Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'
I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now................
OT, but absolutely hilarious!
LOL!!! I have actually seen this before, but it continues to be great!!! Thanks...
SR
I loved it Gabi - very funny! Thanks for sharing. Now I'm going to share it with my wife!
Doug
Glad you both enjoyed it! I know that many of us are cat and/or dog people (I think it's a prerequisite for hoya addiction), so I thought you'd all get a kick out of it. It was forwarded to me in an email today and I was laughing out loud - I actually had to close my office door!
Doug, make sure you shre it with your pet/s too!
Happy holidays everyone,
Gabi
LOL!! Thanks for posting this, Gabi. It is SO true of cats.. and dogs, too, I'm sure. We are owned by five cats and it amazes even me the lengths we go to just to make their lives "as good as it can get".
Thanks again for the laughs. Hope the holidays are the best for you and Sam and everyone!
Barb
Having both I, too, can attest to there being some truth to it! Kitties tend to want it all their way or no way!
Happy Holidays!
Kelly
Gabi, Thank you for sharing that with all of us! I too have read it before, can't remember where but Loved seeing it again! My DH and I share our home with 3 cats now (down from 5.) We look forward to some day having a dog in the family again too, but it will have to wait until the old kitties are gone. Went to the local Humane Society today to donate some dog food and cat food and had to look at all the kitters and dogs there. So sad to see them all caged and needing good homes. I would take them all if I could! ^_^
For all you dog lovers ... here's an awesome Christmas e-card that my sister sent me that I had seen a few years ago and had forgotten:
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=0212320003
Happy Holidays everyone!
Lin-I subscribe to JL,but had not seen that one before--thanks! I had seen the dog/cat daries before also, but it is SO funny, and I enjoy it every time I read it.
Thank you Gabi, I love it !!!!
Terrific....thanks for thinking of us....
Lourdes, I had a feeling you'd love it :)
I can only imagine how many stockings you have in your house for all the furkids! Sawyer stares at her stocking every single day...how she knows which one is her's is beyond me, but she does it every year!
Here is last year's video snippet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD58n6DCFdM
Lin, you are such an amazing person to have donated food to the humane society.
Gabi
Gabi...that video is so good...so cute. She does know her stocking!!!! Sawyer is adorable!!!!
Gabi, That is so precious! Love your Lab "Sawyer"! Great video ... would make a cute commercial!
You know, I usually mean to donate food to the HS every year and get busy and forget. This year my DH and I were shopping at Sam's Club and happened to go right by the dog food and I remembered, so we took the time to take dog food and cat food out to our local Humane Society ... the staff was very appreciative, they have so many dogs and cats now. With the economy going the way it is many folks are losing their homes and having to give up their pets. I even saw on the news a few days ago that some shelters in some cities are having to turn animals away because they are full. I feel so sad about people having to give up their family pets and wonder what they are going to do when they are turned away from the Humane Societies.
We feel very blessed ... don't have bundles of money or a fancy house etc. but we donate when we can to the local food bank and homeless shelter and I'm thankful that we can donate food to help homeless pets too.
Thanks Carol and Lin - it just blows my mind how smart she is...a little scary!
Lin, that's what the holiday spirit is all about. KUDOS to you and your hubby for being so caring :)
Gabi
We love dogs, cats, birds and all of God's critters! I was just catching the end of a story on CNN about a lady who began something called Guardian Angel's for Soldier's Pets. They find temporary foster homes for the pets of military folks who are being deployed to Iraq etc. and have no one to care for their pets while they are away. What a wonderful organization!
We went to my sister and brother in law's today. They have three very large dogs in their family, all over 100 lbs. One is a yellow lab, another is a black lab/chow mix and this is 3 year old BIG Bubba the English Mastiff. They think he is @215 lbs now. He's been on a special diet because the vet said he was underweight. He's do for a checkup next month and I will be curious to hear what his exact weight is. He is huge but a real lovable, Gentle Giant!
I met a lovely English Mastiff...would love to own one!!!
My sister was hoping for another one for Christmas, she wants a female to name Big Bertha.
They are great dogs, just very large ... and they do Slobber a LOT! Scroll down this page and read the paragraph that says "Mastiff's are Messy": http://www.sunstonedesignsjewelryandmastiffs.com/AboutSunstoneMastiffs.htm That sure is a true statement about this giant breed of dog! My sister and brother in law have old ratty "slobber" towels all over the house and are constantly having to grab one for Bubba. I too think I would love to own one. We've always been big dog type people. Grew up with Labs, German Shepherds, Retrievers. My DH and I talked about possibly getting a Newfoundland (another Giant breed like the Mastiff) but when we do end up adopting another canine for the family it will probably be a rescue from the local shelter. Our mutts (both feline and canine) have always been rescues of the mixed variety, LOL.
I hear you Lin...Newfies are fun...but all that hair is something else. We have always had Mutts...except once we had an English Setter from the Pound and she was special.!!!
Carol, yeah ... I love the Newfies but don't think at our age we will end up getting a giant breed, just too much to handle and I can only imagine how much one would have to be brushed daily with all the shedding!
We definitely believe in obedience training for dogs of any size and I think it's extremely important with large and giant breeds. It's hard being at my sister and BIL's. Their huge dogs have never been trained. They are very friendly and lovable, but always vying for attention, one tries to garner all the attention from the other's and they end up jumping and knocking you down in the process to get petted. My brother in law jokes about the yellow lab saying he flunked out of puppy kindergarden because they did take him for training as a puppy, just never reinforced it.
We fell in love with a mixed breed dog at the Humane Society last week and if we didn't have 3 old cats I KNOW we would have brought her home. She was a labrador/shepherd mix and sooo friendly! The info on her cage said she loved cats and kids and everybody but I don't think our kitties would love her back!
Oh, another picture of my sisters Mastiff. He is so heavy that it is difficult for him to lower himself to the floor ... his legs shake like crazy when he goes down. So, most of the time when he is ready to sit, he just walks over to the sofa and sits ... if a human happens to be sitting there, they sometimes get sat on! This is my sister with her dog Bubba ... she had to scoot over to the edge because he did sit on her lap!
Wonderful!!! Yes...Obedience training is a must...I took both our dogs...seperately...was worth it!!! Now, your kitties would get used to her...com'on...it would work!!!!! You could get her her own kitty and she would be happy!
Lin,
Bubba is just too cute! That is hilarious that he sits on the couch like a human.
Gabi