Dogs vs. Cats...

I love cats and dogs... but found this very funny...

Dogs vs. Cats...
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Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
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MONDAY:
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8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Nighty nite!
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Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary
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Day 683 of my captivity:
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My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
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Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
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There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.
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Today I was almost successful in an at tempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
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I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe .... for now
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Till tomorrow then. . .