A Wise Man once said...

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot
on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his
salt, that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred,
she will never turn into an old nag.

On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never
the present.

A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin',
ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is
kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make
beds, and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and
start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth....
remember about Algebra.

You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they
don't recognize you.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper, but it's really worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.. Today, it's called Golf.