Kids and cell phones

We've been discussing this a bit on the coffee thread, but I think it warrants a thread of its own. I would like to hear as many viewpoints as possible on this. My older guy is now in middle school and I am starting to think about when I will get him one.

As I said, there were already a few kids in his class with ones in first grade! Most of them seemed to be 'emergency' ones, but some were already calling each other (mostly girls - sorry!). Now, I would say most of his classmates in 5th grade have one and talk and text all the time.

When I get one for him, it will probably be the four emergency numbers deal, though he is not the type to chat needlessly anyway. Neither my wife nor I are phone people!

So I would like to heart the arguments - for emergencies, I can always contact them and know where they are, because of all the activities, etc. On the flip, they are too young, will be wasting time and money, will be texting instead of interacting with people - a big problem, we got along fine without them, etc.

A biggie for me that people don't even consider is their safety. I have been following this part of the story for years, and it's just like the controversy 20 years ago regarding proximity to power lines. Everyone who uses a cell phone should use a headset. I believe we will start to see serious medical issues in the years to come - when it's too late. It' emits (and receives) very small signals, but with any radiation, proximity is everything. These things are right NEXT to your brain!

Please join in.

Well I think your approach matches mine pretty much. I am also concerned about the health issues particularly with still growing children. Unfortunately either by necessity or design all the public phones have been eliminated. So for emergency communication there really is only the cell phone now. The only good thing about texting is that it is not held against the head when in use. Sorry don't get the thrill of a text message. All it says to me is this person does not want to be bothered with actually talking to the other person. Also with the advent of photo phones many things that can harm teens on both ends are happening. Parents should have a way to monitor and or limit what their children/teen is doing with a cell phone. Unfortunately responsible parents once again look like they are cheap or controlling when trying to compete with the keep up with the Jones people. JMHO.

Yes - forgot about the 'sexting' aspect. It's crazy and out of control. Seems they feel it's an absolute necessity to send nude photos of themselves. Creepy.

They must be informed that in many states even if they are consenting and underage they can be prosecuted for child porn and have to be registered for the rest of their lives as sex offenders. This is serious business and has already happened to several children in teen years. Most parents are not aware of this aspect and so cannot teach their kids the facts. Hopefully the word is getting out and parents will have a long talk with the kids on how destructive this behavior can be regardless of any law enforcement issues.

It's made news for months now so it amazes me that it's still done. Forgetting about the legal issues, why would you do it knowing that it will probably be sent to many people and may end up on the web?? Crazy stupid.

Yes exactly. Stupid!

I say let them enjoy it within reason, kids will be kids, this is their time, their technology, things are different now ( I don’t like a lot of the changes nowadays, but that’s because I’m from a different time, when the culture was different…) I wouldn’t make a big deal out of the cell phone though, (forbidden fruit is more tempting than ‘non- forbidden fruit’, etc.)
Besides, in ten years or so you’ll have to buy them a car, …then you can really start worrying! lol!

Most kids today dont have the moral standards older people have. I am going to talk about Jims kids. He has 4 and they are all adults now with young kids of their own. I had the 3rd oldest son since he was 11 and until he got out on his own. We will call him Joe.

Joe was allowed to drink under the age of 16 as Jim said it was better for him to drink at home and not to be out on the streets drinking. Joe has never been in any trouble with the law. Joe still drinks and gets drunk.

All of Jims kids have phones. They come to visit and what happens - the stupid phones go off and off and off and they text and text and text. Its an addiction like alcohol. If you come to visit PUT THE PHONE IN YOUR TRUCK OR CAR. If its an emergency, call as we have a land line. Have a little courtesy STUPIDS.

Joe comes to work on a car and fix it, he texts more than he works and the car dont get done on time.

Sad Sad Sad when the cell phone is more important then visiting your parents or anyone.

A friend of mine told me a similar story, of someone coming to visit them with a teen and all the kid did is sit in a corner and text. No interaction whatsoever with the humans in the room. I find it bizarre...you even see kids (and adults) walking down the street, texting. I love technology as much as the next person- love my computer, love my itouch....but the obsession with cell phones blows my mind. I rarely even use mine.

The weirdest thing is when you see a bunch of kids together and they're not even talking to each other - they're all looking down at their phones and texting. Crazy.

WC - it's way more serious than you make it sound.

and it not just kids.
2 years ago train accident - why? - The conductor was texting!

