But you did is so beamishly!
I Have (Demi) Divine Socks!
I NEVER eat bugs...knowingly. At least since the salty, fried meal worms....
Hi MissJestr!
MissJ - I was at Zumba last night (Latin dance exercise class). I danced a lot there, but no cameras...
Thank you Catscan. I've been practicing my beamishness.
Then we went to Applebees because Kelly is a veteran and they were doing free meals for veterans. I think I rendered the dancing calorie loss pointless as a result.
Grownut: Would you wear socks like these? They are barely there, really....and definitely non-confining...
EWWWW I have heard of chocolate covered bugs, but that is NOT happening in my life...
Hi Catscan..... Hope all is well
Claire, I was hoping to get more pictures of you doing the dance.
I only let Kelly take a few pictures you see. It's a highly secret Dance of the Barnyard Fairy. I can't let too much detail out. It could result in barnyard pandemonium...
Twas brillig and the slithey flan did gyre and gymbal in the wabe
All mimsey were the borogroves
And the momewraths outgrabe with their little spoons
Okay, guys, that's my version but it's still not the HEROIC version. Let's have it!
Claire, those sox are truly impressive. I do hope it's warm where you are, though; it makes me cold just to see them, lovely though they are...
They aren't on me. They are in a pattern book. It was....an "idea" moment...
And to be clear, the flan shouldst never be slithey...
I was thinking of Arthur Rackham's elves:
http://www.klingarts.com/pp/rackham/rackham_05.html
Oh quite! I was thinking of the Lord of the Rings sort and being unable to see the connection.
To be sure, the flan shouldst be translucent if not opaque, yet never clear! And mine is ALWAYS slithey....
I am most relieved to know that those sox are not fit fleetingly on thy foot; it didst give me the shivers only to look upon them.
You see, G_G, it went a bit like this.
The Divine Barnyard Fairy (hereinafter DBF) noted that she had a surfeit of eggs. Thus didst she quest forth, and find recipes, for little egg custards, and also for a creme brulee pie, which became known near and far as "flan" because most people didn't do the bruleed sugar part. (forgive me, I forget how to do the accented e on my keyboard). And thus, the DBF didst share her custard and flan recipes, and there was rejoicing in the streets....Bacchanalia really. A complete abandonment of decorum. And then, it was determined by a DBF Cohort (namely Catscan) that the flan recipe could be toyed with, by substitutions, such as cocoa for the flour (which formed the magic crust during baking) and the addition of honey and nutmeg and such. Thereupon, there was much anguish and gnashing of teeth, because some members of the clan didst not have such surfeit of eggs. Indeed, some were forced to buy their eggs from the GROCERY store! Horrors!! And their eggs produced a pale and wanting flan. And such began a sulk fest, the likes of which had never been seen, between the flanners and the non-flanners. It was dreadful and debilitating. And thus was the Bacchanalia reduced. And the sulk fest became prolonged, such that supports had to be sent in to relieve the sulkers, who had cold feet on account of being sulky.
Catscan, what am I forgetting?
Oh, well I did not mention the part whereupon the Benevolent and Gracious Divine Sock Goddess didst take pity upon the poor flanless masses, and decided to rectify the situation...
I think that is the gist of it, and well stated. - But back to the chicks: they were hatched with normal chick fuzz and only assumed their current nudity when the adult feathers (or lack thereof) started coming in?
The socks dear Moxon..the socks...
For, it was during the days of the First Great Flan War, that a soon to be wandering poultry woman spied some...unusual...socks being made. Which were in the magical colours of the Barnyard Fairy. Now this was meant to be a secret...as are all Divine Mysteries...but the STBWPW did not keep the secret..indeed she posted in a thread...the aforementioned "Divine Sock Thread" (which see). Soon there was a clamouring in the land, and a Pilgrimage of the Sock began--with local populaces thronging the various Postal Way Stations of the Socks....
