need ideas to help my kitty

Hello everyone!

One of my beloved kitties, Ivy, is overweight (18.5lb). She didn't start out this way, in fact the first 3 years of her life she was a very normal weight, and quite active. But after I moved, she started to gain weight steadily. I have gotten frustrated with going to vets because they all blame me for overfeeding her. I have two cats, they both eat the same food from the same bowl. Their food is an indoor formula and is rationed. My other cat is only one year behind her, both are fixed, and he is normal weight. Therefore, it is not the food in my opinion. If she ate all the food, he would let me know it! Anyway, I have had her checked out and she doesn't have anything obvious that is causing the weight gain, nor does she have any health problems related to the weight right now. But she cannot clean herself properly. She hates being picked up, and trying to give her a bath is a nightmare. Her hair is long and gets knotted and I can't get her to sit still long enough to brush it. And when I do, it pulls and she hates it. I don't want to hurt her so I stop brushing. I'd like to take her to a grooming place so her hair could be cut short and she could get a good bath. But I know she'd throw a fit. Last time she went to the vet it took 3 people to handle her. Is there anything I could do to calm her down? I thought maybe the vet could prescribe a sedative but I don't know if groomers would handle her if she was on that. Also I hate having to give her something if I don't have to. Any ideas would be helpful. I love my kitty and I want to take care of her.

Here is a pic of Ivy: http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1517828576044472573bKkNwy
And here is my other kitty, Sebastian: http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1452634936044472573pcPLrE

Thanks, Kim