The Right thing to do....

Here's my question.....If you had a really & I mean really bad & very costly experience with an ebay brug salesman that uses DG to find his prey..... How would you warn our members to use caution when dealing with him? Your ideas would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want anyone else to be so disppointed. I am giving all the brugs that I got from him to a homeless shelter for teens in Hollywood as well as a gift DG membership for 'My Friends Place' (name of the shelter)
Any more suggestions on how to turn a nightmare into something positive would be appreciated. Thanks,
Bambi

In my opinion I would leave feedback for this seller on Ebay alone. Don't involve DG. There are two sides to EVERY story. It's not fair to present only your side.

It's wonderful your helping out a homeless shelter for teens. I don't think brugs are the plants I would donate. Many teens have figured out how to use this plant as a hallucinogenic and have become seriously ill and can even die.
http://www.health.org/newsroom/rep/92.aspx
http://www.local6.com/family/2637576/detail.html
If your not happy with your plants give them to a friend or compost them. Good luck.

I say the same, leave negative feedback on ebay alone. If anyone wants to know your side of the story, they can click on your name and email you.......... which I will be doing.

Bambi, I agree with Datdog & hibiscus on all points.
Compost the plants , do not expose youngsters to them.

Keep DG out of it ! Use E-Bays services to resolve your dispute .

Sorry you had such a bad experience with him. My plants are great and the person is very nice IMHO.

Bambi, you should edit your whole post out. there are at least 2 sides to every story, and sometimes more.

I totally agree with Kristi & Hibiscus also. DG is not the place. Feedback can be left on your purchases and anyone wishing to send you an email on the buyer may do so by clicking on your email link.

My only other suggestion is to check in the Garden Watchdog.

I personally would let Ebay handle it!

my apologies, so sorry.


This message was edited Apr 10, 2004 3:42 PM

This message was edited Apr 10, 2004 3:45 PM

Ok. How do I remove my post?

I don't think you were at all RUDE! You mentioned no names and asked a simple question.

If you take your post off, what will ours look like? Will make no sense whatsoever. Use your own judgement.

Gloria

I agree Gloria. B2B didn't mention names and only asked a question that she received answers too.

arlene - please check your mail.

dave

Bless you both.

Right, the place for that feedback is on eBay, not here. And I certainly would not donate the brugmansia to a teen shelter, for the reasons stated. Members here should already be aware of anyone who uses the member lists to spam them with advertisements.

John, I have never been spammed by a DG'er. How could they get a list ?
Concerned, SS

scooterbug, I have received 'spam' mail from people selling garden plants and products. All they need do is go to a list of members and start writing them (individually, of course, so that may not be 'spam' per se).

Even if I were interested, I don't reply to that sort of mail.

Bambi, my apologies. I'm so sorry you feel someone is just using daves to sell brugs. i think i know must of the members who sell brugs, but i guess i don't know the one you are talking about, as all the DGsellers that i know are reputable, nice, and certainly not here just to sell brugs. i believe ebay feedback would be your best tool, i read the feedback before buying as i think most all of us do, before bidding.
I would recommend abuliton, bward, cala, and JT. those are the ones i know. i actually sent JT his very first brugs and have traded with 2 of the others. i have never heard any bad reports on these DG members who sell.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful info.

Now the trouble with posts like this is that we all get painted with the same brush.Since I happen to be male,and sell on ebay,it could be me.I did sell this rocket scientist a couple of brugs a year or so ago but,I believe,through my website.I had a rude email saying she didn't want brugs from cuttings.Sorry,but I havn't figured a way to propagate named varieties any other way.I just filed that email in the circular file.Now,that said,I have taken care of any problems
any of my customers have let me know about.I don't question,I just fix it.

wonder if ya couldn't list the ebay'r on garden watchdog.
I mean that is what it IS there for.

ya know?

That is not the place for personal issues ....JMO
............... Am I supposed to judge a single person on these grounds. I think not =(
Let's try not to assume a 'pack' mentality again, PLEASE ! ! ! !

What have I started here? Everyone that has posted on this thread has been very helpful to me. My obsession with brugs is very new & as with everything.... we live and learn.

Bambi, I will have to share some brugs with you since you live so close by! We love to help along a new obsession!

