A Dogs Prayer (Funny)

Dear God let me give you a list of just some of the things i must remember in order to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2.I will not roll on dead seagulls,fish,crabs etc.,just because i like the way they smell.

3. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a face towel.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

7. I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for mom,s drivers license and registration.

8. I will not play tug of war with dads underware when he's on the toilet.

9. Sticking my head in someones crotch is an unacceptable way of saying hello.

10. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when i'm under the coffee table.

11. I must shake the rainwater off my fur before i enter the house-not after.

12. I will not throw up in the car.

13. I will not come inside and immediately drag my butt.

14 i will not sit in the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

15. The cat is not a "squeeky toy" So wheni play with him and he makes
that noise. it's not usually a good thing.

And finally my last question. Dear God when i get to heaven may i have my testicles back?

This has been around awhile but maybe it's new to some of you.
Vickie