I certainly understand it is frustrating to cope with folks who don't bother to read the rules, or who don't know some of the unwritten rules yet. (Or just are jerks.) But I am dismayed (and cowed) to read posts castigating newbies and cretins alike for things that often seem to me to be just problems of getting lost in the process and not knowing where to look or what to do.
Face it: 1) Etiquette in this process is mucho complex; 2) when an e-mail is popular it's tough to keep up with what's going on; 3) well, stuff happens. We may not all understand what you are saying. And on this website, the address list and trade lists are not easy to find, and often out of date (does he still want that? does he still have the other?). Send us an e-mail; return my request (the P.O. will do this for you if you mark the envelope correctly).
I have (shaking in my garden clogs) responded to a couple of offers, and been very generously treated (e.g., when I didn't realize I should send a SASBE, not an SASE, excess postage returned, etc.).
Yet I am more than intimidated when I read postings reproaching members who fail to use a diacritic mark in a member's name [official librarian's note here: Yes, it is an "i" in Diaz, it simply has an accent mark--optional in standard printed English in name varients. (How many of us write Mexico with an accent over the "e"?)]
I'm not saying we shouldn't voice legitimate complaints--but, go easy or maybe just trade privately with friends. "Can't we all just get along?"
CLOSED: re: recent complaints
Very well said Apoe. As one who has been burned a few times on here I always try to remind myself "Hey, they're just plants after all".
Marc
Thank you! I am a newbie and didnt know there was an address exchange. Fortunately another memebr emailed me when I asked where it was.
True True-but people being people are not all going to see eye to eye and that is to bad isn't it?
Yes it is. I am forever amazed at the reactions of some people to losing a few seeds or plants. I can understand getting upset if there was a good deal of postage monies involved, and maybe even if the plants lost were rare and hard to come by.
I know I've over reacted a time or two over getting burned on a trade.......but I try to be as understanding as I can.
Shoot I myself have made bad trades with people (sent the wrong thing, and or the wrong color)....didn't mean to, mistakes just happen sometimes.
One of the biggest problems I see often here is people having expectations that are WAY to high.
True, and thanks. It's hard to be a newbie on a giant, complex site like this where a lot of the rules seem to be unwritten. Very well said.
Zelda
It also is interpetation (spelling) because what one person thanks is great trade maybe someone else doesn't. I feel that if someone does the best they can and send the best they can I am happy. Well maybe not over the top happy but at least they sent there part. I would rather someone tried than not send anything at all.
True enough.....when I was new to DG I am sure I didnt send out the best recieved of trades becouse of one of these 'unwritten' rules, namely "SEND LOTS".
All in all this is one of the best sites on the web. Full of wonderful generous people, many of whom I can now call friends....for that alone the rest simply fails to matter to me. :-)
Thanks for this thread, although i am not a real newbie i was always intimidated with sending seads, real plants/flowers. I am always afraid that I will offend the other person/people. And until the last couple of days of asking ALOT of questions bout trading seeds and other things I did not know what to do. But i figured i pay for my yearly subscription just like everyone else here that i should be able to enjoy all the trading like everyone else. I am getting the hang of it slowly and I thank the people that have answered my questions and sent me emails are how do to things. I am learning..slowly but surely.
I still have trouble finding the address exchange. I click every button till i find it. and then i may take an hour to do so...lol
I say to all that trade and receive that this is a privledge, a wonderful chance to share our passion. And i for one is extremely happy that i stumbled across DG. I have gotten some wonderful plants from people on here and I hope one day to share like I have been shared with. And for those of you that have been burnt by a trade, sometimes things happen outta our control, life is short and you have to pick your battles. And if those battles are to fight with people that have been less then nice to you, I say, say a prayer for them, maybe they need it. I know that we dont have money to lose or trades that have gone bad, I think that it is something we will have to live with and possibly just leave bad feedback.
I love it here and I hope that i make alot more friends that are compassionate about what we do and do alot more trading in the future when i have enough of things to trade.
Thank You to all of you that have made my beginning here a pleasant one.
Char :o}
I just wanted to chime in and say that I subscribed in Feb, 2005, have done a few trades, and everyone has been more than helpful I have met some wonderful people here and enjoy the opportunity to post responses, as DH isn't into gardening, except to help take care of it. He doesn't know the names of some things I have planted, but he tenderly cultivates it, waters it and weeds as needed, but don't try to talk garden with him!! So i appreciate the kindred souls who will help me with problems, or just listed to me ramble about veggie gardens and flower gardens, THANKS EVER SO MUCH.
