I have some seeds to share. You will get at least these below plus some others I have not got time to list. I'll send you the seeds at no cost to you. In exchange please post a joke or funny story here that's gardening related. And then send me your address! If there're more people post than I can send guess who ever's story is the funniest get them!
Boltonia Snowbank
Columnbine
Malva Sylvestris Zebrina
Mexican Hat
Rudbeckia Black Eye susan
Maiden Grass
CLOSED: Seeds 4 You
Hi I would love a bit of each please . Thanks so much.
OK I dont know if this is funny but I am horrified! .Next door to me lives a sweet old couple, the husband is on oxygen and is almost deaf. He cant garden any longer. The wife takes care of our calico cat Missy when we go out of townHubby is allergic so they cant have one.Well when his iris was done blooming I dug then up separated, replanted and planted a few more in another small bed. Kept some for me, the wife wanted them all ripped out but I couldnt do that.Well Miss and I were out last weekend gardening. And there she is digging up and pooping where I thinned out there iris!!! She had done it twice that I have seen. I havent seen her do it in my yard but I have red cedar mulch on my beds!
Howdy...I'd love to get in on this too. I still not think this is to funny but others have laughed....I planted a bare root weeping willow a couple of weeks ago that was about 3 feet tall. Well hubby cuts the grass and I come out later to see my willow tree bent over. I go check it out and the buds that were on it are now gone and it's cut it. I ask hubby if he ran over it and he said "yea not once but twice...I thought it was a weed". Willow is fine now but I'm think of running over hubby with that same lawn mower.....not once but twice! Hope you get a laugh out of this.
Brenda
And an ouch story! I was probably 6 and was at my grandads. He had the most beautiful peonies lining his driveway and dark hollyhocks so tall he tied them to the corners of his house and garage. I was standing by the driveway eating an apple, not realizing that a bee of some type had landed on it. Of course I bit it and got stung on the tongue. Fortunately not allergic.
Last year, I put in a little bubbling fountain in front of the deck and planted a few things around it. I thought that Fountain Grass was an especially suitable plant for this spot, and I was so pleased when the little clump I bought (at a fairly high price) settled in and started growing and putting up seed stalks. It was lovely!
Well, I came outside one morning with my cup of coffee, sat down on the bench next to the fountain, and noticed that the fountain grass wasn't so noticible. To my horror, I found that it was, in fact, entirely missing! I knew I hadn't moved it, unless I'd suddenly taken up sleep-gardening. I looked closer, and I saw a hole where the clump had been! Oh, for goodness sake, I thought, who would dig up my fountain grass?? And to add insult to injury, whoever had taken it had clearly used my very own shovel, as it had been left stuck into the ground near the hole. The nerve!!
I stormed back into the house and began relaying the story to my husband, asking who on earth would steal my grass??!? His jaw dropped, and he got an extremely sheepish expression on his face. He confessed that *he* was the culprit! He knew I'd been getting behind on weeding & maintaining the garden areas, and he spotted this clump of grass that had gotten so big it had actually started going to seed! Unbelievable! He thought, I'll do her a favor and just pull that out. He was surprised when it was so difficult to remove that he had to get out the big shovel! He said he had to really work at it to get it out, too. He figured I'd be glad I hadn't had to try pulling that weed, as it had clearly "gotten away on me." I said, honey, I planted that grass on purpose! I paid real money for that grass! It's ornamental Fountain Grass!!!
I demanded to know what he'd done with it, and it turned out he'd simply tossed the clump into the trees behind the yard. Needless to say, he retrieved it quite promptly! I re-planted it, and this year it looks great. DH has promised to leave it strictly alone, oh yes indeed.
critter - definitely got a kick out of your story. :) TFS I'm trying to think of one not so embarrassing that I could share it. As a beginner, brown thumb I have several.
ROFL MS C
As much as I loved gardening as a kid, I hated weeding. So did my brother and sister. So, my father got the brilliant idea to pay us a quarter a pound for weeds. What happened...?
My brother gave up and read a book. I weeded and my sister? She pulled up EVERYTHING! Plants, flowers, everything! Can you guess our birth order?
1. Sister - oldest
2. Brother- middle
3. Me - baby, of course!
Barb
As a child, my dad made an arrangement with his father to be paid for pulling up dandilions. My grandfather was a lawyer, and there's an absolutely adorable letter/contract that he dictated to his secretary on this topic. Among other things, little Johnny was required to submit the "corpus delecti" (I believe that's the term) before payment would be rendered. He pulled up so many dandilions that week!!
What a great idea this is!
