I had to share this as it made me giggle...not meant to offend anyone by it either.
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas .
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas.
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas.
If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas.
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Texas friends & others, you definitely live in Texas.
Need a vacation? Here is a list of actual places to travel to in Texas:
Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530
Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land , Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Turkey, Texas 79261
London , Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031
And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590
Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452
Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas
Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Goliad, Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
Men are from Mars, woman are from
Venus, Texas 76084
You guessed it... it's on the state line...
Texline, Texas 79087
For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560
Other city names in Texas, to make you smile..... :
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079
The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662
P.S. Whoops, left out
Muleshoe
Cut'n shoot,
Hoot And Holler,
Ding Dong, and don't forget......
Farewell, Texas
And, of course, there is a place in Texas that is......
KNOTT, TEXAS
Jeff Foxworthy about folks from Texas .
lol...that first one about Lowe's is too funny, and true!
I thought Lowe's and the telephone were both true LOL
Well 60 degrees IS a little chilly...
I had to nod my head, at them all..except I don't know how to use the jumper cables...but I often offer assistance to people who look lost, at the grocery store.
Yes for those that have lived in Texas all or most of their life it is chilly but for a Yankee that has lived in northern Illinois it is lovely ...and I might add a happy one that she is not back in northern Illinois this winter with all the snow they have had.
Melvatoo if you are going to be at broncs in April then I will show you how to use jumpers *S*
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm. Well. . . I may live in Texas alright! I was bustin' a gut (how's that for a Texas sayin' ?) at all of those and you can rest assured, they will be forwarded!
*edited to fix typo.
This message was edited Feb 29, 2008 12:29 AM
Thanks a bunch for the giggles! I too am a transplant from northern Illinois. Dad taught me to use jumper cables when I was just a young little Illini. I laughed at all the jokes, though. I think I might now qualify as at least an eight Texas--once removed--as I hit a ferral hog within a week of moving to Texas!
And Mibus2, my son is still up there at school. He's called to tell me I was right. He should have tranfered to Texas. He is now in the process to doing so!
Glad y'all are enjoying it I laughed too when I read it as it was sent to me because I am now living in Texas.
Terri where bouts in Illinois and when you say illini it leads me to think Champaign Urbana where I grew up but moved from Belvidere this last July....my son went back in November but is not in school
Most recently we moved from the West Aurora area. I mostly grew up in central Illinois, though.
I'm excited to get started with some plants I wasn't able to try up North.
Ok you peeked my interest now Central Illinois ......do tell and if you prefer not to say in the forums you can Dmail me
I knwo the feeling of trying things I couldn't grow up north.
My folks were here at christmas as they go to Mission TX for the month of January and before they went back to Urbana we went "shopping" and I now have a meyers improved lemon tree, a rio star grapefruit, a marrs orange tree and a Bay tree not to mention my rose bush count has gone up to 17 plus some cuttings.
Then once I get the area ready I will have red, yellow and orange watermelons seeds in and 3 different melons (cantaloupe type) along with the rest of the veggies and I have 3 plumeria trees, a hibiscus, 2 gardenia bushes and have 12 strawberry plants planted in their bed now ...LOL
Yep, I carry jumper cables in my car and have used them a number of times, for others as well as for myself. Have also used a hammer under the hood and a flashlight for lights when the lights went out. The last 2 have been over 50 years ago when I didn't have a choice on a lonely road living in Port Aransas. I guess the pop. there was only 500 at that time. Brings back memories.
susie
Way to go Susie a girl can always improvise when needed!!!
Phyllis