Groomer Concerns

some of you may remember that I recently had Merlin groomed. http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/486063/

I am now having some concerns about the different groomer I took him to. The reason I took him to her is because where I usually take him had disappointed me. There are certain things that are supposed to be included in the price, some of which are nail clipping, and anal sac cleaning. When we took him the first time, everything was great. They had gotten tangles out that I didn't think were ever going to come out. He had nails freshly clipped, and he just looked beautiful. They had sedated him, but I knew they would probably have to. I was fine with that. The second time we took him, they didn't clip his nails, and they had shaved his tummy instead of getting the mats out. The third time I took him, he wasn't matted, but his hair was getting so long that he had poo stuck to the back of his legs. My husband held him down, while I managed to cut some of it out, but I knew I didn't get it all, becuase he still smelled. When I took him in, I asked them to shave around his little bum, and cut the hair a little closer on the back of his legs, so poo could stick there. After I got him home, I noticed that they hadn't done that, but he was clean, so I didn't complain. Actually, I didn't want to complain, because this groomer is affiliated with my vet...and I love my vet. He's the best in town, IMO. Anyway, becuase of all of this, I decided to take him to this other groomer. She has the reputation of being the best in town. I took him there, and she did a great job, and did everything she said she would do. She doesn't like to sedate animals unless it's impossible otherwise, so she didn't sedate him. I told her I was surprised becuase he's so horrible about being brushed. She told me that they had to hold him down while she groomed him, but he wasn't that bad.

My concerns are this...
It seems like he's been more aggressive since we took him there. I think that being held down instead of sedated was tramatic for him. My husband has even noticed the difference in him since we took him there. So I've decided to go back to the original place next time. He never had these problems with them. If being sedated is less stressful for him, then that's fine with me. The problem is how do I make sure these people do all they say they'll do without sounding bossy? I'm so terrible at confrontation, and I get embarased if my husband does it. He don't mind a bit asking "Did you clip his nails?" "did you shave his bum?" "Did you do the anal sacs?" But to me that just sound so bossy. I don't want them to hate Merlin, because they think we're a pain in the neck. What do ya'll think?