Will I ever be the same?

This morning while watching the local news they showed an interview with a beautiful young woman who survived the horrible attack. She was in the second tower and on the 13th floor when it crumbled to the ground. She and her best friend were trying to reach safety. They rode the rubble down holding hands, they held hands until the cement came falling on top of them, all went black and they lost each other. The young lady telling the story was trapped for 27 hours. Her best friend was never heard from again, presumed dead. So are her 15 other co-workers. The tears just ran down my face. I don't know if I will ever be the same.
I lay awake now alot at night. I sleep with my 3 year old most of the time because I want to enjoy every minute of her life. I fear she will not see her 5th birthday. I fear of chemical or other horrible things that can happen. I think about people that live in other parts of the world that live like this everyday of their life and shed even more tears. Why does this world have to be wicked? Why is there so much hate? I thought long and hard before we made a decision to have a child. I was almost 36 when I had her. My reason for not wanting to have children is that this world is so mean. I think now I feel bad for bringing her into this world because I can no longer protect her of the things that are to come. I dunno...I am just rambling I guess. I think I just finally needed to let it out. I wish peace for everyone. Please don't let this turn into a mean thread, I just needed to talk.

((((((((Lisa))))))))) I know how you feel. If I hear one more story about how the wife is waiting for the husband to come home so she can tell him she's pregnant, I think I will lose it for good. How truly heartbreaking this all is, and no, I don't think we will ever be the same. But if it changes us to where we take more time with our loved ones, remember to say I love you before going to the store, bite our tongue a little more often, things like that, then we will be changed for the better. My daughter is 19 and this is really scaring her too, what is to come for her little baby?
Let's just hold hands, and we'll make it together.

((((((Lisa))))))) I also know how you feel. Everyone is scared. My 28 year old daughter has a 4 yr old son and a baby girl due in Nov. She also is scared for her babies wondering what will happen. I never thought we would see this in my lifetime but it is here and we have to try to get through it.It is overwhelming to know that we cannot protect our loved ones from this boogie man in the closet as we could when they were little and a hug would make them feel protected.tiG is right. Extra love is needed here and we will all make it through this together.You are not alone.

I know Lisa - I sometimes don't even watch those stories. Yesterday I had The View on. Barbara Walters said she had attended a funeral the day before and that the Mayor of New York and the Governor were both there. She related that (and now I can't remember), that one of those men loudly sobbed. She felt that he probably "just had it" emotionally. I have started sleeping a little better at night. That first week, I would wake up several times during the night and couldn't fall back to sleep. My dd has several friends who are in the Marines and Navy. I can't imagine what their parents are going through at this time. I don't believe you should feel bad for bringing your dd into this world. There are still many wondeful things out there (including her mother!) As TIG suggested - let's hold hands and keep praying for each other!

Oh, Lisa! I can relate! The Thursday after the tragedy I stayed up all night ~ I couldn't sleep a wink despite trying everything I knew to get to sleep. About 4am I just gave up and got on the computer. I decided that I had to arm myself against my fear with knowledge. I researched the situation and all the "players." What I found made me feel lots better.

I agree wholeheartedly with tiG: "But if it changes us to where we take more time with our loved ones, remember to say I love you before going to the store, bite our tongue a little more often, things like that, then we will be changed for the better." ...and all those people will not have died in vain.

I too know how you feel lisa.MY DD went to work on MONDAY as a fill in ,and she found out the lady that's works the front desk brother was killed in the attack,that's close to home I to worry about what's to come and if we will ever feel safe again.
[[[[[[nana]]]]]

Oh Lisa I don't think we will ever be the same. I think you need a {{{{{{{{{{{{{{LISA}}}}}}}}}}}}}. Email me anytime you need to talk. I am pretty good at cajun!!!!

You can't imagine what it's like living here. First the endless progression of ambulences and aeromed and military coptors, ths sirens didn't stop for three days. Then the endless progressions of memorials, prayer vigils, and candle ceremonies, now it's an endless progression of hearses and lines and lines of cars with their lights on, all going to funerals....there are waiting lists at the funeral halls.

We're all numb from the neck up or at least we hope we will be. Nobody's sleeping right, we're all like zombies or automatons doing our jobs and living our lives. It's getting to the point where you don't want to talk to anyone because you'll hear about their lost ones. Everyone knows someone and you just don't want to hear those words or see peoples eyes.

No, it's not the same. Hubs is a subway electrician and he got transferred to a new site. He's lucky, some guys got furloughed or laid off. Our son turned 18 on September 16th, two days later his draft card arrived....I am disturbed by this.

Poojer

...i am so sorry Poojer, please know that my heart is really with all you folks. The pain is beyond words.

(((Lisa))) hutz and love across the miles. I've been crying off and on all day. I thought it was because I missed several days of anti-depressant letting my prescription run out, but I know it's that plus all the awful things going on; it's all just built to a head. The world can be scarey and awful, and right now there's no doubt of that. But, at the same time, beautiful and wonderful like it always has been. Finding a balance in this horrid dichotomy is our challenge right now. Like everyone else has said here, we need to lean upon one another and encourage each other. I hope you feel better, my friend. :o)

Love,
Kimberley

Justmelisa...I too can relate. I have an eight year old son, and a ten year old daughter. Trying to describe such a world is horrible enough. I hate telling a naive child (who should be that way for a while yet) how hateful some people are. But, life must go on. God hasn't given us the spirit of fear. He won't leave us. I think this has brought us all closer together as a country, and as families. However there are times when Im more short tempered than normal. I feel those doubts, and fears creep in. When I do it's time to keep busy...go shopping for plants, garden, or whatever. That helps me. Plus I just try and make the most of every day. None of us are promised a tomorrow. Im just glad to be alive today. Having a near death experience, or a bad illness can make you appreciate what life you are given. I had open heart surgery for severe arrhythmias at the age of 38. I am lucky to be here today. Lisa, try and count your blessings. Do a loving thing for another, give a hug, visit a friend, do a good deed...just reach out, not in. It will get better.

