There is a hole in my heart

I have a hole in my heart. Yesterday we lost a very special member of our family. I have been so upset that I thought it might help if I could just come here and let it all out. So, please forgive if this turns out to be long.

Three and a half years ago my husband and I decided to get our children a pet. We chose a dog because they make such good companions. We went to a pet store down the road from where we lived at the time to see if they had any puppies that we would be interested in. They didn't have any puppies at that time. However, the lady that owned the store said that she had a friend that had gotten very sick and that she had a 10 month old small dog that she was giving away to a good home. We rounded the isle and there she sat, in her kennel looking as if she knew that no one wanted her. I must say at first glance I wasn't sure about her. You see, LuLu, that was her name, was a hairless Chinese Crested. I had never seen a dog without hair except on the tail and the top of the head. My hesitation left quickly when we took her from the cage because she just took to us like she knew us already. We left the pet store new owners of a 10 month old Chinese Crested. We didn't know at that time how much this little dog with no hair would touch our lives but we soon found out.

LuLu wasn't our pet but a part of our family!! She was sooooo smart. It was like she could comunicate with us. She didn't just take love but gave every bit and more back. Everything we did, LuLu did as well. There wasn't a trick that she couln't learn. She loved playing with her stuffed animals, sleeping with us, watching tv with us. I called her my shadow because everywhere I went, LuLu was right behind me. I could write a novel about her and all of the things that she did that was special.

At the time we got LuLu, we lived next door to my parents. Well, my dad has always had a way with dog's and children. They always gravitate to him and LuLu was no exception. This time though for some reason my dad didn't have much to do with LuLu. One day I shuned him and told him " that dog loves you!! I hope you know that you are her favorite person!!" He told me he know that but he didn't want to get attached to her because every time that he would get close to a pet, something would happen to them. I didn't take long, and LuLu had my dad in her paws. She adored my dad. Don't get me wrong, she loved us but make no bones about it, we all knew who her favorite was and we also knew who my dad adored too. After we had LuLu for several months she and my dad became inseperable!!

Six months ago we moved. It was soo funny because every couple of days my dad would make up some stupid excuse to come to my house. He thought he had me fooled, but I knew exactly why he came, to get LuLu. So, I had started letting LuLu stay with them a couple of days at a time, then I would go get her for a couple of days and she was real happy.

Yesterday my mom had gone to get groceries and my dad was working in his garden. LuLu was sitting by the door waiting for my mom to come back so she could go to my dad. When my mom opened the door LuLu shot out in between my mom's feet. Knowing that LuLu was going to my dad, mom didn't give it a second thought. My mom didn't know that my dad had walked across the street to talk to a neighbor. LuLu was looking around for dad and finally when she saw him across the street she took off for him. LuLu was like a steek of lightning!! Especially if she ever saw a squirrel. My dad tried to stop her, he saw the car coming but LuLu was clueless. In the blink of an eye, we lost our baby!!

Words cannot express the grief and despair that I am feeling right now. I look around the house and she is everywhere!!
Her play toys, sweaters, food bowls etc. It just feels soooo sereal! Laying on the couch without her nestled in the bend of my legs, I miss the sound of her nails on the tile floor, In the morning we would play a game. The morning sun would shine on the glass in my front door. If I would open and close the door, a steak of light would travel across the floor and LuLu would just wear herself out chasing the glare!! If she ever did anything that she tought would displease me, I would know because she would lay her ears back and shake. Like if she pooed in the house. She hated it when she did something to make me unhappy.

I am just so sad, I can't imagine what it is going to be like without her. She had soo much to give and so many more years to be able to give. It just isn't fair. I have such a void in my heart, I know I will never find another LuLu!! I just miss her so much. I am happy and feel blessed for the short time we had with her. I will never regret that. As much as it hurts to loose her I would do it all over. Just for my precious memories!!

Thanks for reading
~ Kristi
.