When the Divine Sock finally reached its destination in the Naval of North America, Iowa, it was revealed to all. And some, not being satisfied with the great, errrr..great fortune...of the High Priestess of the Barnyard, Channeler of the The BF...or Moxon, as she is commonly known, began to murmur and foment additional rebellion. Not only were they dissatisfied with store bought eggs, but they also required socks....though not being worthy of the finally twined Divine Foot Garment, the most they could aspire to were Demi-Divine socks. And a secret cabal was joined by five stalwart malcontents, who vowed to sulk, sustained by whatever flan they could procure, until they too possessed socks...not Divine Socks, but Demi-Divine socks...and the hour of their fulfillment has come. Soon all will be rewarded.
Now let us quote the great High Priest of Dispair, Nick Cave:
"Be mindful of the prayers you send
Pray hard but pray with care
For the tears that you are crying now
Are just your answered prayers"
Any questions?
Am I wrong to suspect Munchhausen by Proxy?
Has anyone searched for tweezers.....
AHH, the inspiration for the colo(u)rs is revealed!
Well....we did leave out the Era of the Aura....
Oh, yes...another source of color selection.
My most humble obeisances in thankfulness for the telling of this wondrous tale, O Catsy and Moxie and Pal {{somehow Porky didn't strike quite the right note....}}. All that remains, dear friends, is the receipt for said crême brulée, since I too have upon occasion gnashed my teeth due to a dearth of refrigerator space when said device was crammed to the gills with hen fruit. Couldst reprise said receipt along with the variations thereof, or else refer the earnest seeker after truth to the proper thread?
How kind of the assembled group to succor and appease the sulking ones. I might have been tempted to send them off to bed without flan!
LOL!!!!!!!!
MY feeties tell me to send a bid thank you and are yelling at me to lean how to crochet sockies for them so they can stay warm every day.
Oh the divine flan recipe gave us substance while we were sulking for the divine socks.....What a great time had by all. I will be creating a few flans for thanksgiving the night before, that is my contribution for the celebration... Billy was the one who put the chocolate in the bottom of the pan, he did it while my back was turned, and it did ah a divine touch to the crust... I drank all the Mexican Kahlua or I would have tried that in the recipe... I still might if the Kahlua Fairy seem it should be a good idea..
Dear Wren,
Please have your feet see the following....
Thank you,
DBF
YARN
MODA DEA Sassy Stripes, 1.76oz/50g balls, each approx. 135yd/147m (acrylic)
3 balls #6946 Crush (For all sizes; for foot larger than women’s size 9 shoe, you may need additional yarn)
(or choose your own yarn!!)
CROCHET HOOK
Sizes D/3 (3.25 mm) and E/4 (3.5mm) crochet hooks or any size to obtain correct gauge
NOTIONS
3 stitch markers
Yarn needle
Sizes
91⁄2"/24 cm foot to cuff
7 (73⁄4, 83⁄4, 91⁄2, 101⁄4)"/18 (19.5, 22, 24, 26) cm leg circumference and foot circumference
Note: All measurements are for sock folded flat and not stretched.
gauge/tension
19 1⁄2 hdc and 14 1⁄2 rounds = 4"/10 cm using size E/4 (3.5mm) crochet hook
Remember to check gauge for best results!
abbreviations
ch : chain(s)
dec : decrease(ing)
hdc : half double crochet
lp(s) : loop(s)
rem : remaining
sc : single crochet
sl st : slip stitch
st(s) : stitch(es)
* : Repeat directions following * as many times as indicated
long single crochet (Lsc) : Insert hook in indicated st in indicated row below, yarn over, draw up a long lp up to level of working row, yo and draw through both lps on hook.
sc 2 stitches together (sc2tog) : Insert hook into next st, yo, draw up a lp] twice, yo and draw through all 3 lps on hook.
instructions
How to make a gauge swatch
With E/4 (3.5mm) hook, ch 22.
Row 1 Hdc in 3rd ch from hook and each ch across to end - 20 hdc.
Row 2 Ch 2, turn, hdc in each st across. Repeat last row 13 more times, for a total of 15 rows. Fasten off. Resulting gauge swatch should measure approx 4"/10cm square. If necessary, adjust hook size to obtain correct gauge.
