My pity party !!

Yesterday, I was trying to work in my yard but because of physical limitations I had to stop and just sit; I was feeling so sorry for myself! . Why can’t I work at the same pace I did just a couple years ago, I groaned in self-pity.

Last night , I realized had I not been forced to just sit for a while I would have missed so much.

Would have paid little attention to a pair of cardinals that kept checking the feeder, the doves that flew in to pick up spilled seeds, or the very first swallowtail butterfly of the season, or the dozens of sparrows that kept trying to get me to leave the area so they could feed.. That little chameleon seemed to be supervising my sit sessions, and the beautiful pair of blue birds that are returning to nest box for the fourth year in a row. Those four squirrels don’t mind at all that I am sitting not 25 feet away as they play across the tree roots . For the first time three hummingbirds visited my feeders, for weeks there had only been one.

Walked to stretch and noticed--several daylilies are showing scapes -- yet my main show is a month off. Hey, overnight the iris have pushed out bloom stalks. They’ll be in bloom in a week, the banksias rose is in full bloom…………….

Placing newspaper down to cover with mulch a section with the headline: Live it up in the Garden Caught my attention; I remember smiling a “yeah, right smile”, still wallowing in self pity, surveying the ten foot border that had been over an hour’s project.

In retrospect, shortsighted of me! Being out in the warm spring Carolina sun , observing the abundance of nature on a lot right in the middle of town, I am blessed; my spirits begin to rise. Tomorrow, there’s more mulch to spread, more discoveries . Know what ? It is possible to Live it up in the Garden.

Gessie: Those of us who have aged some have all had our pity parties! I know I'm guilty, but even though there are days when I don't feel as though I've accomplished very much, there are others when I'm amazed by what I have gotten done. Like you, it's nice sometimes to just sit and observe. I'm too often guilty of plunging in and doing things in a hurry, just to get them done, when a little thought and sitting might have offered a better plan or arrangement, so I end up redoing some of my hard work.

I'll try to live it up in my own garden!

Wonderful Essay!
Gessie, you should submit that to the Garden section of the State Newspaper - it is a wonderful reminder that we need to slow down, because there is so much that we miss otherwise.
I felt like I was there with you!

Thank you for brightening my day!

Lorie in Whitehall

gessie, that is beautiful. You could have been writing that about me. My DGD and I planted 9 plants the other day and I was so tired. There are 2 more plants sitting in the bed that are still in there pots. I feel guilty that they are not in the ground. I could have planted them yesterday but I just wanted to sit on the swing and watch mother nature. It is raining today so they will have to sit there until tomorrow. You should send that to the news paper. Smokey in Piedmont

I love this thread, as I, too, have been bemoaning my inability to do what I did at 20. Had to pay kids from the church to spread mulch for me this year, but, hey, the silver lining is that they got an exposure to gardening, had a great time, I got to know them, and they made some money for a trip. So there you go! Besides....we have wisdom!! And every bit we can do keeps us healthier, both physically and mentally. Nothing better than sittin' in the garden in Spring!

excellent comment, yote, and you should read the book "Last Child in the Woods". We opwe it to our community to get these kids outside.

I agree. Have you noticed that most kids these days have a spare tire around their middles? Even the skinnier ones? Remember when we were growing up and we all had waists and if you were thin, you looked a lot like Olive Oyl? You never see kids with waists now and that's bad. It's from all the fast food and sitting in front of TV, computers and no phys. ed. at school. TV is one of the most abused inventions that ever happened to modern life. We need to turn off the TV, limit time on the computer (as I sit here typing away LOL) and get the kids outside to enjoy nature and be more active.

Okay. Someone else's turn on the soapbox.

It is so good to read the positive responses to my post.

There is so much more to gardening than putting plants into the ground, cultivating and watching them grow. In gardening we are reconnected to the past and connected to a hopeful future. We remember Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, Daddy, smiling, remembering the day we felt we would be forever full of energy--forever young.
We have gained wisdom. Feeling the soil between our fingers (and even our toes) we are reminded that somethings do go on forever, and maybe, just maybe, our legacy will live on in the minds and hearts of others cultivating this very soil years from now.

It's not just TV and video games, it is a societal shift away from Nature, turning the outdoors into something to be feared and avoided. Kids are not allowed to play outside because of the Bogeyman Syndrome. We are isolated from our neighbors, and so we think our kids will be snatched unless we watch them like hawks because we do not have the sense of community (we never got away with anything when I was a kid, because Mrs. Johnson always knew and she would tell our mom in a heartbeat - and my mom always listened to her and did not tell her to mind her own business). We structure their every movement and so they do not have time to sit under a tree and be bored and watch ants carry leaves or see carrion beetles bury a mouse or make fairy wreaths for imaginary friends.
The neighborhoods that we live in do not allow kids to play in a vacant lot (too much liability), or play a game of pickup baseball where it does not matter who wins or loses. (It is there that we learned that if you cheated, no one would play with you. If you whined, you were called a baby and you learned to tough it out. Helicopter moms and dads did not swoop in and rescue you if you scraped a knee and tell the "mean kids" that they have to play with you. Your friends took care of that and you took care of your friends.)
All of us had an outdoors "sulking place". Mine was under the hedge in the neighbor's yard- I could see the front door of my house, but I thought that no one could see me. The smell of leaves, the sound of the breeze, and the dappled sunlight still relax me and I am transported.
I feel so sorry for kids today.
Check out this
http://tinyurl.com/cr649x
and this article on what Richard Louv terms "Nature Deficit Disorder" and then get a kid outside and working next to you in the garden.
http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/240/
and then google it http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Nature%20Deficit%20Disorder&btnG=Google+Search

This message was edited Apr 14, 2009 5:37 PM

Pyro: You are right on. Did anyone besides me ever read the book years ago titled "Where did you go? Out. What did you do? Nothing"? I don't recall the author's name offhand, but I still have my paperback copy. It has lost its cover and is literally falling apart, but that book so clearly portrays what childhood used to be and is no longer. Oh, and any of Booth Tarkington's Penrod books are another source of lost childhood.

