I'm just letting you know that it's a little bit presumputious when you randomly email some one and say"I'd like any extra (insert the blank here) seeds. I'll send you a sase".... Just like that.
People, Especially Non-Members
oooooh! Michelle,
You made hair on the back of my neck stand up! It really got uncurled.
~* Robin
Can non-subscribers actually view this Forum? And yes, it does seem presumptuous.
You could always respond by returning the empty SASE (if one shows up) and state that you had none extra... *smirk*
Edited to state that anyone can do a google search and view the first post of a thread, subscriber or not. :)
This message was edited Mar 16, 2005 8:50 PM
I like the "return the envelope empty" hehe I got an email from someone wanting seeds and when I clicked on their name, they had just signed up that day. I didn't answer them.
Oh Lordy,we had a whole long thread on this some time ago,and we got rather silly and maybe a bit naughty(tee-hee) and I think Dave pulled it.But suffice it to say that it has happened to MANY of us.
Yep,
Just ignore the emails and go about your gardening..lol
Larkie
I know, I know. But I couldn't help it. Also, I was hoping that some non members would see and take a not so subtle hint.
I understand if Dave wants to delete this so it doesn't get out of hand.
I can't agree more Capt. I will occasionally post certain seeds for SASE and then I get emails or lists in the SASE asking for things off my trade list that wasn't offered. I simply respond that I don't have enough extras to offer except what's on the offer post.
Jan...
hmm- I'm confused- is the email system that we use on DG open to non-members?? or the address exchange??? how would a non-member get in touch with you?-I was thinking it was a closed system. I know the posts are open to browsers--but I didn't think one could respond as a non member..luckily, gardeners on the whole are a friendly bunch..but I'm concerned...(new a couple of months ago, so might not grasp the whole pic)
I know for sure (because I asked last week) that the address exchange is only open to subscribers, and that they can only access information in the exchange if they also partipate in it & enter their address.
I've had email from members who were not subscribers, but I don't think I've had email from people who hadn't registered either way with DG.
My trade lists are mostly listed as "trade only" because a couple of more experienced subscribers warned me I could get swamped with email requests otherwise, that listing as "trade or SASE" wouldn't stop people from sending long, "send me seeds!" requests. I've said a couple of places that I prefer to trade, but I'm not unwilling to do SASBE if I have something somebody else would really love. I figured I'd just post SASBE offers, or post/email to offer people seeds that they're looking for, rather than setting up my trade list entries as "trade or SASE."
I figure it's OK to ask, very, very politely, if somebody is willing to send a "trade" seed for SASBE, as long as you use phrases like "only if you have plenty to spare" and "I'll owe you" and "can I send extra postage or baggies since I don't have any seeds you need?" That's something I've done only rarely, when I can see I don't have any (or enough) varieties that the other person might want, and I try to be really careful about my phrasing. Sounds like the folks you're talkiing about aren't even phrasing it as a request, let alone making it clear that "no" is quite an acceptable answer and that you'd be doing them a big favor if your answer were "yes." Sending seeds for SASBE is a big favor anyway, and politeness is in order even if you're not hoping for any additional generosity.
I thought the trading primer, which I read right away when I subscribed in January, made all this perfectly clear. Perhaps people that cross the line should be referred to it..... I thought the response of "I don't have enough extras to offer this for SASBE" was nice & succinct, but I'd be tempted to add, "especially since you didn't have the courtesy to ask, nicely. Please read the trading primer!"
I think the confusion comes with the terms 'member' and 'subscriber'. In order to be a member, you just sign up. In order to be a subscriber, you must pay. A subscriber has access to the entire Garden, a member does not. A person can sign up on Dave's Garden and visit the PlantFiles.. even post to the PF Forum. They can access any of our home pages by clicking on our names in our posts on the PF forum or withing the PF entries. Once on our home pages, they have access to our tradelists and they can email us.
