Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house, or in your van, is to buy a replacement
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. (There are many people today, especially politicians, that Will Rogers never met!)
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
sayings
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