I'm 20 and yes! I still live with my parents. That's not the point though.
I've had similar posts but they've finally gone and done it. They bought a 2.5+ wooded lot like four years ago and we moved in. "Oh! It's so pretty. Look at all the woods. Think of all the animals. This is why we choose the lot." They said.
It started with, "We just want to clear the dead trees out." I get red in the face explaining why the dead trees are so important and how there isn't even a lot of them and they're not even ugly.
These people have never gone in the woods the whole time we've lived here. Only my dog and I go there looking at animals, plants, weeding and planting things.
Within the last few months, my dad has started mowing IN the woods. I show them all kinds of information about the local wildlife and flora. I tell them all kinds of things about the animals I've seen in the backyard and in the woods that we were never able to see in our old house in a cookie cutter community. They get all excited saying, "Oh look! There's a woodpecker! I've never seen one before. It's beautiful." And I tell them about the species and what in our yard attracts them. And my dad goes and picks the wild berries and cherries in the yard. Yeah, I know, I find him about to eat the most toxic things and so far I've gotten to him on time.
We're having a pool put in and it turns out that my parents asked them to come in with their tractor and cut up the ground in the woods. There's hardly any trees left standing!
Granted we have a lot of trees of heaven but there goes the black walnut, the sweet cherry, the choke cherry, the dogwood, the vibrunum, jack in the pulpit, bloodroot, and the list goes on. And even my baby pawpaws and red mulberries and elderberries and red eastern cedar I planted that were coming along so nicely. You guys know how long it takes for seedlings to fruit! And it's not like I didn't put chicken wire cages around them.
And you want to know why they did it? They want to plant grass in the woods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A (trying not to curse here) lawn in the woods!
The only thing that calms me down is that I KNOW there will never getting around to putting the lawn in and I'll just keeping planting more diverse natives in there.
Console Me?
I'm sorry it is so frustrating for you. It's a shame that they truly don't understand what you are saying. Wish I had known as much at your age.
For me it is dealing with my DH. I can't tell you the number of times I have come home and found atree gone because he didn't like how it looked.
Just don't give up. What you are doing is important.
Try nutching them along with some appropriate movies try some like, Medicine Man with Sean Connery, Unfinished Life with Robert Redford, March of the Penquins (the special features are good) and Deep Blue. Shame about the dead trees sometimes parents will change their minds over time but I find that with encouragement not lectures they will listen - my mom now asks me when I am going to make compost tea again which she used to look down her nose at...
If you can't change your parents you might be able to reach a whole lot of other people..You'd be great for the Master Naturalist Program.. I don't know what is available in your area, but start with your County Extension Service and see if they can point you in the right direction..
Your'e a natural so put your talents to work..
Do you think you could get your parents to read "Noah's Garden" by Sara Stein. Her story may be much like your parents.
Many people "think" they want a wooded lot, but what they really want is a lawn with grass and some large trees... which is not really a woodland.
I could give it a try with my mom. I doubt my dad would.
The lot isn't even completely wooded. We have plenty of space for lawn and ornamental trees.
Sarah Stein's book would be a great place to start. Maybe you could give the book to your Mom as a gift and ask her to please read it for you. Do you have a credit card to be able to order on line? If you don't, please let me know and I will "gift" the book to you to present to your Mom.
http://davesgarden.com/gbw/c/1136/
Psst, being 20 has nothing to do with it. They own the land and they pay the taxes on it. I'm almost 50 and I am having similar issues with my own Dad who lives on a lake. When my Mom was alive, it was no big deal because she loved all the critters and was able to read and write English. Sarah Stein's book was one of her favorites. Sadly, my Dad can speak English well now but he still can't read it and her publication is not available in other languages. Discussing these issues with my Dad would be about the equivalent of discussing uncharismatic microfauna with one of your friends from college who is a liberal arts major. I gave up a long time ago. My Dad tries though. He bought a nice big Norway Maple 'Crimson King' (Maples are native, right?) and I ripped it out when he went on vacation and planted back a nice big Sugar Maple. He planted a Weeping Willow (that’s American, right), and I ripped it out and planted a Swamp Oak. Now, I wouldn’t recommend that people rip out plants their parents stick in the ground but my Dad is at least trying to embrace the concept of native v. exotic. He's just buying from the wrong places and hasn't quite grasped the issues entirely. Oh, he likes birds and butterflies like my husband does. I ripped out all of his Butterfly Bushes that were sold to him and planted species that were more appropriate. Needless to say, I cringe when he tells me he has gone "shopping".
You better believe I bought that book right away as soon as it was suggested!
Awwww! Atleast he's trying! He sounds adorable. Not every one gets it but he's making an effort!
Neat book isn't it. What did you think of it?
Well, I was 20 once, and am almost 50 now. I am very interested in natives, but am a taxpaying homeowner and parent too. I sympathize with both sides.
Since they have lots o room for lawn and ornamentals. Maybe they will give you an area to tend/plant as your own. You 'll have to give up on 'their' part but focus on yours. I really enjoyed the books by William Cullina/ New England Plant Society on using natives in landscaping.
And I'm sure you love your parents but they have worked a long time to be able to do what they want. I second the suggestion that you pursue your naturalist talent outside the home also. You might be able to work on a lot more people than just two.
I still say slow covert them its still a option........ I still say start with movies if they do not read........ do popcorn night and......... talk .......about what you saw. I am a reader and have converted through other media. Pick your gendre know it, live it, they will eventually respect IF you RESPECT them. Saw a PBS program the other night showed people older then I whom I would have ever thought actually care. ...... Who knew they where using other people's language. .....Ask about Ranchers in Wyoming and Montana that because of NEW coal developments they can no longer use their NATURAL artisan wells....they used simpler terms and they where very quick to say they were NOT environmentalist.....because that term was associated with being "EXTREME".......but THEY CARED HOW they left the land for the passing generations (WHO EVER they were). In other words Watch your words, keep them kind and sweet and the more they will eat.
This message was edited Aug 16, 2006 3:21 PM
Isn't it sad that the term "environmentalist" has negative connotations.
I like sallyg's suggestion -- see if you can have a section to tend. When they see the results, they'll pay more attention. They just can't picture it. Yet.
She's no longer a subscriber........
Judy
I think I read a post somewhere in which she was going to college? I wish her the best.
I thought about it and did want to offer consolation- to think of all the non native invasives that
were ripped out with the woods. When I reread her initial message I felt bad because she must have worked really hard on it. I remember being 16 and reading the right way to prune forsythia, and wondering why my mother still hacked them down. Now I'm the hacker; I have a differnet perspective.
She might as well be talking about my parents and I'm not 20. I bought the Noah's Garden book for my parents, it sits unread yet. I gave it to them before Christmas. They won't listen to anything I say (dad has an argument for it all) and it has nothing to do with respecting each other. I respect them and they respect me. They just don't get it. Just when I think they do, they go and do something that shows me that they don't get it. I give up.
Sorry Terry, I know you had strong feelings about your parents stewardship of their land.
Thanks joe. I still have strong feelings, I'm just not uttering a word.