Notes
1 When using self-patterning yarn, be sure to begin each sock with the same color sequence.
2 Rounds are worked in continuous spirals. Unless otherwise instructed; do not join rounds, do not turn and do not ch 1 at beginning of round. Use stitch marker to track rounds.
SOCK (make 2)
cuff
With D/3 (3.25mm) hook, ch 11.
Row 1 Working in back hump of chain, sl st in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch to end - 10 sl st.
Row 2 Turn, ch 1, working in back lps only, sl st in each sl st across. Repeat Row 2 until piece measures 6 1⁄2 (7, 7 1⁄4, 8 1⁄4, 9)"/16.5 (18, 18.5, 21, 23)cm. Do not fasten off.
Leg
note leg rounds are worked in continuous spirals. Unless otherwise instructed; do not join rounds, do not turn and do not ch 1 at beginning of round. Use stitch marker to track rounds.
Round 1 Pivot cuff to work along long edge; work 34 (38, 42, 46, 40) sc evenly spaced along edge; join with sl st in first sc to form a circle - 34 (38, 42, 46, 50) sc. Change to E/4 (3.5mm) hook.
Round 2 Hdc in same st as join, place marker to mark beginning of rounds, hdc in each sc around; do not join - 34 (38, 42, 46, 50) hdc.
Round 3 Hdc in each hdc around; do not join - 34 (38, 42, 46, 50) hdc. Repeat Round 3, moving round marker up with each round, until piece measures 6 1⁄2"/16.5cm from beginning (including cuff). Flatten piece so that seam of cuff is at side edge. Work hdc in each st to a side edge, making sure that seam will end at inside of leg when sock is finished. Do not fasten off.
Heel
Row 1 (wrong side) Turn, ch 1, sc in next 17 (19, 21, 23, 25) sts; leave remaining sts unworked (for top of foot) - 17 (19, 21, 23, 25) sc.
Row 2 (right side) Turn, ch 1, sc in first 2 sc, Lsc in next sc 2 rows below, *sc in next sc, Lsc in next sc 2 rows below; repeat from * to last 2 sts, sc in last 2 sts - 17 (19, 21, 23, 25) sts.
Row 3 Turn, ch 1, sc in each sc across.
Row 4 Turn, ch 1, sc in first 2 sc, Lsc in next Lsc 2 rows below working into the V of the st, *sc in next sc, Lsc in next Lsc 2 rows below working into the V of the st, repeat from * to last 2 sts, sc in last 2 sts.
Repeat Rows 3 and 4 until heel measures 2 3/4”/7cm. End by working a wrong side row. Do not fasten off.
Heel turn
Row 1 (dec row - right side) Turn, ch 1, sc in first st, sc2tog twice, sc in each st to last 5 sts, sc2tog twice, sc in last st - 13 (15, 17, 19, 21) sts.
Row 2 (dec row) Turn, ch 1, sc in first st, sc2tog, sc in next 3 (4, 5, 5, 6) sts, sc2tog 1 (1, 1, 2, 2) times, sc in each st to last 3 sts, sc2tog, sc in last st - 10 (12, 14, 15, 17) sts.
Row 3 (dec row) Turn, ch 1, sc in first st, sc2tog, sc in next 0 (0, 3, 4, 4) sts, sc2tog 0 (0, 1, 1, 2) times, sc in each st to last 3 sts, sc2tog, sc in last st - 8 (10, 11, 12, 13) sts.
Row 4 (dec row) Turn, ch 1, sc in first 3 (4, 4, 5, 5) sts, sc2tog 1 (1, 2, 1, 2) times, sc in last 3 (4, 3, 5, 4) sts
- 7 (9, 9, 11, 11) sts.
Row 5 Turn, do not ch 1, sc in each st across - 7 (9, 9, 11, 11) sts. Do not fasten off.
Gusset
Note: Gusset rounds are worked in continuous spirals. Unless otherwise instructed; do not join rounds and do not ch 1 at beginning of round. Use stitch marker to track rounds.
