Zone Denial Disorder (or ZDD)
Here are some symptoms of ZDD:
1. Inability to accept zone hardiness recommendations. This is characterized by the tendency to "ooh" and "ahh" over catalog items and the inability to keep from ordering things not hardy to your zone. Also includes confusion as to why northern plants can't be brought to Florida and thrive as they did where you came from.
2. Tendency toward "zone push". Characterized by thinking such as "It will be o.k. if I cover it during the cold", or "If it dies, I can get another one next year." Includes the delusion that shade growing will save many northern sun-loving plants.
3. Hording of blankets, sheets, plastic and other protective gear in order to make vain attempts to save non-hardy zone plants from cold snaps.
4. Excessive container planting followed by intensive transfer of potted plants to a warmer place (like inside your house) when it gets too cold. This tends to result in making your house a winter jungle, which can only be traversed with care, through very narrow avenues weaving between the pots.
5. Compulsion to make things bloom out of their zone, when a dozen or more people have quoted you horror stories about how they have tried and failed.
6. Weatherphilia, characterized by constant monitoring of weather stations, weather charts, statistical data, and may include having a weatherboard on your wall with all the charts and data attached. Includes almanacitis, which is an obsession with almanac information, and may include a tendency to collect almanacs from 20 years ago or more.
7. Argumentative syndrome, characterized by a tendency to contradict and condemn anyone who says you can't grow something in your zone, coupled with an uncanny knowledge of statistical and anecdotal data to back up your opinion.
8. Catalog obssessivitis, characterized by a tendency to order every gardening catalog from every zone in the southern hemisphere, and an inability to refrain from buying Dutch bulbs and planting them in zone 10.
9. Extreme mood swings, ranging from excessive elation over a single bloom to crying jags and depression over the death of a plant. Anger over inability to make plants conform to expectations is common, and may result in violent ripping out or chopping down of non-performing specimens, coupled with uncontrollable outbursts of obscenity.
There is no cure for this disorder, but with treatment, a reasonable level of reality can be instilled into the sufferer.
Zone Denial Disorder, or ZDD
OMG.......I am laughing out loud...........Because I realize I have some of these symptoms!
This was great!
Very funny. Of course if I didn't do all those crazy things, I wouldn't get any Brandywine tomatoes in N.W. Houston. ;)
Well I guess I'm certifiable... but at least its not an uncommon form of madness!! There are far worse disorders to have so I'll just go with it lol!
Caren
So true!
In my area, even trusting the zone (8b) will kill everything you plant. If you pick plants that will make it from 7 to 10 you have a good chance of them surviving the temeratures, but humidity is not on the zone list.
Where I live the humidity can range from 6" to below 10 percent for a couple of months. When I say the humidity is 6", I mean that there are 6" of water flowing across the yard.
For me even looking at the zone on the back of a seed packet is a symptom of ZDD!
Bob
Hi, my name is Alexandra, and I have ZDD! Can I join a therapy group?
Zones can be confusing. Seattle, WA and Conroe, TX are both Zone 8 but have huge differences.
I was sad when I found out that Lilac doesn't grow here. I remember it with fondness in PA.
This message was edited Jun 30, 2008 3:28 PM
Well I guess that makes me The Queen of De Nile.
"eyes"
But - if you don't try, how will you ever know you couldn't grow it? Someone had to try to grow a lilac here, to find they didn't. But then someone else planted some houseplants outside and they made it fine. Ya gotta keep pushing that envelope! And I have a humongous box of sheets, etc. Rocks and pins to hold them down with, too. There's a weather station located just a few blocks away that I can access with a click of the mouse.
OK, I'm trying to get better. It takes time....
Lilac can grow here. However you will need a micro climate that does not get bone dry. It will do fine in dappled shade here in Texas, but it does not take much bone dry weather to stress it too much. I have only managed to have it do well for a year and a half at a time, summer eventually kills it for me.
Then again, you probably shouldn't accept this kind of advice from a ZDD poster child. ;)
Plant a Vitex (Texas Lilac) it will do much better for you.
Bob
This message was edited Jul 1, 2008 1:37 PM
This message was edited Jul 1, 2008 1:37 PM
That was too funny!
count me in. I rekon it's a plaque
It must be contageous after many co-ops that didn't work out for me..think I caught it last year. I am slowly recovering since I haven't ordered the last 4 months. Now I only have to remember the proper name for it. Oh ZDD!
Zones? We don't need no stinkin' zones! If it gets too hot for a plant, put an Igloo full of ice in front of it with a fan blowing over the top, right? Sorry, my ZDD was in remission at one time, but I think I may be having a flashback. I've tried putting a bank of bathroom heaters along the fence on the north side of the yard during cold spells, too, but those stupid circuit breakers kept tripping! I wonder if I could use some duct tape to ....?
I hear duct tape or wd 40 are cure alls.
Those are the only two things in a redneck toolbox, you know. If it's supposed to move and doesn't, use the WD40. If it moves and isn't supposed to, use the duct tape. :)
Back to the ZDD, my wife and I decided some time ago to start a Tropical Plant collection. They look so pretty in the catalog and at the store (where they just left a greenhouse somewhere with full climate control). Then you get them home and water every day because you can't remember the last time it rained, then we get one of those frog stranglers and you hope they don't get root rot. And then we have those blue northers that come whistling in in about an hour and a half, and you rig up some kind of greenhouse that fries everything the next day because the temps are back into the 80's with more sunshine than the Sahara. Then you find out that temps and humidity both in the 90's can raise molds and fungi that A&M has never seen. Ahh- you just gotta love it, though, when you get those beautiful blooms and colorful foliage and all your friends ask if it's hard to grow tropicals in this climate. "Naw- piece o' cake" Take care- Jim
Too funny - but too true.
I still miss holly hocks like we had in Minnesota - maybe another glass of wine and I can enjoy all we do have.
Circle S of course, right?
The jalapeno wine is being released Saturday. Winery opens at 11 AM, I'll be there about 9 with a thermos of coffee and some kolaches - come join me, Jim.
I'd love to but I need to spend Saturday splitting some pecan and mesquite for our Dutch Oven cooking thing in October in Austin. Think of me when you get a sip of that new batch.
I am one. LOL Take home plants from a plant swap from zone 8 and 9.
Bring to zone 7 and wonder why, will they not do well.
Hi all. I saw this thread and couldn't resist popping in. Here are a couple ways I learned to cope with my chronic ZDD.
1. Go Big or Go Home : Rather than protecting a plant or bed, why not bubble wrap the whole garden?
2. Google Guy is Your Friend: If you search long enough, you will find somebody growing an outstanding speciman of any plant you want to grow in your zone so of course it can be done.
3. Learn the Lingo: Terms like 'micro-climate', 'elevational factors', 'heat refraction', 'monochromatic design', and zonal shift' really sound good when discussing your insane plant orders.
I'm much happier now that I do these things ^_^ I do note that my list "Plants I Have
Luved and Killed' is getting pretty long. Thanks for letting me share.
I'm a ZDD addict, what can I say? I truly love tropicals. They bring so much joy to my life! I can't live in Hawaii right now, or maybe ever, so having all of these tropicals is the next best thing! They are so beautiful!!
I too have this disease. My husband just can't understand why I want to tackle tropicals that will not make the winter here. I have a 12x30 sunroom that was full every winter. So when he built his shop he added a greenhouse on one end of it.
