Here are several excerpts from correspondences allegedly received by an online supplier of pond supplies. Evidently, they try to service the public by providing free online support.
"My dog keeps eating my Koi and Goldfish, is there a pond fish that does not taste so good?"
"My son brought home a large green fish from camp and put it into the pond. It seems like every other day one of my other fish is missing, do you think this new fish is scaring them away?"
"I connect a hose from one side of the pump to the other and nothing is happening, what did I do wrong?"
"I made a pond out of cement and now cannot move it, any suggestions?"
The person who asked this question will probably show up as a top contender for a Darwin award-
"I want to put the electrical outlet for the pump about 2 feet under the water to help hide it. What are your recommendations?"
Here's a classic-
"I read somewhere that you should not feed the fish if the water temp. is lower than 45 degrees. This is a problem for me as my pond is frozen over. Any help you can give me will be appreciated."
"So big fish eat little fish? So you do not state, which fish to buy. So do I buy little fish or do I buy big fish? So what do you consider a big fish? So what do you consider a small fish?"
" For oblivious reasons I do not want to divulge my location, but I found out that water hyacinths are illegal to import into my state. I have several other illegal plants growing in my yard. It is secluded and off the main road, however I do not want to attract any more attention than necessary. Do you know of anyone who sells water hyacinth in Georgia?"
"I buy just 6 water hyacinth each year and by the fall my pond is covered with them. There has to be a way to slow the growth down, so I can see my fish."
I'm thinking some of the people who wrote the above are in need of some bleach in their gene pools but what do I know. These were the ones that really had me rolling but incredibly... there are mooooooore! Look for yourself but go poddy first and don't be drinking anything when you start reading!
http://www.skippysstuff.com/wacky_emails.html
I laughed so hard I cried!
You must have hit a nerve because nobody has responded..........
Just got back from a funeral and needed something to lift my spirits. I think that site just about did it. How did I ever miss that part of Skippys Stuff. I thought I had all of it printed out and now I am afraid I missed something else. :) Jessamine
Hey, E!
Yes, I have customers like those too! One never knows about some people (perhaps they shouldn't have water gardens? Could be dangerous!)
Have you seen this link? I posted it over at the general discussions forum. It's a hilarious (though not PC) spoof of one of my favourite rare plant nurseries (that I'll keep nameless for now)
http://members.tripod.com/~Hatch_L/shady.html
LOL!!!! Love 'em!!!
OMG! LOL!!
He he he! I have to admit I was almost gagging when I read some of the excerpts. I am so glad there are others who thought these equally amusing. I made my husband get up off the couch to come and look at my computer monitor so many times I thought he was going to get annoyed but even he laughed at quite a few of them.
Bogman, you bad boy! I recognize that nursery!
I have to admit, belonging to a pond club you hear just about everything. But some of these are over the top, I'm sharing them with the club members
Just came upon this thread, since I don't regularly check this forum as routinely
as I check the cooking forum.....really, really funny ! Thanks for the chuckles !
Soooo funny!!!! Thanks, Equilibrium. I really enjoyed that!
Hi Lauren, just came across this thread, have just about laughed myself silly...my hubby too, in fact he was incredulous could not believe people were this crazy...apparantly they are !!!!!!!
[and he built our pond which made it all the more unbelievable]