of course they do ;0) He believes our neighbor that has not built yet has the least amount of responsibility since he is 'not there' ---although that owner has the largest piece -40 acres. He believes he has the 'next least' responsibilty since he is only there 9 months out of the year.

I responded to the 'group email' by saying that numbers of persons in the household or location of the physical entrance to the dwelling (where on the road situated) shouldn't matter.

Example: We had heavy propane trucks delivering gas to our house twice this winter .... our nearest neighbor has all electric. Our propane delivery took a greater toll on the road this winter as compared to the neighbor. This neighbor has tons of UPS deliveries -- we don't ---and so they used the road more for deliveries...etc. etc blah blah blah. Another neighbor has teens each with a private car... athletic activities, dating, after school jobs, and lots of travel in and out of the development -- yet they have the smallest piece of property and are closer to the entrance. So I don't think the numbers of people in a household should count in figuring road usage. The fella that cleared the land who does not have a house yet had very heavy trucks carrying huge trees and land moving equipment going up and down that road many times/day for three weeks.... That activity surely had an impact on the road ---it was particularly rainy during that period too.

I think this neighbors comments about 'fairness and equity' as related to land usage is what got to me. He was aware of the road agreement when he purchased same as all of us and when he added more land to his purchase. It says that ....cost of land to be shared and percentage of responsibility to be determined by land size and construction on the land. Why now is this not good? We took this into account when we made the offer on the land knowing we would be on a fixed income someday. I am not sure what the response to the email I sent will have with our 8 neighbors............. but............ I think the points he made to lessen his responsibilty have no strength behind them and I resent having to be put in the position to defend.... I am sure he believes his thinking is valid and I do emphathize with him. I am even willing to split the cost of this next repair 9 ways --- but it bothers me that he has raised these issues and I don't want to spread out the costs evenly 9 ways in the future. If there is an accident on the land or some other litigation -- I want to be on the lesser end of responsibility.

This message was edited Jan 30, 2011 4:07 PM

I think this is why there are rules. and that when there are rules they should generally not be challenged. Situations could change for any of the homeowners, and as you describe, they have changed at times already _the heavy trucks for land clearing VS what he will have in the future for the guy just building. So like you say, its known on purchase and should be accepted. For him to ask exception now is just getting cheap. He thinks too much. What if he decided to rent his house for the summer? Does he then pay you back? any one of you could nitpick it in a number of ways. Registered # vehicles/ number of persons/ number of drivers/length of road actually used....Your suggestion of splitting it nine ways now is the only resonable alternative I see too, for now, and only for this case at this time, not to change the whole method in the future.

Right - I worked for several years for subrogation attorneys and I know that if we (the neighbors) continually split nine ways and ignore the signed agreement --- if the UPS guy crashes on the road because the road wasn't graded properly and he hit a tree injuring himself and sued---- then an attorney would say there has been a pattern of equally assuming liability and we would all have to split 9 ways. Good for the folks with lots of 'points'/land and bad for us who have a little.

And regarding the cars. We have two cars. One is a pickup 2000 year with only 50,000 miles on it because we carpool and so only one car is regularly used (except for the weekly trip to the trash center) and so - it is like we are 'one' person household with regard to the car.

Of course. And then you might have a young family with only one registered driver or car, but four kids being constantly taken here and there.
Some people- him- just have to be annoying.

I know. But I wish that the issue would not have arisen---I feel defensive although I shouldn't. I would like to help him out -- and I guess all the neighbors with large parcels (the majority) are waiting with baited breath for the tide to turn.

What you've described, the acreage/point system, is pretty much the rule of thumb, m-rosie. And yep, at some point it seems someone will feel shafted in some respect...

One year on our road the people at the beginning of the road felt they paid too much for too little. Although the bill was split five ways most of the gravel/grading work was done on a particular uphill stretch, where the road was really gutted/rutted/ no gravel/muddy, etc, past the beginning of the first residence. Everyone paid their share but some were obviously felt negative.

On another occasion me and just two of the neighbors went in and had gravel placed on "our" section of the road, past the beginning-road neighbors because that part of the road was really terrible and the beginning of the road was just fine. It worked out fine.

In your case, what it comes down to is the agreement you all entered into, period. There should be no exclusion to number of cars or number of residents living in a house. (If there is any exclusion it would be nice if the new neighbor would offer to instigate road repairs once his trees are all hauled out, once the construction trucks are gone from his house building, etc. *grin)

As you know from your legal work, any changes to be made will require a neighborhood meeting, voting, legal papers drawn up to make the changes official, etc. I've found most folks consider that a hassle and although they'll spout off about things they have no interest in contributing their time to instigate the legal aspect of it. (Referring to your neighbor here, not you.)

Shoe (who hopes you will be out enjoying the 70º weather today, can you imagine!?)

I wish (out in the weather enjoying it) -- I am in the hospital --but just me the nicest couple and I've been able to help them with some major issues and I think I've done some good today. ;0)

Yea, I got an email (2) this morning that says 'for now we will discuss the current repair needs etc., and get estimates, and then by the end of the year maybe we can work out a change (?????) to the land agreement. This is after I just told everyone in an email a few days ago - that we may be willing to share equally in this last repair but would not consider a change to the present land agreement. The majority of the 9 have large tract it is just three of us that do not.

Of course all the ''large'' owners will want to change to benefit them. And the money they save with a new plan would probably pay for legal work.

I 'd make no promises to agree to change, maybe even plead my case that they all bought KNOWING what the agreement was, and are now trying to get LITLLE OL ME (you) to pay more after the fact- nicely- and wait for an estimate.

Oh I got it all down (my position) and why


I wish I could get rid of the feeling that I need to be 'neighborly' and accomodating and friendly etc. I actually feel sort of bad --- but on the other hand, putting myself on the other side --- I 'ought' to be feeling bad about asking a neighbor to assume hardship or liability when there is a legal agreement in place for many many years that I signed with full disclosure --- where are those feelings coming from the other side. (well to be there maybe there are those feelings..but I AIN"T FEELING IT!!)

Its not like any of them have said they have new hardships making them unable to pay. They sure have put you in a difficult position! Horseshoe says the agreement you have is common there, so its not like they signed up to something off the wall, unheard of.

You are right. But I guess it is a question of what might be starting out as "might as well ask...can't hurt to bring it up...and if the answer is 'no' there isn't any hard feelings" and will likely turn ugly and into "WHAT!!!!!" "You mean don't want to help me share the burden in the spirit of neighborliness?"

The thing is ..... when things degrade down like that ...... you end up with a road that NEVER gets repaired and when something big happens the disgruntled realllllly dig in. Look at what Horseshoe said -- he and a neighbor ended up just repairing their piece. It worked out fine (and that is good ;0) but we are at the far end of the road and if we just took care of the piece we actually drive over ........we'd be keeping up almost 3/4 of the road. I will let you know how it all works out --might be educational. (Also I will let you know how the ulcer care goes !!!!!! snort!!!)