My dad once planted peppers from seed that he got from a neighbor. He babied those plants and waited patiently for the peppers to mature. Of course, there here loads of them. Then, he carefully selected one off the plants, opened his mouth and bit in. And, SCREAMED bloody murder! The entire neighborhood still talks about the time he accidently planted hothothot peppers! People even mentioned it at his memorial service!
Barb
My very first year with a vegetable garden was in 1999. I meticulously planted in orderly rows, following directions to the "T". Tomatoes, peas, cabbage, oh yes, and summer squash. Oh, that summer squash what can I say, for I had never planted nor eaten it before but I was a newly wed and determined to grow it because my husband LOVED it.
My husband came outside to check on my progress and saw all the little perfect sized mounds in the sqaush bed. "How many squash plants are you starting?"
"Oh, there are 5 each of the green zucchini, golden zuchinni and yellow straightneck"
"Honey, that's an awful lot of squash"
"Oh hush, it's fine we'll use it!"
Do I even need to finish the story? I didn't have the heart to pull out any of the plants at first. We were eating squash everyway imaginable, zuchinni bread, casserole, stirfry etc.
People at church would run when they saw me coming, grocery bags full. Finally I pulled all but one of each of the plants. These 3 were still too many plants for the 2 of us. Needless to say, I haven't planted squash since and my husband NEVER asks me to make it.
Until five years ago my 'gardening-challenged' husband and I lived in a flat and DH knew I missed being able to garden, and especially growing fresh veg. So for my birthday one year he presented me with a small window-box for our small balcony,and a packet of brussels sprout seeds. I tried to look pleased but he realised that something was wrong. I gently explained that I doubted I'd be able to grow more than one or two brussels in a window box and he stared at me in disbelief. It turned out he thought you got one little sprout from each seed, and that I'd be able to grow the whole packet! He'd chosen them because they were the smallest veg. he could think of !!
My Dad used to tell of this very nice plant that he found alongside the road once. He loved it. Took it home, planted and nurtured it. He was so proud of himself. Until, someone came to visit and told him what it was... poison ivy! ~ Suzi :)
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This happened a few years back when my first grandchild was small (about 3 years old). She was staying with me one day and I decided to pick some green beans. She walked along with me as I picked then I noticed she was not keeping up with me. As I continued to pick and get further away she suddenly called out "Nena, come quick here's an orange turtle!" I ran back to see what she was talking about and she was looking at a ladybug.
I cannot look at a ladybug today without thinking of her first experience in a garden.
This message was edited Jul 3, 2005 11:46 AM
Back in April I was soooo excited. I finally got someone to help me put up the 4'x6'x6' greenhouse I'd bought the year before at a close-out sale. We worked and worked and got it all put together, but when we went to stake it, the ground was frozen solid. I had the brilliant idea to wedge it between the patio retaining wall and the picnic table! The next day we had a terrible storm, and when I pulled in from work, I found the greenhouse upside down in my neighbor's trees - half an acre from where we parked it! Apparently we created the PERFECT wind tunnel when we wedged it in! My neighbors are STILL talking about it! Can you believe we got it down totally unscathed????
I had a misadventure with squash, too...in my first garden, I planted all kinds of squash, summer and zuchinni...and of couse, since I babied the plants, they grew and grew and grew. There was way too much for us (2 people) to use...I took some to all my friends, and pretty soon people told me, that I was welcome, to come and visit, as long as I promised to leave the squash at home...so I switched to tomatoes, as I had way too many of them as well.
This message was edited Jul 7, 2005 9:26 AM
Farmer pickle-I see this thread is closed. Did you decide who won the seeds? Which story did you think was funniest? I loved them all.
I think we should keep this thread going, even if the seeds are gone!
I'm willing to send a little surprise packet to someone who causes me to ROTFL! I've been enjoying laughing into my morning coffee!
Farmerpickle, would you please reopen the thread?
You could start another one!
OOOh yes--start a new one- I have a few more 'sprout moments' (see my post above) I could share. Luckily my DH is such a sweetie he doesn't mind -- much....
Everyone is sharing their squash tells well I think I have yall beat. My husband and I wanted to make sure we had plenty so we planted 3 rows about 30 feet long. Need I say more. We gave away, sold to all the local grocery stores, and finally cut them down. We would get about 3 to 4 5 gallon buckets a day.
When had so many zuchinni plants..I decided to let one grow, to see how large it would get..so I let it grow...and it grew, and grew, and grew. I finally cut it, because it started to get 'scary big'
Another 'sprout' moment...Hubby watching me plant onion sets in our newly-acquired garden (Joy o joy). Presuming on his hard-earned horticultural knowledge from the sprout incident (See above), he asks " How many onions will we get from each plant?" Poor guy can't win!
