Dogs vs. Cats

LOL one of my flyladies sent this to our group...Think she found it on ebay.

I found this on an ebay auction - it had nothing
> whatsoever to do with the item being sold. I
> thought you'd enjoy it as much as I did.
>
>
> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY:
>
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:00 am - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:00 am - OH BOY! DIRT! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:00 am - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! ANOTHER CAR RIDE! MY
> FAVORITE!
> 2:00 pm - OH BOY! HOME! MY FAVORITE!
> 3:00 pm - OH BOY! MY BONE! MY FAVORITE!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 6:00 pm - OH BOY! DAD! MY FAVORITE!
> 7:00 pm - OH BOY! DINNER! MY FAVORITE!
> 8:00 pm - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:00 pm - OH BOY! BEDTIME! MY FAVORITE!
>
>
> EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY:
>
> DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with
> bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
> lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
> dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
> the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I
> get from ruining the occasional piece of
> furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house
> plant.
>
> DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
> weaving around their feet while they were walking
> almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
> stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
> these vile oppressors, I once again induced
> myself to vomit on their favorite chair....must
> try this on their bed.
>
> DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them
> the headless body, in an attempt to make them
> aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
> strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed
> and condescended about what a good little cat I
> was.....Hmmmm. Not working according to plan.
>
> DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they
> are. For no good reason I was chosen the water
> torture. This time however it included a burning
> foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
> could invent such a liquid? My only consolation
> is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
> teeth.
>
> DAY 771 - The was some sort of gathering of their
> accomplices. I was place in solitary throughout
> the event. However, I could hear the noise and
> smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
> "beer." More importantly I overheard that my
> confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."
> Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
> advantage.
>
> DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
> flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
> released and seems more than happy to return. He
> is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other
> hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
> them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
> move. Due to his current placement in the metal
> room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is
> only a matter of time.....
>