Not pet related, but this is too funny!

Dear Tide Company

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all
through my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that
I am in my fifties, I find it even better. In fact, about a month ago, I
spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing
led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white
blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just
wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a
bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and
satisfaction, all of the stains came out!! In fact, the stains came out so
well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my
blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no
longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a
relief!! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder
suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty Bag people.