Round 1 (right side) Pivot work to work along side of heel flap, work 15 (15, 17, 17, 18) sc evenly spaced along left side edge of heel flap, hdc in first hdc of top foot, place marker in hdc just made (first gusset marker), hdc in each of rem 16 (18, 20, 22, 24) top foot sts, place marker in hdc just made (second gusset marker), work 15 (15, 17, 17, 18) sc evenly spaced along right side edge of heel flap, hdc in 7 (9, 9, 11, 11) heel sts, place marker to mark beginning of rounds - 54 (58, 64, 68, 72) sts.
Round 2 (decrease round) Hdc in each st to 2 sts before first gusset marker, sc2tog, hdc in next hdc replacing marker, hdc across to second gusset marker, hdc in next hdc replacing marker, sc2tog, hdc in rem heel sts - 52 (56, 62, 66, 70) sts. Repeat Round 2, decreasing 2 sts and moving all markers up on each round, until 34 (38, 42, 46, 50) sts rem. Remove gusset markers. Do not fasten off.
Foot
Round 1 Hdc in each hdc around - 34 (38, 42, 46, 50) hdc. Repeat Round 1 until foot measures 2"/5cm from longest toe, measured from back of heel. Remove round marker. Do not fasten off.
Shape toe
Fold sock, making sure that heel is centered to back. Place markers at each side edge. Move markers after each round to keep at side edges of sock.
Round 1 (dec round) Sc in each st to 2 sts prior to first side marker, sc2tog, sc in each st to 2 sts prior to next side marker, sc2tog, sc in next st (partial round to set up toe).
Round 2 Sc in each st to 2 sts prior to first side marker, sc2tog, sc in next st, sc2tog, sc in each st to 2 sts prior to next side marker, sc2tog, sc in next st, sc2tog - 28 (32, 36, 40, 44) sc. Repeat Round 2, laying sock flat and moving
markers with each round to keep markers at the side edges of the foot, until 16 (16, 16, 20, 20) sts remain. Fasten off. Repeat for second sock.
FINISHING
Sew toe closed. Sew closed seam at cuff opening. Weave in ends.
Or try these....
http://www.crochetandknitting.com/socks.htm
DBF thanks you I added them to my patterns---3 more weeks before I am allowed to use the right arm fully.
A truly tomic recap of the drama of the devine and semi-devine sockies! The Era of the Aura was a momentous occassion too. Many flockless and flanless, and flocked and flanned were discovered to be silvery sparkley peoples who laugh like tinkling, shimmering silvery bells. Methinks these are important dotes to note. Also what praytell is a gusset? Sounds hazardous. No wonder Cousin Grownut declines to wear sockies!
Gussets are the Marianas Trench of Sock making....the deepest and most profound experience that sock construction provides.
Still, I do not believe that socks can be crocheted...of course I don't believe in crochet on principle--since I can't do it.
And for the same reason--I don't believe in quadratic equations.
Absolutely not. Similarly, I do not believe in any form of calculus, especially multi-variable calculus.
well i can not knit but can crochet--i guess when my shoulder and arm get all healed up i will have to return the favor (?) and crochet you a pair of socks. LOL
In that case, Catscan, I'll bet you were good at geometry.
Moxon; an impressive set of instructions! Quite enough to put me off crocheting for life.
Ah, the guilt. We selfishly sulked in solidarity, fueled by flan, coveting the divine sock, and our sock-envy was rewarded! Repent! It is not too late to admit the error of our ways. Can we be forgiven our acquisitiveness? (Just don't make me relinquish the Divine Socks.)
Edited to add that I see Wren shares my sense of guilt and debt, whatever can I do to atone?
This message was edited Nov 13, 2009 11:11 AM
you have not seen my crocheting yet!!!! More like a way to make everyone laugh. LOL
Why yes, I was quite good at Geometry and the sweetly titled, Pre-Calculus.
Those make sense.
Confession: I do now sleep with the orphan chick, on occasion...I feel guilty about it, because, as Moxon so rightly pointed out, it would be easy to overlay the tiny thing....but it peeps so pitiously at 3:00 AM, that, to save it from the wrath of DH, I have taken it to my matronly breast--right under my sweatshirt near my collar bone. It goes quiet immediately and sleeps the sleep of the innocent. I am thinking of getting a reptile heat rock and covering it with toweling, a la Harlow and the rhesus monkeys, to see if that will satisfy its need for warmth and contact while still in the box.