My niece is in the first grade and I can't even imagine her having a phone..or that in a few short years she'll be one of the legions of kids talking and texting away. I guess the main advantage for a a kid having a phone is for emergency use or being able to touch base with parents. Yes, most of us here managed to get by without them as children but times have changed and most would say cell phones have improved our lives because of the convenience. I saw a movie the other day that was set in the early nineties and a guy was using a pay phone. Do they even still have those?!

I'm not a parent and I have to say that in this regard, I really don't envy you guys! I guess if I was one, ideally I'd want my kid to have a phone available for emergencies, but with limits on the amount of calls and texts they made otherwise. But is there any way to even do that now? Either your kid will go over the limits and cost you a lot of $, or they have plans with unlimited texts that the kid will likely take advantage of to text all day long.

I believe you can prevent it.

Parents still should be in control of what goes on with their kids. I think all of people give in to their kids because they're afraid their kid won't like them anymore. I think when mine get older and I'm dropping them off somewhere where I'm not going to be that's when I'll want them to have one. If they are over someone's house though they can just use their phone to call home. Yes if you over someone's house you should consideration and not to talking/texting with other people, that's just rude.

And on the sexting....because they can is no excuse. We weren't taking polaroids of ourselves and mailing them to people. I think if the guy or girl is inclined to be a dirtball, skank or a slut they'll find a way to be vulgar no matter what.

Agree, Jen. (Note to self - destroy polaroids.)

rotfl

I bet that Etrade kid has one.

This one by Samsung is nice, you can have all the tel #s, (up to 1000), of all your classmates and take pics – and it has games and text messaging so that you don’t loose track of the social scene etc. It’s also 'Navigator compatible', (in case the child gets lost & has to find his way back home), calculator, alarm clock … a whole bunch of cool stuff!

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_00333482000P?vName=Computers+%26+Electronics&cName=Phones+%26+Communications&sName=Pre-Paid+Cell+Phones

Glad my son is grown & I don't have to make those kind of decisions anymore---he & his wife both have iphones, both are sort of techies----not sure if the kids will get phones when they enter school, but they are in a rural area, the HS is in a town pretty far away, so when that time comes, I feel they should have them---but by then, technology will have changed! I don't like the threat of the radiation---I feel it's a real threat, especially to children whose bodies can't absorb as much.

Victor, it sounds like you've already made your decision.

My son is 14 and he doesn't have a cell phone. His friends don't care. Once a girl pressured him to get one, but she could talk with him on the home phone, so no biggie. Like I said earlier, unless he's out on the town wandering, he doesn't need one. The school has a phone, all his friends homes have phones, the library has a phone. The school doesn't even allow kids to have phones there. If he stays after, he can still use the school phone for any reason. So what, he may have to wait in line. He doesn't go anywhere where he doesn't need one. Just now, he's old enough that I allow him to go out wandering without adult supervision. I give him my phone for those times. I have only 50 minutes a month on the phone, so he knows not to use it unless he broke his leg or something. There have been a few times I wish he had one, like if we're both out, and separate.

When I think back to my own childhood, I can't remember ever having to use a pay phone.

I used a pay phone to call my mom from Niagara Falls ... to tell her I drove there .. a friend and I decided to jump in the car and go 10:00 at night.. we were there by morning.. called mom .. dad grabbed the phone and said "you get home right now"... long story short .. we stayed for 3 days and came home

My granddaughter just got a cellphone for her 13th birthday. The primary reason my DS got her one was because all of her friends were maintaining social contacts through texting and she was really being left out since she couldn't participate. They have limited the numbers she can call and her texting also has a limit. However she is really preoccupied with the thing, and when she first got it her friends were texting her while she was trying to focus on her homework. I said something to her about it (she does her homework here after school) and she put the phone away, but when she isn't otherwise occupied she seems to text constantly. A colleague of DILs has a daughter who's three years older, and DIL finds her an invaluable source of guidance; she says that the texting eases off a bit but does continue to be a major means of teen communication and socialization. Sofonisba, I suspect it's very different when you're dealing with a girl, though.

Yes, they certainly seem obsessed with it. There will be an entire generation with non-functioning thumbs!

carpel tunnel, and tendonitis

Come to think of it, isn’t this the same thing? …I mean posting back and forth in DG?

We're not kids! (Well I am...)