It's always a tough call when it comes to needy seed requests. Of course, in all fairness, non-subscribing members don't have a corner on politically incorrect seed requests, but it does seem to be more irritating when a requestor has no investment in the site, other than doing a bit of research looking for possible seed sources.
CM, I don't think any non-subscriber is going to see this thread... perhaps your first entry, but not any of the other posts. They certainly can't post to this thread. I'd suggest you put your requirements and concerns on your trade list. If people contact you without looking at your tradelist page, I'd send a polite reply that includes a link to your page and what you expect.
I send out a lot more seeds that I receive, but in most cases, I earn a friend or two and I make someone happy. On occasion, I've sent free seeds without SASE and I don't even get a thank you or reply. In fact, I can't even get a reply to my email inquiries. I've got a special folder for those folks, and if a name looks familiar on a request, I check the file before sending more. As with children, bad behavior shouldn't be facilitated! LOL!
I would just send and email stating kindly that you don't trade outside members of the site. That should be that and no hurt feelings.
I very recently joined Dave's Garden and I've been searching through trade lists and sending email requests based on 'trade or SASE' listings to random people asking (politely, or so I've been trying for) for sometimes long lists of seeds for SASE. I'll often check recent postings just to see if the person is still an active member (if all dates are 2001 I figure they aren't still using this).
Everyone who has responsed has been very nice and I've been thrilled with all the current and future planting I'm being able to do, but I certainly am not wanting to be rude, breaking rules or causing irritation and I am uncertain from this thread if it is ALL unsolicited requests for seeds for SASE that is a problem...or just rude ones.
I just started gardening, don't yet have anything to offer in trade and I'll admit to sending out seed requests within a day or two of signing up here (cause I got really excited). Want to find out if I've been doing right or not here.
Christina Cat
Christina
if on the trade lists it says for sase then its fine to ask.
what i think the problem has been now and in the past is people email you and say they are sending a sase for these seeds and dont even ask you are they available .
people pick someone and send an email and say they want it and sending sase without even asking.
i recently had one who i offered some seeds to and next thing i know someone else is wanting them even though in my post i said i only had a few to spare.
some people mass email everyone asking for seeds. wheter they have them to spare or not.
BUT if the trade list says sase and you ask then its fine. the problem comes when its doesnt say sase and people assume they can have them that way.
Not to get too off topic, but while ya discussing this I have a question please. I had a couple of people email me privately for seeds I had posted on a thread. I usually keep a trade or two back for those who email privately and not on the thread of what I offering as sometimes I have been one of them last people seeing a thread and that way I don't have to say sorry out.
I sent them two people an email saying I would gladly trade with them and to send me their addy cuz they are not in the exchange. One was somebody who had signed up that day nad the other one not too long back just a week or so before my post.
I haven't recieved their addy's . What do you recommend I do? Do ya email em again? How long should I hold the seeds. It has been 10 days sent I sent them an email. I know it rough being the new guy and trying to get trades going and I don't want to discourge or hurt anybodys feelings.
Especially since I know I aint perfect and some times I get stuff out fast and sometime life gets in the ways of driving the 30 miles in an opposite direction for the post office and I run behind.
Hi, starlight. If you replied to their email and they don't visit DG to see they have mail, within a few days, Administration sends them a notice that they have mail on Dave's Garden. They should have received a notice by now. I'd give them another day or two, then email to tell them you can no longer hold them seeds for them. That way, should they check their DG email, they'll know the seeds are no longer available. If they don't check their DG email, they probably lost interest.
Makshi, the people requesting seeds are members of the site or they wouldn't be able to email on DG. Most likely, they are members, but not subscribed members. You can tell if a member is subscribed when you go to their homepage. The date they joined is listed, as well as whether they are subscribed.
I think it is good to remember that unsubscribed members can still offer a lot to DG. They can contribute data and photos to the PF, info to Garden Watchdog, and probably some of the areas of DG. Whether any of us want to trade with non-subscribers is up to the individual. That preference can be posted on the Trade List home page.
