Horseshoe's Dentist Story

I thought you'd want to hear this straight from the Horse(shoe)'s mouth. Poor fella!

How am I you ask!? Dental visits are absolutely NO FUN!
It took just over an hr to do ONE root canal! A wide-mouth bass would've been proud to have a mouth opened as wide as mine for such a long period of time! (My jaw bone nearly refused to close when it was all over with!) NO fun! Avoid the dentist at all costs! First he tells me to relax...all is fine...just "RELAX". He shot me in the mouth w/a bazooka syringe, several times...then there was pain! OUCH!!! Then he told his assistant "it's okay, we hit a nerve".

"WE!"? WE!? I had nuthing to DO with it! (WE!!? I didn't stick that awful thing in me!)

I was sitting there so nervous I's shaking like a constipated dog pooping razor blades! (Ya ever seen them geriatric dogs squatting and shaking?) And he has the gall to say "We"! (If I coulda talked I would've!) And by the way, I was NOT "RELAXED"! NO FUN!

Reason I couldn't talk is cuz they got it down to a science. After shootin' my mouth numerous times with that bazooka they stuck this rubber blanket "over my tooth", or so they said....however, it not only covered my tooth, but the REST of my teeth, my upper lip, my lower lip, and pulled hair from my beard! That rubber blanket was an
invader! My tongue was nowhere to be found! Even the powerful team of Air and Oxygen had a hard time looking for my lungs, or so it seemed. NO FUN!

I hung on for dear life, and stayed in the restraint... I mean chair.

All kinds of tools appeared. Zingers! Sanders! Wet/dry vacuums! More Zingers! More Sanders...then a Heat Gun! All I heard was, "Gimme a 17.5 millimeter...now a 20...let's try a 25 millimeter, hopefully we'll get to a 30!"...all the while the 'second-in-command' would hand over special-issue tools ranging from "root files" to "clean-outs"... and encourage the Dentist on! (Again, I'se shakin' like that a-fore-mentioned dog.)

One of the next things I heard was the dentist singin' along to a song coming thru on the speaker system. Sittin' here right now I don't remember that first song...but when he went into "Heard it Thru the Grapevine" I nearly lost it. (I think that was when his assistant started
harmonizing along with him.)(I have a feeling they both know not to give up their day jobs.)

I couldn't even plug my ears...couldn't pull my hands apart...fingers were so tighly laced and hands wrenched together I was near 'bout afraid to even pray for fear of hurting our Father. (And, by the way, SOMEONE told me they'd pray for me at the designated time of this appt ...am wondering if SOMEONE overslept!)* Hmmm....

Anyway...after all that mess going on, the smell of burning teeth, the ramming and the jamming of filling material, two Xrays, and then the soothing words of how "you did really good, considering it was a hard tooth to get to"....and then told to go home, eat Ibuprofin (which makes me throw up!) and "call us when you want the other TWO done"...well, I guess I should just say it equals to the time when...when...well, I probably should save that episode of my life for another time.

Hope ya'll are well. (I'd post this but perhaps we need more positive stuff at DG right now!)

*smile* *grin*

Your friend, Horseshoe


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* BTW, I did oversleep, but I prayed for Shoe last night, and we know God is omnipresent and timeless, so I know He was still with our buddy!

:o) Kimberley

ROFL - Kimberley thank you over and over for this - it is quite priceless and I am just crazy about this Shoe of ours. But the poor man, I hate the dentist too. When are you going to write that book Shoe?????

OUCH!! I knew there was a reason I puttin' off that root canal!

ROFL Poor thing. Now I know why I had all mine pulled and got false teeth. :)

yikes!!!!!!

Thank you GW' Now I know why I won't get a root canal'I know what roots are and have dug my share of canals,lol''Got weak just readin' it' Whew,poor Shoe'

They're pulling all but the top 2 in front.

Reminds me of the story which is claimed to be true, but sadly probably isn't.

The young girl in the dentist chair looks at the dentist bending over her, smiles and, grabbing him firmly but carefully between the legs says :

"Now, we're not going to hurt each other, are we?"

Perhaps you could try that next time......


Jo

Well now, that was pretty much the way mine went, too. I'd have sworn I had the chair all to myself...

This message was edited Thursday, Sep 20th 1:46 PM

Oh no - Oct 1 is my scheduled root canal! Oh and did they ask for the mortage to your house before they even scheduled you? And I just love it when they say "this may be a little uncomfortable. Yeah right - the first time I heard that I was in the gynecologists office (won't to into details here) - I actually saw stars. So do not tell me this will be a little uncomfortable - just say "this is gonna hurt!"

OH SHOE! I offer sympathy to you! Glad to see that they didn't drill in so deep they hit that fountain of humor of yours! Fraid we'd have to do a mass attack with the laughing gas to patch you up again! :) I hope your ordeal is over soon and you feel better.

HorseShoe......next time take a sledge hammer with you....

"eyes"

Phooey....I can't stand to get my teeth cleaned never mind other stuff!!! Heading for the Advil just reading this...mush for dinner tonight.

hahahahah you are priceless!! how true though!!
They are getting into lazer dentistry over here!! what they want to blind us as well????

Have you seen the size of the needles???? man! i am outa there!
My last dentist ate garlic the night before and muttered to himself!

poor baby..... feel sorry for ya XX

Laura

Horseshoe thinks we need something positive here. That was positively hilarious! My dentist always says "let me know any time you're not having fun".

MaryE..methinks your dentist goes by the name Dr. deSade?

That sledgehammer...Is it a general anesthesia for Shoe, or a weapon of self defense for Shoe? Or for the dentist -- yikes!!

;D