… thing is society is forcing us to stay connected. If you work for a big corporation for example and you are needed on a spur of the moment basis then they outfit you with a PDA and a Laptop if you don’t have one already. If you work in the office and you move around a lot they outfit you with a portable phone for office use. I tell my DW one day people will get implants to stay in touch. On the flip side if you have a child you’d want him to be able to contact you in case of an emergency, and have as many options for help as possible, and it is part of this culture’s social networking as well… decisions, decisions.

But they need to have face to face social skills too!

Definitely!

I'll text that to my son to remind him.

Lol!

I think it is, WC. I find it very difficult to tell my son he has to put the ipod touch down and play with something non-electronic, when I'm glued to DG and Facebook.

g_g, true, it's probably worse for girls.

DS's friend already has carpel tunnel from video games. He won't stop playing and his parents won't make him stop.

Parents are parents. Kids are kids. Unfortunately, many, if not most, parents just let kids do whatever they want.

Not this parent. However, I'm feeling like maybe I'm too firm since my neighbor said I should have more kids and that might loosen me up. That stuck with me these last few days. Maybe I'm too hard on the poor boy.

If my mom, (God rest her soul), knew how much time I spent texting on DG she'd give me a scolding! lol!!

Yeah, I guess it is a losing battle to fight against technology. Even though I'm proud to say I rarely use the cell phone, and don't have a Facebook page (never will, either!), I do spend a lot of time on my computer or with my itouch...so if I had a kid, I imagine they would call me a hypocrite if I told them to lay off the cell phone/texting.

Middle school is a little early. I know ALL the other kids have them by now, Mom! I put my kids on their own cell phones when they started to drive and when the phone companies started up the family plans. Before that just me and my husband had them and this was 9 years ago, which is dinosaur times in regards to phones. No cameras, and not every kid had one. I think I only let my daughter take my phone once when she went with a friend and a friend's parent out to a concert at the Patriot's stadium while they were both in middle school.
Once they were older and on the road, we got them phones. we drive for work and that's why my husband and I got them in the first place. We had a couple of rules the first being, when mom or dad calls, you answer. If you don't we will assume you are dead on the side of the road and react accordingly. and if you aren't dead, you get phone privileges suspended.Also, proper use of the phone. if they had been caught using their phones for any of a variety of evil purposes, the phone would be gone. Never had to take a phone away. Also, never called them during band practice or a track meet either.
Check with your children's schools. Ours have a "no cell phone use in school" policy. Kids caught using phones in school get them confiscated to the office for the remainder of the day. They can bring them, they just can't use them. Kids caught using them during a test can be considered to be cheating and punished accordingly. All t;his only works if you stand up to your kids and enforce the rules.
Also, get the insurance. I water plants for a living and have killed several phones by dropping them in the water. My son closed his in the car door once and when he generously lent his phone to a stranger, had the guy steal it. The insurance is like 5-6 dollars a month per phone, but when disaster strikes, they replace them overnight.
It's like any other privilege. Only you know if your kid is old enough and responsible enough to be trusted with a phone. if you do, make the ground rules crystal clear and stick to them.
Hope this helps,
Martha

Sofonisba, I wouldn't worry about being too strict with your son. Does your neighbor have kids and how are they turning out? Kids really need structure and the knowledge that their parents care enough to watch over them. We find it does help to talk to other parents whom we respect and whose kids are doing well and seem to be balanced, but ultimately it's your call. It doesn't sound as though you're too strict if your son has friends and can do things with them. Only you know what your son is like and how he responds to his world!

I thought I'd share a link for anyone that is interested in phones for emergencies only. I drive a school bus and I remember one time being radioed by dispatch to have a child turn off their cell phone. I guess it was a type that she could not make actual phone calls but it had an emergency dial for mom and dad so they knew she needed them. I guess she accidentally hit the button somehow. I am not sure exactly how it worked but I'm pretty sure it had gps on it, so her parents could see her location. Most likely in case she was ever lost. So I googled kids phones and got this info http://www.gps-practice-and-fun.com/kid-phones.html
I did find that Disney no longer offers this phone service which is the service she had at that time.

I bought my son his first phone after he got a car and it broke down driving to work one night. He was around 17.
His freshman year at college, the prof told the kids to turn off their phones. So one kid dials the other as a joke. David asked him if he was in 6th grade.
It really bothered him that they didn't show any respect.