I don't think it's necessarily long timers versus newbies. I have been a member since DG's first year. It's those with huge ego's that are out to belittle those they consider beneath them, if something doesn't please them. I had a trade with someone who is fairly new here. I sent my seeds, and promptly was e-mailed in an accusing tone, that there was only one viable seed in the pack. I apologized and said I would see what I could do to rectify the problem, and not to send her side if she was unhappy, until I could find what she wanted. Almost 3 weeks later, I got the seeds I had requested from her in an envelope, no note or anything. At that point, I was still waiting for the seeds I ended up ordering follow through my end of the deal. I forwarded them on to her, but don't know if they were ever received, she never bothered to let me know. That hasn't stopped me from trading, just trading with that member. I've just learned, the more rules stated in the offer, the farther and faster to run! DG has always been a pretty laid back, we're all good friends just hanging out kind of place. Good friends don't need a list of rules for sharing, there is the FAQ section for those first trading to read through, if there is a question they can always ask. Just jump in if you see something you're interested in, and keep yourself a list of friends and bullies. Don't trade with the bullies, there's a lot more friends around anyway!!
Amen, momcat! I have virtually stopped trading because of the nastiness I see in so many threads. I think I have a good reputation as a trader, and I've had very few battles, but I don't need the aggravation of worrying about every doggone thing, EEEEEK! There's a piece of chaff!!! Poo-poo in that.
I generally trade veggies, and I note exactly what I'm sending - 4-6 seeds of most, unless I've hard germination problems (or saved waaaaay too many seeds)!
I agree with ya'll - we are NOT trading in rare gems! This is supposed to be fun! Seeing people getting lambasted is NOT FUN!
Good thread!
Char, the address listing = 1-hit "home", 2-hit "extras", 3- go down to address listing. I too had a hard time with that... saved it in favorites and that was only place I could find if for the first month! ~ Suzi :)
Please don't stop trading. I was treated exceptionally well as a newbie (as I am now an oldster of all of three months...). I have had nothing but good experiences here and met nothing but nice people. Approach each trade the way you would want to be treated and there should be no complaints on the other end. Whenever necessary, ask questions and then enjoy the experience.
I think some of the other threads allowed people to vent things they have felt unable to express in other forums here. Blow that off and dive in. There is, in truth, very little to lose in most trades and a great deal to gain...
Imagine a stroll through your garden and seeing all your Dave's friends' contributions. It never fails to bring a smile to my face.
Barb
I'm not a newbie by any means, and I don't go to this thread often because I'm just not good at seeds. I couldn't imagine what prompted this thread until I started reading some of the other threads with all the "rules and regs." I just have to say that I don't care what a person has to offer if the *order* is that "if you don't do it this way, forget it." We need to ignore these people. We are here to trade with like minded people, and we are here to share. Rude folks need to change their ways because the vast majority of DG'ers are friends.
I'm under the impression that Dave has decided there will be no more Co-ops, please don't push the point on trading seeds to where he will have no choice but to say "no trading".
Judy
I think some of the complaints are justified, and some aren't, sometimes you have to read between the lines. Dave didn't stop the co-ops because of people complaining, he stopped the co-ops because of organizers taking the money and running. There are always going to be people unhappy with trades, no matter what, some people just need to find something to be unhappy about. I don't think Dave would stop trading because of complaints, just deal with the few members involved. The co-op thing was an entirely different matter.
This message was edited Jun 28, 2005 8:09 AM
Oh I too have had wonderful trades and SASE. Everyone here has been so kind and has helped me so much. I had just wanted to poing out that some of us have not learned the entire site yet. The person was very upset that I sent email asking for her address and I truly did not know there was an address exchange.
This is a great site! I enjoy all the email, and the great info on this site! And of course I covet the pictures of everyones plants! : )
"The person was very upset that I sent email asking for her address and I truly did not know there was an address exchange."
Puleeze!! Very upset? Whenever someone asks me if my address is in the exchange, I just write it out for them. Much more convenient for the person needing it. It *may* take 10 seconds for me to do that. Sheesh - what some people get upset about. I hope nothing major ever happens to these people. They'd have a nervous breakdown. lol
Excuse my bluntness.
I have been a trader for a very long time.....
newbie or oldies..... dosnt matter...calling names isnt appropriate. nor being rude to any trader.And
anyone who has a bad experience should let Dave know.
I say thanks to all that have traded with me even those who may have sent trades without return stamps, no return envelopes, and yes the worst sent a sase instead of a sasbe--can you imagine?? haha...... those who have sent me back only a small pinch of seeds, and yes if you know me lost a few robins ----
many of those who have become rather ill, died, or lost a loved one....
as for rules and regs....a bit to intense for me ..... relax, trade and have fun...... Be patient with our friend the postman toooooo!
Remember even those small pinches of seeds are in my garden and a constant reminder of my passion to be outdoors , to garden and to share with my Daves friends!!!!
your trader friend sheran, and ps you can ask me my address any time!
<
This message was edited Jun 28, 2005 6:44 AM
That's why we love you sheran!
I love trading, haven't done it for a while though. This was a neat thread to read! BUT...
i am bumping up this thread because apoe has not checked in since Hurricane Katrina. Though I am a volunteer with a re-connect group, & have lots of resources, I have been unable to locate ANY info about her status. I just don't have enough INFO. If anyone knows anything, i mean ANY DETAIL, please dmail me.