Thanks for this post and to all that posted. Reading the post made me think how lucky I am to be able to read these postings and the good advise each gave. I'm like gardenwife I had been missing the paxil even though I didn't take for depression it is for that.I take it for an erratic heart beat along with another drug. I'm sure it helps. I went back taking on a regular basic since this tragedy. I have no advise just wanted to say thanks to all. Jim

Yes, things are different now, it has really hit home - our home. I think of my five little grandchildren and wonder what they have in store. They must feel like my generation felt in the late 40's and 50's, that we would all be blown up by the "A" bomb and then came the "H" bomb. Lots of young folk's used this fear as an excuse tho to just do what ever they felt like. They'd say, "why not, we're all going to be dead soon anyway". This was during the "Cold War" era. Somehow we all got through it and most of that fear went away. I have hope that we will "catch the bad guys" and things won't always look so bleak. It is true that we have never had a shock like this to overcome. We can't go through life in fear tho, we must stay strong and live the best we can. We will only die once and we just need to be ready. God Bless us all.

Lisa, this is so difficult for everyone. In some respects nobody in the world will be the same again, in other ways life will go on as it always has. As you said, there are parts of the world where wickedness seems to prevail and suffering is commonplace.

But you know, as we all do, that this is not the normal manner of things in our world : thanks to the way it's been designed GOOD prevails, eventually, over evil. The strongest word in our lexicon is LOVE - Love is so much more powerful than hate or fear or despair or greed or any other of the negative feelings that we can all harbour within ourselves.

Why is the most powerful and lasting message ever given to mankind the one that basically says "Love one another" ?

I know that you have faith, we've spoken in the past as you'll remember. Now is the time for you to look into your own heart and use your faith in what is and what will be to bolster your strength. Your darling child is a symbol of the future of humanity and, as parents, our responsibility is to make sure that our children grow into the most balanced and HUMAN people they can possibly be.

The fact that there are evildoers out there is not new, what's new is the degree of horror with which they've attacked all of us. But the world hasn't really changed - if anything the fact that the whole of mankind (with a very, very, few exceptions) has been shocked by these cowardly and vile acts in fact makes me believe that we are (very slowly) improving and becoming, for want of a better word, "Godlier".

I may be an optimist but, hey, isn't there room for optimism on this planet ?

Hugs and love to you, as always

Jo

Lisa - I am phoning you later on today :-)

In our local paper yesterday, there appeared a photograph of a tourist who is standing on top of one of the WTC towers (the second one that was hit) posing for a photograph. At the background, we can see the city. And then, that areoplane very closely approaching that very building !! Obviously, that tourist must have 'gone' along with the one taking the pic. This camera was later recovered from the rubble and the film developed. This pic was sent by someone in America to his cousin here and this photo was published. I'll try to post this rare picture here.
Take care, JustmeLisa.

This message was edited Friday, Sep 28th 7:38 AM

Dinu, I think that picture is a hoax, I was reading here somewhere about it.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. Jo--what can I say gal, you always had a way of making me grin, thank you all for the heartfelt replies. Louisa, I will be in and out today..looking forward to hearing from you (as always)Hugs, LOVE and peace, Lisa

Wait till I post the newapaper photo.

Wait till I post the newapaper photo,probably on Monday.

Dinu - This picture is a hoax, read the link below. I posted this a couple of days ago on the thread "Hoaxes, don't believe all you see or read". There are so many false stories around, it's a shame there are so many "sickies" around. I fell for the picture too at first, it was September and hot - why would this guy have on a heavy coat and ski cap? Also, there was no observation deck on the WTC.

http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/blxterror.htm

This message was edited Friday, Sep 28th 9:56 AM

((((((((POOOJER)))))))))) - The last sentence in your post struck a chord with me!! Thinking of you and all the young who receive their draft papers. Let's hope and pray they won't be called up. God bless :-)

Lisa, none of us will be the same, and it will take a while for us to recover from this blow. In the meantime, we still have to live our lives for our children's sake if for nothing else. We have to make life normal for them, because they are too young to understand that life can be any different. For those of us with younger children this is what we have to do. For older children, now is a good time for a history/geography/current affairs lesson. It's a hard way to learn, but learn it they will.

What a Senseless tragedy.

Lisa, hang in there, I'll be thinking about you

Yes, Azalea, that was the photo that appeared here in the local paper. I have just now sent that page by e-mail to the newspaper. We can never believe things these days unless they are in "flesh & blood".

Dear Lisa...hugs to you....I was having nightmares so I had to quit watching the stories. I limit myself to 15 minutes of news a day just to keep up with what is going on but I cannot deal with the stories. Call it denial or whatever, I just can't watch. I cry and then have nightmares. I have never seen anything this horrible in my life. Faith and Prayer. I pray and pray and I have faith that God will take care of us. And I pray each day for all of you in the garden. God Bless........vic