I don't think it will mend...It is getting worse...

My heart is breaking worse than when ever. I know it has not been that long, but I hurt so bad. I cry at the drop of the hat.
I have asked God for my Vienna back...not sick, but back. I know I must let her go, as I can not have her. Every part of my being aches for her.
Is this what it is like to lose your little angels? Does everyone go thru this? I so desperately want her back. I lost a 17 yr old angel kitty named smurf once. I don't remember it being this bad.
Will I ever feel better? Will this pain ever ease? It feels like I am trapped in hell and I won't ever get out.
So often I would pray she would live with me here on earth all my life. I dreaded the thought of her passing away. And it is just as painful as I knew it would be.
God please I want her whole and home.