Now, is anyone video taping Moxon and the featherless chicks?....I still have grave suspicions.....
This message was edited Nov 13, 2009 3:01 PM
Awww...that is just about the most adorable thing I have ever heard. How sweet. But I think it needs a little knitted sweater, don't you? Apparently some people use mop heads (clean, new ones) hanging low in a chick enclosure to simulate a mother hen, and the chicks go under the mop head to sleep. You could try same.
The featherless checks are well, but continue to be featherless. There is no evidence of tweezers, I assure you. I have considered wandering the barnyard picking up the molted feathers of their brethren and gluing them on, but I doubt this would be entirely effective.
I've heard featherdusters are great mother substitutes for chicks and ducklings too. I've read, for ducklings anyway, that if you only have one to put a mirror in with it and it will think it has a friend; I don't know if that works for chicks as well.
Catscan, I think that you should definitely try Loreen's method, and I think that you should tuck an egg into the same spot by your collarbone and incubate it thusly, thereby giving your lonely baby a friend.
Back to socks....have any of you sock knitters ever heard of the 'hat heel' techinque? I think I will try it when I make my next pair; I still need to finish my first pair....I have one done and the second one started.
http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEfall09/PATThatheel.php
Oh yes, oh yes! Catscan and I discussed it over on Ravelry. I want to try it also!
I see it has the hazardous gusset too.
I keep forgetting about Ravelry, I need to put up a reminder note.
OH Catscan I could so hug you about now if my arms could reach... I am the proud owner of the Most Divine socks (and in my opinion a sunny smile to make things all better )in the most wonderful sunny yellow and green..Pictures will be posted tomorrow, The camera battery is charging...
Back to the reason I needed a smile part.
Billy and I were feeding the chickens and ducks and then were going to the post box. I heard my Gracie horse scream, and knew something was wrong. I came out of the bird area to see my beloved Mustang Chyanne running full steam towards the road, and traffic coming both ways. Mind you I am on the other side of the arena from her, and even if I was wonder woman, would not reach her before she got to the road. This Big Yellow truck came down the road, honked his horn and scared her back before she could get to the road. Then she came down the drive, where people were behind her shutting the fence and yelling. I turned to make sure Billy jumped in the back of the truck as she flew by giving a little kick out as she passed.
I ran to get the halter, stumbling over rocks and praying she would not hit the desert on the other side and be lost.
I cornered her up in the boarding stable area where she decieded to get into it with an appy of all things.
As I approached her, I wished I had a rope so I could rope her, but knew that one swing would send her running.
I finally made my move and caught her around her neck, where she promptly stepped on my foot. I haltered her and as I rounded the corner, there was my Cowboy safe in the truck telling me Good gob cowgirl.
She is in a temp pen for the night, I have to mend fences tomorrow after Billys Final Jr Rodeo..
So as I limped down to the store, and was telling them she was up for the night, Miss Connie told me I had a package. BEHOLD the wonderful soft package I held in my hands with the divine name of Catscan...
OH OH OH... My sore feet were forgotten as I opened them right there on the spot. I showed everyone in the store my new Divine Socks, I allowed them to feel the softness of the yarn, and feel the love that radiated from them...
I am now home, stripped of my boots and my feet are happily encased in my divine socks (and my hand on a beer for the pain) ... I have happy feet.
Thank you so much Catscan, they are truly a WORK OF ART......
First off.. I have to catch my breath from laughing.. this is the bestest thread ever!
Then I have to mention the awesome sunset coming into Kingman last night MsJestr!!! It was amazing! I was sending a wave to you and Billy...
I long for Flan... divine socks... fresh eggs..........OH FRESH EGGS!!!!
Catscan, that was the sweetest thing to cuddle that chick! I agree with Claire, you need no incubator for those Serama eggs.. Just stuff um under your sweater.. LOL
PS... I'm in Calif.. getting ready to head to North Carolina... it's so hard to be this close to home.. :