Gardening's Better Than Sex
Here are the top reasons why gardening is better than sex:
#26- You can garden outside in front of all of the neighbors without being arrested.
#25 - Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.
#24 - If your regular gardening partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you garden with someone else.
#23 - It's absolutely acceptable to garden before you're married.
#22 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against gardening.
#21 - You don't have to shower and shave before gardening.
#20 - You'll always be able to garden, no matter how old you are.
#19 - You'll never hear anyone say: "Is gardening all you ever think about?"
#18 - You don't have to hide your Gardening magazines.
#17 - Telling gardening jokes, and invite co-workers to garden with you is not considered workplace harassment.
#16 - Email with gardening content is not considered offensive material.
#15 - When you become famous, you don't have to worry about pictures and videotapes of you gardening being shown on the Internet.
#14 - Your gardening partner doesn't get upset about people you gardened with a long time ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to enjoy gardening with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good gardener, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you gardening together.
#11 - Every time you garden, you hope to produce fruit.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you garden by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a gardening pro, you never have to wonder if they're really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy gardening stuff.
#7 - You can have a gardening related calendar on your wall at the office.
#6 - There are no gardening-transmitted diseases.
#5 - No one objects if you watch the gardening channel on television.
#4 - Nobody expects you to garden with the same person your whole life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up gardening if your partner loses interest.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your partner will never say, "Again? We just gardened last week!"
LOL! THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!
Gardening is better than Sex
Those are all great reasons.Sorry I still can't agree though.But it is a close second!
That is very cute Sylvia.
ROFLOL!!!
Lots of reasons!!
And you don't have to wait a half hour in between gardening!
Excellent list, Sylvia.
I didn't read all the reasons--but I have to say would disagree ;)
but gardenings right up there close to eating and breathing =)
Boy, you guys are either older than dirt or have bad memories. There ain't nothin" that takes the place of S-- and if there was it sure wouldn't be gardening and that's not even a poor second......
Ann
p.s. I'm old but not dead, yet....
ANN .. I FEEL YA! LOL
I dunno....a couple of those desserts at the Roundups would make ya think about not sharing nothing... and, yeah, I might be older than dirt.
"eyes"
It's a cute list but, nope, I can't agree. ;-)
Carla
Sylvia.. you ARE a NUT!!..lol
Eyes.. I agree.. on the desserts AND being older than dirt!!...I'll take gardening any day...hehe
Too good!!!
Ya forgot to add that a rake doesn't mind being called a dang rake and a hoe doesn't mind being called a hoe :o)
~ Cat
ROTF!!! Gotta remember that one Cat!!
OMG! lol
Well, it IS nice to be able to get down and dirty and be able to tell my mother about it.
Y'all are better than the list!! ROTFLMBO!!
Brig...don't forget that after you get gett down and dirty - you can also show off photos on the garden forums!!! ROLF!!! :o)
~ Cat
y'all forgot one ......
When gardening and y'all get together it is a round up/plant swap not an or......gy and you can share the pictures for sure with everyone showing who all was there ROFL
LOL!
The garden is more of a sure thing, that's all I'll say. It's there....any time I want a break from the house!
LOL, Linda! I ALWAYS get lucky in the garden!
Gardening is always has new surprises, never boring. You can't wait until you can get your hands in the dirt again.
What you grow from gardening never has to have braces, car, prom, college, or wedding!
And when you get tired of taking care of them you can give them away!!
Or chop their heads off! Hey, I have two great adult sons, but there might have been a time......
This message was edited Jul 11, 2008 7:56 AM
no no chopping off the heads is what the female praying mantis do to the males ROFL
There is one area where gardening and sex are the same.
You don't remember how much you enjoyed it until you realize it's been a while since you participated.
GK1153 ... now that is a winner!
You never know who you might meet out there in the garden...you might end up with this cutie right in your face!
Have you ever awakened in the morning and ...
Oh, never mind.
LOL
Sorry, I still gotta disagree with the original premise, but great list, especially the additions you guys have added on!
Oh, and it's kinda funny the ad at the top of this post from Uncle Jim's Worm Farm says "Enhance your garden with. . . . . .worms!" Wait, I think that may be a reason sex would be better than gardening, you don't use *worms* to enhance it. At least I don't.
Oh and I really do have to disagree with #19. People do ask me if gardening is all I ever think about. ;o)
This message was edited Jul 11, 2008 2:17 PM
Linda, is that a grasshopper?? How bizarre.
Carla
It's the Greater Arid Land Katydid....with a face only a mother could love! A couple of years ago I was checking a fennel for butterfly caterpillars and suddenly found myself face-to-face with that weird creature! I knew I had a lot of the regular green katydids, but that one is way different. I love getting to know all the wildlife. Well...usually, anyway! Right now, a mother raccoon is driving me nuts! I woke up in the middle of the night when the coon actually tried to get in the cat door....which was closed, thank goodness. This year, the deer and all the wildlife are desperate for food....and you never know what a desperate wild animal will do.
That Katydid is too funny! But you know he was doing the same thing you were doing in the garden that day. Checking the fennel for your caterpillars!! He was a "perp" looking to have his way with the pretty young things and you were there trying to protect them and give them a better life.
Guess we are back to gardening is better than sex .....lol!
gk1153... did it rain there today?...it did in Urbana... if so that means you get to participate this morning so I bet once it stops you'll be out there getting your daily experience in LOL
and yes I have in the morning ...hahaha
I wouldn't call what we got a rain. I heard the donder-boomers and saw some spots on the sidewalk to the garage but the entire sidewalk was never wet at one time. We've got a 60% chance tonight and tomorrow.
Without getting into lurid details I'll just say my levels of participation are adequate for the time being. *grin*
LOL...well I'm sure my niece would like some rain to help her plants get going that she brought back from here...don't recall just where it is she is living other then it is somewhere between Urbana and Danville in the country and Please make sure it gets it out of it's system come the first week in august so when we stop to visit my folks in Urbana it isn't raining ROFL