Sometimes members don't even check our trade lists. I think they are looking through the PlantFiles and see our comments or photos, making the assumption we grow all the plants we add entries to, and that we probably collect seeds from them. Often that's a good assumption, and I can't fault anyone for being clever or asking.
Tinawind, requesting SASE is just fine. Most of us know that newbies often don't have a box of trade seeds, so we don't expect trades. I will say, for me, that long, long lists of SASE requests do grate on me a bit. In my case, I spend a lot of time harvesting, cleaning, and packaging the seed. When someone asks me for 25 or 30 packs of seeds SASE, it seems a bit rude. I've come to the point that I ask them to whittle the list down a bit. Some folks are fine with that, some never reply.
The way things are set up here, it's really pretty simple to avoid being bombarded with unwanted trades. Each of us can decide whether to respond to an email, and if we respond, what we want to say. No one gets your mailing address unless you give it to them or they are a subscriber and you've put your address in the exchange. I think the times I've become disgruntled with seed requests is when I'm not paying attention or I'm tired, or have a weak moment and agree to something I'm not comfortable with. I guess I'm mostly mad at myself in times like those.
I've done a fair amount of trading with non members, sases for the most part b/c I think a lot of them are just getting started. I don't even mind if they ask if they can have a trade item for sase. Please don't be discouraged if you're new. (I know that only subscribers can see this but I guess I'm telling you newbies not to be discouraged.)
What I didn't like the way they kind of stated I was to send them this seed. If they asked nicely, I don't think I would have minded at'all!
I'm going to trade my list to trade only now so I won't keep getting these emails. I think if they see trade, they'll offer something in exchange or maybe ask nicely. Then I can always say, no, I'll send it to you for sase!
Or you can do as I do...Just don't reply and keep going.
I don't even bother... Not saying that non-subscribers are not worthy. But it says a lot for a person, if they are willing to become a part and spend a few bucks to join. When I hear sob stories about "I can't afford a subscription" it turns me off. I am not unsympathetic towards low income. Because I definitely don't have any money! LOL LOL. But come on! Get a grip...we have to prioritize and be real. It cost money to grow things! Yall know as good as I do...So if you can't afford the subscription, then you can't afford to be growing no seeds!
Just my little 2 cents....
They were seed on my trade list; I think I know where you're going w/ this. "If they were listed on my trade list which said for trade or sase, then what's the prob?" It was the way they just stated I was to send them it.
Yep, there's a big difference between asking nicely and just saying "Send me these seeds!" Participating in this forum is not like ordering seeds from a catalog! I'd have no patience with that sort of request either.
I was only a member for almost a year and if I saw something I wanted I would ask for a trade. Or if a SASBE was offered I would state up front that I was a member and would understand if they wanted to reserve it for subscribers only. Never once was I refused and never once did I cheat on a trade. Most of us would give another gardener anything to help them. The key word is gardener. A true gardener loves to share the beauty and awe with others. It's a give and take between us that makes us who we are. I'll never refuse a request that's been given with the right intention, nor will I ever fill a demand or assumption. Weather or not a person is a member or subscriber has very little to do with it. When you sign up the info you have to give is the same. Subscribers get to do way more is the advantage.
This is my 2 cents worth. lol
luckpup
I received the following PM from a member (non-subscriber):
Re. Rhodophiala seeds
I am interested in obtaining some seeds from this plant. Do you have any availiable?
Sincerely,
James
This was my reply:
James, please clarify what you mean by 'obtaining'.
Ursula
I never heard back from him LOL.
Nicely put, Luckpup!
I was attracted to the daves site, after bad experiences on other sites... sorry ladies. and gentlemen I trade with anyone, beginner , subscriber or not.
I enjoy trading, sharing my love of gardening with everyone. I also enjoy giving!.
BEEE happy!!!!!!!!!
This message was edited Mar 20, 2005 8:34 PM