Of course, i did get her adress from the addy exchange [i can't even admit to how long it took before i knew there was one LOL]
DH, Kids, folks, roots, second home, middle name, approx age, employer, favorite vacation spot, email addy. You would be surprised what detail can help locate a person! Also, any medical condition?
thanks,
tf
I have been a member since day one, too, and quit being a member for a year because of the high attitude of several regulars. Hey, if you want full-blown plants and rare seeds, in quantity, then just trade with people in TROPICAL zones!
Learn to say 'no' if you don't want to trade with someone you don't know. I have had many 'bad' trades over the years, but I would NEVER consider bashing someone nor even making it public.
I feel I am blessed beyond belief, with great plants, thanks in part to the likes of Calla, Lisa, Jerrod's Mom and others. If I am THIS BLESSED, who in the world am I to tear someone else down or make them feel badly? Remember, what goes around comes around, WITHOUT Fail!
I have been on this site for quite some time also. Some call me, and I smile "the queen of the seed robins." I have has sooo many bad experiences on a few other sites and one in particular that I had to go to the police for someone harassing me.....that starting here at Daves took alot of thinking.
It has been the right decision. Many robins have been lost, seed trades become confusing , recieved envelopes with out seeds inside... no postage-or short return postage...... I somtimes think that trading diamonds would be a cheaper hobby... ha ha .. as those that do alot of trading know it is costly for all the " seed trade" items one needs!
but frankly it dosnt matter I consider everyone in their best interests, if not we all have the option to post a rebuttal and not trade again.
No nasty e mails passed around behind backs, and no Disney.
A reminder of the post above these are only seeds and a wonderful via internet way to make friends, share ideas is that priceless in its self??
Hope all of our Daves family that are effected by the weather are safe .
Sheran, you are most gracious, kind and generous :)
patricia
did anyone happen to READ my above post??? Amy Poe may not be safe, or she may be safe. We don't know, and are finding it difficult to find out without more information.... please :-)
She lived between Lake Ponchatrain and the Mississippi River. She rented. The house is not habitable. Can't find any info on her from shelters, I'm OK threads or anywhere. We are trying to get info through her landlord and her alumni assoc. but any additional info would be nice... like approx age, race, etc...
thanks!
tf
i didn't think of that, thanks! even if someone just has her email address, that would be a place to start :-)
tf
TF, I hope none of the recent posters to this old thread feel they have mis-stepped by addressing the original subject. That is, after all, what apoe intended them to do.
To prevent misunderstanding, I'd suggest you start a new thread inquiring about apoe or send out personal emails to the posters on this thread if you think they have information. I know it's frustrating to have no way of reaching someone you are worried about. I wish I could help.
of course they didn't, but they also didn't seem to notice my post, since they didn't mention it, so i brought it up again before it got lost. sheran started one in gen disc. i cannot keep up with all the threads i have going for hurricane stuff, so i try to not start new ones when possible... and my dmail stays too full as it is...
we have gotten a little info. the first lead went to the wrong Amy Poe. the other two are being worked on by some great DG helpers.
just keep praying, so many people and family are broken up, not just on DG. almost 2000 children are still not with their parent or guardian... and many husband and wives don't know where the other is or if they are even alive...
please do carry on with the subject, it's an important one!
:-)
tf
sheran, i took so long to type mine we cross posted. i am still slow and tedious after hand surgery. sometimes i don't even get my errors corrected. thanks for understanding... and thanks for your help. we will find everyone, one at a time, and hope and pray it is always good news. i have a friend who has helped to find people, only to turn up corpses. still good to have closure, but i can't imagine how hard that is. i want to find everyone alive and well...
This message was edited Oct 28, 2005 8:56 PM
Sorry for stepping in here, If Poe does come back, she'll come here first before she goes somewhere that she's not watching.
This does seem a good place to post that.
And I'm sorry for interfering. Don't want to step on any toes.
kathy_ann
I do hope she's ok,
thanks, me too! when i find out, this thread will be the first to know :-)
tf
By typing in Poe's name in forum seach, you can check for new postings. If D-mail has been sent to her, that will be forwarded to her regular email eventually. If she has access, I'm sure she'll let us all know she's OK. This DG system of Dave's has covered most of the bases, thank goodness.
I've only been displaced by flood once, and it was a very strange feeling... and we had a home to come back to... muddy, but there. I can understand if new plant trade complaints would be the last thing on Poe's mind. I'm hoping she's just otherwise engaged at the moment. That would be understandable.
i have done all that,but thanks Weez :-) i ceratinly do hope that she thinks to check in here, but a few of us are actually ACTIVELY seraching for her through other means. i posted here hoping fliks who had chatted or traded here would have helpful info. didn't mean to intured. at least i brought the closed thread back up so it can be further discussed. when i was trading, this would have beena n important thread to me.
i also certainly hope she is otherwise engaged. i have been helping to find people displaced and reconnect them with family, friends, loved ones. and i want to be sure and do that for my DG family as well.
be blessed!
tf
hmmm any news yet?? Hope she is alive and well!!! ~ Suzi :)