I am Having a Really Hard Time...

I am on the verge of tears, all the time...while driving, watching TV, Reading, etc. I was cleaning a little today and I found a mat that Horsie had managed to remove, a little tuft of hair...and it set me off again.
I cry sometimes when I am holding Corky...it is such a part of me, that he doesn't even appear interested.
I am angry that he is gone, and I feel guilty too...Playing the 'what if I had...'If I had taken him to the Vet when I noticed he was sleeping so much, maybe they would have found something wrong with him...if I had taken him to the Animal ER maybe they could have revived him....why did I not realize it was a holiday, and the regular Vet, would be closed? Why did Phil not realize that? (I know better than to ask him that) I used to tell, people, that I wanted a kitten...but I didn't want Horsie to have to drop dead, in order, for me to have one!

This message was edited Aug 2, 2008 4:52 PM