Anybody own a Mini Pin? HELP

I am looking for info on how to control my husband's Mini Pin. He is set in his ways, the dog I mean. LOL Our Hawkeye as he is named is obnoxious. I love him to death and wouldn't trade him or give him away but there is no other word for him. LOL He can be destructive and is often. He has to stay in the house because he would run off or someone would take him. I am about to resort to buying a large crate and putting him in it when we go to work.
I have always thought that if an animal does bad things when you are gone that he wouldn't know what he was being punished for if you tried to punish him when you got home. Is this true? Unfortunely he knows my idea of punishment is to have a talk and they get grounded. LOL I know this doesn't work well.
He will get up on the table and drag anything off that is sitting on it whether it is a towel or maybe a book just anything. One day we came home and he had gotten a can of root beer out of the case we keep under an open counter in the kitchen had bitten holes in it and left it on our bed. Yes it leaked out. You can walk through the kitchen and he will be in the sink or on the stove. I have many stories like this.
When he gets in your lap he has to be right in your face. He will play bite but he tries to put his mouth around your whole neck or your whole chin. He does that to my other dogs too and we get on to him about that. You can say no and push him down but it doesn't phase him he will just do it again and again. He is very hardheaded!!!!!
Most of his bad behavior happens when we are gone although much happens when we are home just different behavior.
I have had other mini pin owners tell me similiar stories.
I have been reading the posts on the pet forum about trying to curb barking and such and I am trying to use it on my dogs but he doesn't respond to anything.
Any ideas?