Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six
days.
> Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh
day.
> He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
> God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
> through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
>
> Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
> "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to
call
> it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
>
> "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused
>
> God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example,
> Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
> but cold and harsh while Southern Europe is going to be poor but
sunny
and
> pleasant."
> "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched
deserts.
> This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold
and
> covered in ice."
>
>
> The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass
and
> said "What's that one?"
>
> "Ah," said God. "That's TEXAS -- the most glorious place on earth.
> There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people
from
> TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous
> and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be
extremely
> sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known
> throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
> Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What
> about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
>
> God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the freaks I put in AUSTIN."
>
>
> A TEXAS BLESSING
>
> Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the
hot,
> humid Southwest, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
>
> Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
>
> Please keep it cool in mid-July.
> Bless the walls where termites dine,
>
> While ants and roaches march in time.
>
> Bless our yard where spiders pass
>
> Fire ant castles in the grass.
>
> Bless the garage, a home to please
>
> Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
>
> Bless the love bugs, two by two,
>
> the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
>
> Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
>
> in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all!!
>
> But this is home, and here we'll stay,
>
> So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
>
>
> HOLD IT............there's more....................
> ____________________________________________________
>
> YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
>
> The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
>
> The trees are whistling for the dogs.
>
> The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
>
> Hot water now comes out of both taps.
>
> You can make sun tea instantly.
>
> You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
>
> The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
>
> You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
>
> You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
>
> You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
>
> You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
>
> Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
> end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
>
> You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
>
> Potatoes will cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one
> out and add butter, salt and pepper.
>
>
> Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
> laying boiled eggs.
>
>
> The cows are giving evaporated milk.
>
> Ah, what a place to call home.
> God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!
>
I love being a Texan
That's Texas for sure. We recently traveled in Germany and someone had told us there was some anti American sentiment. We experienced none of that, especially if we told them we were Texans. We were visiting the towns that our ancestors lived in. When we found people that had the same surname as our ancestors they would invite us in for drinks and meals (it made no difference if we weren't actually related) . Very hospitable.
Too cute! I printed this out to keep. ;)
That is pretty cute Jackie, a lot of truth in it too.
Josephine.
This message was edited Jun 29, 2006 4:17 PM
Many truths there, indeed. Barbur, I kind of had the same experience in Ireland. People would ask if I were American, and I'd tell them I'm Texan, and the mood would lighten considerably. Next time I'll just go ahead and wear cowboy boots!
yeah and spit, brown
Took these to work today. They were enjoyed by many. Thanks! pod
Wow, that was neat! I'm a transplant from the north but this is "home." =)
I don't know if it is because I travel more now than ever but have found drivers (could just be attributed to the growing road rage) but drivers sure give the one-finger salute all to often! My boss who visited here (lives in Colorado) said drivers here in SA were the rudest he's ever seen! BUT, Mom who came down from the North said she's never seen such a polite group of people. I love it here!
lol...I've seen those before...very true... :)
HA TxT =) I wish I'd stop seeing them! Only about 10% of the time do I think I was a dofus and might have deserved a car honking or the "salute" but I've never given the finger to another person in my life, it's just tacky.
I NEVER flip off people in traffic after what happened to me about 11 years ago (I was about 19 at the time). It was about 1:00 am and I was driving home with a male friend as passenger in my crappy little Geo Metro (the 4 cylinder one with the trunk, thank you). I lived in the suburban nort part of Houston at the time, and we were on a 6-lane main road (FM 1960). Traffic was very light. A carload of five guys came up next to us and started making obscene and suggestive motions at me, so I gave them the bird (and they probably saw my mouth moving when I said "f... you" while flipping them off). Well, they FREAKED OUT and starting throw beer bottles!!! yes beer bottles at my car! My friend and I were terrified, so I floored it which was kind of hard to do in a 77 horse power geo metro. These guys chased us and then pulled in front of us, blocking us in. Where's a cop when you need one?!? This went on for probably three miles, and then we had to stop at a red light. They stopped next to us. One of the actually got out of the car and started pounding on my passenger window with his fists, yelling at my friend to get out of the car so he could kick his butt. OMG~~~~ we we SO scared, I just punched it on the gas and ran the light, but the scary guy managed to kick my back passenger door with his boot and made a huge dent. We managed to outrun them. When we got to my friend's house, we told his dad, who was a COP! and he said there wasn't anything he could do about it.
So moral of the story - Don't ever flip off anyone in the car. Ever. You never know who is in the car next to you. Be safe!
Greenbud,
SO SORRY to hear your story!!! Neither DH or I ever flip people off for that and moral reasons, I mean, if they are already acting crazy on the road we don't want to give them more ammo to come after us!
But overall I'd take Texas and their drivers over the north anyday. =)
This day in Houston they would have shot you...it's not safe to mess with the crazies in todays times
So very true. I just mind my own business, act courteously towards strangers (unless I have good reason not to), and I figure I'll be just fine.
:)