I am sorry you had such a bad experience. When I first discovered that there were more kinds of brugs then were the usual ones around here, I bought a bunch from a guy on ebay. It was a disaster. I was so mad to have been ripped off to that extent. You do live and learn!

B2B, I don't think you have started anything by asking a simple question and I am personally disappointed at some of the responses that you have received. I don't see it as a "personal issue" I just see it as a question and you just needed to be simply directed to the the places to leave feedback. I have seen questions such as yours on other forums and they did not get the less than friendly responses that you received. I hope you do not judge all of here at DG's by some remarks that were less than tactful.

I definitely think you should post your feedback on Ebay and also go to the Garden Watchdog and post your feedback there. These are tools that I look at and if I see one detailed statement as to why I should not purchase from a seller that took advantage of someone, then I definitely will give some thought to it and do my own research and then make my own decision.

I have made many purchases over the years and a seller that is honest and has integrity and is concerned about his/her customers usually will make every effort to resolve the problem.

Arlene mention some sellers that are great and I must also add Tracey to the list. She has a website - Angelsbyashley.com and she is terrific to buy from and has beautiful brugs. You will not meet a nicer person and she also posts here on the brug forum.

Please do not hesitate to ask for help or advice anytime. This is what Dave's is about. We are here to learn about brugs and many other topics on this site. Sometimes, we simply do not know what to do and asking questions is ok . . even on handling the matter that you had a question about.

Thanks BrugNanny, if I had know.... I would have never asked.
I guess one must use extreme caution when posting on the forum. When or if I post again, I will surely be more careful. I promise. If anyone was offended, I am truly sorry.
Bambi

As a newbie, I think B2B did a lot of us newbie's a service by asking the question. I wondered the same thing about where the appropriate place is to let others know of the good or bad trades here on DG's and also the other places we shop.
I think it is important to have a forum available to let others know our experiences. I do think it could be similar to ebays feedback forum...short & simple. Just the facts.Maybe just a check mark or multiple choice type feedback form.Something that would keep it fairly business like without name calling etc. I personally have had a really bad trade recently and wondered where to let others know so they wouldn't have the same experience with this person.
It certainly is a sensitive subject that's for sure :)

Thanks B2B for asking for us all.
JMHO,
Lottie

I am amazed at the lack of tact used in some of these responses. I see nothing wrong with asking a simple question. I don't think the Garden Watchdog is here for us to "judge" anyone. It's simply here (as BrugNanny has mentioned) as a tool to help us make our own educated decisions. If it's within the Dave's Garden rules to post there, by all means post. Just my take on this subject. I do all I can to stay away from places/people who have these kind of comments. I don't believe B2B was looking for any resolution or anyone to "handle it". It was my understanding that B2B was simply looking out for his/her fellow DGers. (Thanks B2B).

Jesh,I didn't know there were 2 Rocket Scientists around...I thought I was the only one.....

I know I must be one....my husband always says "ask the Rocket Sceintist and points to me...."

CC, as a matter of fact I am a rocket scientist also and a darn good one too! Just ask any of my blonde friends! So you can't be the only one. I kind of resemble that remark that you are trying to the only one. LOL

And Bambi, please keep posting and throw caution to the wind. Most of us here do not bite! I promise.

edited to hide my rocket scientist modes of spelling

This message was edited Apr 11, 2004 6:08 AM

please take this in the spirit intended, i do not wish to cause hard feelings.
1. you accused him of using DG to sell brugs. Not true, a member here before he ever owned a brug.
2. you obviously received brugs from him that are alive, if you plan to give them away. you could be one of those who bought brugs, waited through empty promises and never received a thing.
3. i believe this post was totally inappropriate. You have slandered a fellow DG member. this does not make you look good either to an objective reader. This could have been handled very simply in emails. Indeed with my post i edited out yesterday, i was praying this thread would be pulled.
4. brug lust will destroy relationships, and make nice people treat others like the devil..... not simply ignoring or being polite when necessary, but trying to DESTROY other people. My brug lust was destroyed in november, 2002. there are still people sticking little pins in a voodoo doll with my name on it.
5. All but the newest must know who you are talking about. please go look at the RU forums and see how many posts have been made by him, and how nice he is and how many people really like him.
Scoot, congrats on your pack mentality comment, very wise and i am glad you posted it. i have made so many posts to people who never replied, trying to be polite. then again, when i see my friends attacked, i can't keep my mouth shut, so i guess i am no better than anyone else.
Happy Easter to All.