Back in the day children were allowed to be children and to live in a child's world where no adult even thought to penetrate the sanctity of it. Alas, now too many adults want to be friends to their children instead of parents. Oh, here I go again.

I promise to stop!

gessie, I'm right beside you, sitting out much of my life right now due to dizzies. I'm still planting irises from last August! will never again take for granted the ability to just walk about and get stuff done.

have more time for my family now.

Gessie, wonderful post. It's a good reminder to us all to slow down and enjoy our gardens, even if there's still work to be done. :)
Deb

DH just demanded I get out of my chair no matter how dizzy I was, just before dark. I had a bad day. he goes out to the street to pick up the mail. he took me out to my irises there and showed me 5 I didn't realize were blooming because it's been so dreary for 2 days! we counted 17 more clumps with stalks about to pop.

nice way to end a day.

Good for him! And Good For you! My prayers are with you, bon.
Lorie

Yes! yes . .
nice nice . . .

Now what as that said about putting down some newspapers before you covered with mulch??

the newspaper works as landscape fabric
- decreasing invasive grass from entering the area.

how many sheets OF newspaper

I'm not really that careful with how many pages I use. I usually put down at least 4 sheets, but then crisscross with more so seams are covered. I've read that at least 8 pages are suggested, don't know why that number.

I put down at least 1/3 to 1/2" of newspaper. we have very invasive grass. with all the darn golf courses around, the bird poop bermuda seed all over the county. bermuda is the worst weed I have in the garden!

Up to 8 sheets is great and all will compost in place. 4-5 sheets with enough mulch/pine straw to cover well. Even better is to put a layer of shredded leaved then newspaper, then mulch and water throughly. It mats down enought that most all weeds are blocked from light or cannot break through the layers and die. Moisture, paper, and leaves attract mucho earthworms and it will all compost in place.
.

oops - sorry

when I lay down newspapers under trees, should add I'm trying to prevent the tree roots from getting the rich soil for the hostas I'm planting, too, not just grass. am told this much will keep them out about a year or two, long enough for the hostas to get established. then I mulch over top of that.

I've tried the newspaper trick in Asheville and that BG comes right up and through it, and I had a nice thick layer, too. Just laid down an entire section of the paper, folded in half like it comes from the news stand, and I'm still pulling up BG. I hate that stuff! Worst weed in the world. Now I have to get my tiller in there, after weedeating the darn stuff down as low as possible, till it up good, try to pull out all I can, and replant and remulch everything in one whole end. Maybe I'll just move the Oenethera that's taking over the other side of the garden to the weedy side and let them duke it out! Hmmm. Maybe I've hit on a solution here. We'll see.

I have Chocolate Mint and Lemon Balm that will take on your Bermuda grass!
So 'out-thug'-ing the thug might be a plan?
Chameleon (houtiana sp?) plant?

oh me
I thought I was feeling too happy!
Hemophobic - we're also in NC and have that BermudaGrass - our community actually installed as lawn material . . .??!!

the black landscape material DOES work - we have it in our front beds.

but the back is a much larger area
- still newspapers are cheaper than nothing at all
that BG has taken over the side beds - its down right embarrassing
- pyromomma: Chocolate Mint and lemon Balm - here I come!

and at this point - anything is Better than Nothing!

thank for the suggestions!
this was great!

The landscape fabric works for areas that are all planted out, but I like to add things depending on where I have holes and need some more color. You can't do that as easily when fabric has been laid, as I keep trying in vain to explain to DH.

I can't believe anyone ever plants BG intentionally! That stuff must have been here when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Indestructible.

Arrrggh!

BG is one of the very few things that will cause me to bring on the chemicals. Ornamec will take out Burmuda better than anything else I have tried. Occasionally I have to give it another spray if another sprig comes up but I am talking about once a year - at the most.

As to the kid issue. There is a federal initiative known as 'No Child Left Inside", several states have already adopted it. Isn't it strange that something so fundamental should be a federal mandate.

I will make a note of that, for BG.

we have so many golf courses that plant it on purpose, the birds will poop out the seed wherever they go.

wanted to add:

we have beds with and without the black landscape fabric.

the fabric DOES make a huge difference with this Bermuda "Grass"
- which our developers saw fit to actually, deliberately plant as grass.
(im sure there is a special place in the after life for those making THAT decision!)

good news is we have beds that still look like flower beds and others - without the fabric that just look a mess!

that BG coming up TALL through the Hawthorne shrubs, camellias, clematis. . .just a mess
these beds will have to be dug up and replanted - yes??

or is there another way??

Unfortunately yes, you'll probably have to replant .. I smothered mine .. it totally took over my canna bed and when I decided to get rid of the canna, I took as much bg out as possible and hoed and stirred everything up .. I then added 2 inches of new soil & peat to the bed and made it a point to immediately pull up any bg I saw coming up through the soil. I'm happy to say, I'm about 90% bg free in that bed now .. the key is keep on top of it.

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