Maggi xxxx
LOL, Maggie! I know the feeling. This gardnin stuff ain't EZ! Bless him for his continued efforts!
Yes, he keeps trying, he's such a sweetheart. Sprout moment no.3:
DH watches me planting garlic cloves. Checks his suspicion that these must belong to the onion family.On receiving my affirmative proudly states that he therefore knows this will only give us one clove back, but how big will it be??
Oy! LOL LOL!
sorgina - sounds like my wife, pobrecita.
Everytime she thinks she's got it figured she runs into the exceptions. Iris are finicky about too much water--except for the water iris which can't get enough. Palms have those long, strap-like, feathered, or fan-shaped leaves--except for say, my potato-chip palm which has round leaves (with RRRidges), have to wait until the pea pods are rounded to pick full-size peas, except for the sugar snaps which are starchy if you wait that long, cacti should just about completely dry out between watering, except for some of my tropical, semi-epiphytic cacti which have to constantly be watered. She's given up entirely on the tomatoes. With red, pink, orange, yellow, white, green, purple, and combinations thereof in the garden she doesn't even try to figure out which are ripe.
Unfortunately that means I get no help watering (she can't figure out what needs watering and what should not be watered), harvesting (doesn't know what needs harvesting), or weeding (doesn't know which ones are the weeds--there are fewer varieties of weeds than plants in the gardens, so she says it's easier to remember the weeds).
Sorgina, those stories are just ROTFLOL funny! I had DH read all 3 yesterday morning, and you should've heard his "ooff!" and laugh as he got to the last one about the garlic.... He says your husband has a logical mind, and he understands how that gets him into trouble!
You'll have some columbine seeds heading your way for those! I'll wait to see if I get any scented geranium seeds for you, but I'll save some columbine with your name on it.
MallieB, I loved your ladybug story too! I'll see if I have anything on your wish list....
OOOH Yipee Critter! I'm very excited about my seeds! Guess I should share them with DH.....then again he'd probably only sprinkle them on his tortilla or something! (My fault - he's got used to me fetching poppy seeds from the garden to sprinkle on bread, coriander for curries, fennel for fish etc.Not to mention all those chopped garden leaves on almost anything. He now seems to think any seed or leaf sprinkled on any food will make it taste better. Of course I now understand this is due to his logical mind....Hmmm- DH in the kitchen...better not go there! Glad to see some men enjoying this thread, Mr.Critter and Tropicalaria.ROTFL about your wife- pobrecita! (Then again,maybe she's just got it all worked out...reminds me of my father. Every weekend he had to mow the lawn, and every weekend he accidentally mowed down some of the flowers Mother had planted round the edge. Soon he spent the weekends with his feet up watching Mum mow the lawn and with a very big smile on his face...8¬D.
Well, I reckon you all deserve the following :
Sprout moment no.4: I buy bumper bargain bags of Spring bulbs for new garden. DH (who really is the sweetest man alive- after all,he puts up with me!) helps me plant them. He works down one side of a very wide lawn, me down the other. Several 100 bulbs later, he staggers across to me and comments,"That pointy bit does go in face down, doesn't it?".....
More male logic, eh Mr.Critter??
Oh, gosh! Well, the good news is that they should still sprout & grow, it'll just take them a few extra days to figure out which way is up! I tell DH to put bulbs in sideways if he isn't sure....
Well, that was a few years ago in fact. Some came up, some didn't, many didn't flower. However, I'm sure that had more to do with the bargain price than DH's logical deduction that the pointy bit was the root. I love the sideways solution- female logic! (OMG, hubby could no doubt get his revenge with a long thread about my application of that!)
I find some of these threads and forums a nice counterpoint to the male-dominated technical field in which I work.
Since I've been known to plant bulbs sideways when I was unsure of their orientation, I'd be reluctant to agree with the assessment of that as female logic, but then I run afoul of the logic which led to the conclusion that it was female logic and figure that I've been the victim of female logic anyway. . .
I've greatly enjoyed this thread, by the way, and shared quite a few with my family. My post was just a commentary on sorgina's ongoing thread, not an entry in itself, despite its unusual length. :)
Tropicalaria, I wasn't serious about the female logic, just stirring things ;¬). I'm not called Sorgiña for nothing! (Means 'witch' in Basque,DH's first language). So you needn't play the victim ! [Pobrecito ;¬ ( ]