Arlene, I do not believe the seller in question will be found in the RU forum.

B2B writes
"Any more suggestions on how to turn a nightmare into something positive would be appreciated."

I have watched this post from the beginning! And for the most part, I dont' post and never post in the middle of an argument! I chose not to post here because I happen to know what is going on. Bambi did have a very bad experience with a DG'er and I do feel for her. She did ask a simple question on how to warn others. It did amaze me that some jumped on her without knowing her reasons for asking, but only because they "THOUGHT SHE WAS ATTACKING 'THEIR' FRIEND"!!! What does that say??? For me....that normally admits guilt! But that is just my 'humble opinion'!! From most here she got positive feedback on how to handle her problem and I'm sure that is what she was looking for!

As far as the 'rocket scientist' goes....I am proud to be ONE! For the most part I think it goes with the color of my hair, but I would like to see anyone else juggle 2 businesses and 6 checking accounts and come out on top at the end of every week. And anyone else that falls into that category is just as 'blessed' as I am!

I do not believe that brugs destroy friendships, PEOPLE do!!! I hate to see all the fights that occur and I would hope that everyone here has a Wonderful and Blessed Resurrection Day!!!!

Very well said Brinda, I certainly fall into that catagory this week, don't I.

I think if we would all practice what our Mothers tried to teach us as children we would be better off. "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all" B2B had a valid question, and was given very appropriate answers. No names where mentioned, just a simple question. The suggestions that followed were very appropriate, feedback outside the forums, where no trouble should have been started here.

Brugmansia and Friends........ That sounds like to me, a meeting place of Brugmansia growers and people who love them. We are all here for one thing, the love of this plant, the fun of learning, sharing experiences and knowledge gained through growing in our own zones.

If you have a favorite site that allows slamming and biting the ankles of others, then that is where you should post. I think I speak for most when I say that, we had really hoped the warning given by Dave a few weeks ago would have stopped this mess.

My time is very limited these days, and I really look foward to the mornings when I have time to come here a see what everyone is doing, what beauties we are collectively growing, sharing my morning coffee and hopefully a giggle or two with other "brug-nuts" Life is stressful enough, and as we very well know very short, so if all you are doing is coming here to "stir the pot" so to speak, go somewhere else. I pay my dues here to have fun, not hear negative adds and campaigns, I get enough of that through the political commercials on TV.

I thought about whether i should post, because i thought perhaps it wasn't my friend.

BUT I decided to post anyway, because fair is fair. Datdog's first post was to NOT involve DG. Her very posting involved DG into her situation. I am amazed this thread was not immediately pulled, because who ever it was is a DG member and they were allowed to be slandered.

If this kind of post is allowed, the seller who only uses DG to hawk his brugs and is very mean.... should be named and allowed to respond.

Naming people in the forums has never caused anything but fights, there is a time and PLACE for everything, it is not here, that is what the watch dog is for. This area is for fun.

I don't read every question as a chance for a personal attack, and handled in the manner it was, it was plain as day that everyone was trying to avoid any further attacks in the forums, so maybe your first thought was the right one. I agree fair is fair, open fighting in the forums is never fair, it involves people that have no clue about what is really going on.

I prefer a soiless mix and I think the dirt, should be somewhere else.

Lets have fun, quit all this fighting and fueding. I think if we ignor, what we see as trouble brewing, it will go away for good. Please stop incouraging naming of names, it is cruel and inappropriate!

Leaving feedback at eBay would have been the simplest and best solution, as well as the best way to warn other people including DG'ers about what you perceive to be a bad experience. I am not sure what was so wrong, as apparently the brugs were received and must be healthy and growing for them to be suitable to donate; and the expense should not have come as a surprise.

I don't know back to back or do I know the ebay person she is talking about. I don't even use ebay. I only posted what I did so no names were mentioned and peoples feelings weren't hurt. That is it. Plain and simple. No hidden agenda- no nothing. Sorry to cause any problems.