Site Hosting Question

I'm looking for an experienced, very patient techy person to help to explain, in very simple terms :), the difference between several hosting options I'm currently looking at (absolutely nothing to do with gardening or online forums so no conflict of interest with DG).

I thought I'd found the best one but I've since heard some bad reviews and frankly I need to move pretty sharpish on this. I may not take your advice of course, I wouldn't dream of making someone else responsible but it would help me to make a more informed and confident decision if I understood a little more.

And in return if you ever need advice on your sheep or cows .............. ;)